.

—

spencer walked into the bullpen that morning, the dread feeling of guilt still eating at him. he didn't know what to do for once, this wasn't a situation he could solve by thinking about it. spencer had hurt her really badly, and he knew.

his puffy eyes didn't go unnoticed by his fellow bau friends. jj, looking up from her file, furrowed her eyebrows in concern. "spence, you okay?"

even the nickname spence sounded foreign to him now, even though jj had been calling him that for years, long before gracen did. he felt nauseous.

"i'm fine." he said coldly. "what's the case about?"

"we don't know, garcia's running late."

spencer didn't respond, rubbing his head to ease the headache once again.

"spence, look—"

"jennifer, i'm fine. i-i don't want to talk about it right now. it's one of those things i have to figure out on my own." spencer was internally surprised at his own outburst. his own voice started to feel foreign to him. this wasn't spencer and his team could sense that.

"okay." jj replied, understanding how angry he was by the fact that he called her jennifer. "i'm always here, if you ever want to talk. we're all here for you."

"..." spencer bit his lip, deep in thought. "i know. and sorry."

"it's okay."

—

gracen hadn't slept for four days straight now. nothing worked, sleeping pills, meditation, alcohol—they only triggered her memories and caused nightmares. she was a walking zombie, to the say the least, and was extremely vulnerable.

"honey, you look terrible." marvin commented, catching up to her after work to join her in the elevator.

"wait for me you guys!!!" joyce was seen waddling in her black stilettos to the elevator, sticking her foot in before it closed. after one glance at gracen, her cheery demeanor changed. "gracen are you alright?"

"huh?" gracen snapped out of her thoughts. "uh, yeah."

"charis, you look like you haven't slept in days." joyce said, picking some loose mascara off her cheek.

she flinched at the contact. "i haven't."

"why?" marvin asked. she must've looked bad, she thought, because marvin was rarely ever serious.

"i don't know. i just can't." she said, cracking her neck. "it's been four days."

"since you've slept?" joyce asked.

gracen nodded. and four days since she'd seen spencer. the elevator dinged, opening, and gracen hurriedly stepped out, eager to go home.

"want to go out?" the two asked, running to catch up with her.

"no. not in the mood." she mumbled, "sorry." before leaving for her car. the two friends looked at each other, their faces only showing concern.

gracen drove home in her silent car, not even bothering to turn on any music or anything. she kicked at a random pebble on the ground, her hand making its way up to the door handle of the complex.

that when she felt a hand grab her waist, and another cover her mouth and nose with a cloth. gracen screamed, kicking at her attacker, throwing useless punches. no, this can't be happening. not right now. gracen thought to herself, tears running down her cheeks.

she let out one last strangled scream with the last bit of her energy, before everything went black.

—

spencer had been counting the days since he fought with gracen. the days since he hadn't been able to see her bright smile that lit up his world.

now his world was dark. empty.

he regretted everything, to say the least. spencer couldn't even blame her for anything that happened. he didn't go through she had. he really didn't know anything.

he was desperate. desperate to feel how he felt when she was around again. spencer needed her.

spencer let out a sigh, let his hand fall limp to his side after knocking several times on her apartment door. who was he kidding? what was done was done. he had to just let it go already. everyone always told spencer he had attachment issues.

—

"what do you mean you haven't seen her in two days?" spencer asked, furrowing his eyebrows.

"yeah." a girl who introduced herself as joyce said. "we invited her to go out but she didn't want to that night. then she didn't show up to work."

"and you didn't bother to check up on her?" he asked, anxiety creeping up his veins.

"i-i just assumed she called in sick." she said. "charis looked terrible for the past few days, i thought she gave herself a break—"

"no. nononono—" spencer grabbed his hair in distress. "somethings not right. something happened."

"i'm sure she's fine, what would charis do to get herself in trouble?" a man with a girly voice perked up from the other side of gracen's desk. he paused, thinking. "well, except for the fact that she's a little cuckoo—"

"reid!!!"

spencer turned around, flinching at the recognizable voice of authority as he spotted hotch standing by the elevator, eyes fueled with anger.

"conference room. now!" hotch yelled, quickly walking through a different hallway with urgency, talking with someone on the phone.

spencer immediately obeyed, sensing hotch's stress from the other side of the room. he jogged to the elevator, going back up to his floor.

as spencer entered the bullpen, he spotted the bau in the conference already, huddled tightly around the round table. he ran up the stairs, throwing open the door. spencer was already stressed about gracen suddenly disappearing, and this wasn't making it any better. "what the hell is going on?"

"spencer." garcia looked up at him with wide eyes. "you-you need to come see this."

the genius pushed his way through, as garcia pushed several photos into his line of sight. "someone left them in our mailbox." she said.

spencer's blood ran cold. his breath hitched as he shaking grabbed the photos, pulling them closer to his face. spencer thought his eyes were fooling him. this couldn't be happening.

the printed and glossy photos were that of spencer. four of them involved gracen—one with her on his back, laughing in the parking lot; another of them sitting in greasers; and the last two of them making out that night. and the last one was just of him. alone. like he was taunting spencer that he wasn't safe anywhere.

on all of the photos, spencer's face was crossed out with a red marker.

"spence, someone's been stalking you." jj muttered softly, trying not to push the knife in harder.

"no." spencer said, slamming the photos back onto the wooden table, making everyone flinch and take a step back at his sudden agitated outburst. "this—this isn't—oh my god-"

"calm down, spencer." prentiss grabbed his shoulder, but spencer's breathing only quickened.

he picked up the lone picture of himself, flipping it around. his eyes widened at the message written on the backside of his photo.

i'm coming for you next.

"he has her." spencer whispered, his heart dropping to his stomach as he was struck with another blinding headache. he winced and loss balance in his legs, stumbling until his fellow members regained him.

"reid, you need to sit down." rossi said, his voice laced with fatherly concern.

"no!" spencer pushed the arms off of him. "he has her!!!"

"who's he, spencer?" morgan asked. "spencer, answer me!"

"he's-he's, oh god." spencer couldn't prevent his head from spiraling into a frenzy of thoughts, possibilities, and solutions. he needed to fix this. it was his fault ben found gracen again.

"reid, i need you to calm down." hotch said, making spencer turn around at the man standing in the doorway, marching in. "i've got authorities to her apartment already."

"she's not there!" spencer said. "she didn't answer me when i knocked, i should've known something was wrong." tears prickled in his eyes, threatening to fall out. his heart ached for her so badly, it was far worse than her cursing at him, or ignoring him. if anything, spencer wished she could be cursing at him right now instead of this. "he has her. we have to find her—"

"we can't find her if you're acting like this, spencer." hotch said. "leave and get yourself together. i'm giving you ten minutes. after, you're coming back and acting like this is just another abduction case."

"but this isn't just another abduction case, hotch—" spencer argued.

"spencer. we need you right now. gracen needs you right now." hotch said, before spencer let the words sink in, biting his lip as he stormed out of the room. the bau silently exchanged concerned looks. they had never seen spencer like this.

"shouldn't we give the kid a break?" rossi asked. "maybe he shouldn't work this case."

"spencer is so stubborn, he'd rather die than not work on this case." morgan asked, rubbing his temples.

"yeah." jj mumbled. "stubborn enough to not tell us he was dating gracen jones."

"alright, which takes me back to this." garcia interrupted, flicking on the monitor. "gracen jones. kidnapped on october 12th, 1997. she was sixteen at the time, and her captivator, who she claimed went by the name ben, kept her for ten years, before she escaped and was found on november 25th, about five months ago from today."

garcia pushed the remote and the screen shifted to several pictures of her injured she gained in the cellar. "there were marks of torture all around her body, and evidence of sexual assault as well."

"poor girl." callahan muttered, her eyes full of empathy.

"yes, very, very poor girl. and it gets worse—" garcia hurriedly flicked to a few other crime scene photos, her back to the screen. "am i on it? do you guys see the photos? i can't look at them." she shuddered.

the team nodded, and she proceeded. "the x-killer. several victims were found dumped in secluded areas—all in which are related to or, as we later found out, interacted with gracen jones at first. they all died by slits in their throats, all in an "x," hence the name. he stopped killing four months ago."

"so this man is a sadistic serial killer with an obsession with gracen jones." prentiss mumbled from the end of the table, tapping on the table with her fingers.

"yes." the blonde pushed up her glasses. "also, another thing about gracen—four months ago she was transferred out of the hospital, changing her look and name to charis johnson. she actually works here, downstairs in the communications center."

"how did no one not know about her past, garcia?" rossi asked.

"any and all information about gracen jones' background was kept confidential—like top top secret file kinda thing—and i had to go many lengths to get it." she huffed, stepping to the side as her presentation ended.

"okay, so what does spencer have to do with this?" callahan suddenly asked. "i mean, how'd he get to know her?"

"the two got close while he questioned her for the investigation." morgan said, shaking his head with a smile. "he was a lovesick puppy."

"yes, and i shut it down, afraid of this exact thing happening." hotch said. "spencer is in danger, so we gotta find this guy, and fast."

"the two probably accidentally met again, and spencer had been seeing her since." jj said, examining the intimate photos of the two. "the girl was someone we knew this whole time." she said, shaking her head in disbelief.

"it's going to ruin him if we can't find her." callahan mumbled.

"we will." hotch said, completely determined. he didn't admit it, but hotch felt partly at fault for this happening. if he hadn't made spencer cut his connections with her months ago, would this situation be different? hotch didn't know if he had made things worse or only merely delayed it from happening.

—