"we're gonna have children one day, gracen."

gracen giggled in a daze, a feeling of euphoria overcoming her. "i'd love to have children. i love kids."

"really?" he came around the corner. gracen's calmness was replaced with horror. that same man—the blank faced one, the one who's head with just replaced with a smooth ball of , appeared. it was ben. gracen knew for sure now, she just still couldn't make out his face.

"no." gracen gritted her teeth. "not with you. you could never raise a child."

"yes, i can." the man neared, and gracen's breath hitched in her throat. "we can."

gracen jones let out a curdling scream as the man pulled out a sharp, glinting blade.

"stop moving, or i'll punish you for being a bad girl." ben said, pinning her down the mattress. gracen shrieked, kicking and screaming until he cut her with the knife. blood ran down her arm like a stream of water.

"get off of me! GET OFF OF ME!"

ben's dirty, calloused hands roamed on her body and gracen felt the urge to throw up. she wanted to die, she wanted to just end this nightmare already.

tears streamed down gracen's cheeks, she was still screaming, punching, and kicking at the air. "please." the girl managed to croak out. "help—HELP—"

"gracen!"

gracen could hear it—she could hear his voice. it was faint, but it was there. focus on it. focus on him. she thought to herself.

"gracen!!! you're not there, you're here." two hands started shaking her shoulders. "wake up. please."

her breathing narrowed, her dry throat forming a lump as she struggled to open her eyes, tears still pouring out of them. "oh my god." she croaked out, spencer's face finally focusing into view. "oh my god."

"it's okay." he pulled her into his embrace, rubbing his hand up and down on her back as he let out a shaky breath. "geez, you scared me."

"he touched me. he touched me, spencer." gracen whispered weakly, shuddering at the memory. she didn't know if this nightmare was a flashback or not. she didn't want to know.

"...gracen, i'm so sorry." spencer mumbled into her hair. the man didn't have any other words, he felt like there wasn't anything he could say—or do—to help this girl. spencer reid wanted to help gracen, so badly. he just wanted to see her happy. god, when gracen smiled it felt like the whole world around him stopped.

he wished he could only see that smile, but that would be selfish of him.

gracen set there, sobbing hysterically into his shoulder, as they sat there on the couch. by now, the show they were watching had finished a long time ago and it was pitch black outside, indicating it was long into the night. spencer found himself wishing he could stay like this forever.

when it came to gracen jones, he wished many things could happen.

"are you okay?" he asked, when he felt her face lift off his shoulder and her hands loosing their grip on his shirt. gracen looked up at him with terrified eyes, her face stained with tears.

"i'm scared." gracen said. "i'm scared he's going to find me."

"he won't." spencer said, resting his forehead against her. "the bau will make sure of that."

she nodded, not believing any of his words. at this point, gracen had started to accept the dread feeling in her stomach—the feeling that ben was going to find her eventually. it felt like inevitable fate. it felt like an incurable disease that she had.

gracen just wanted to make the most of what she had right now before it was gone. she wanted to make the most of spencer—his hugs, smile, everything. it was too early to say i love you, but it was never too early if she was going to die soon.

"spencer." gracen breathed out. "i really like you."

spencer's eyes widened, and gracen could see how dilated his pupils were. slowly, a soft smile made its way up to his handsome face. her heart fluttered. "i really like you too." he replied.

how innocent he was, gracen thought. spencer and her could never match perfectly. he was untainted, mentally stable, and had such a bright future for himself—he was a genius, for god sakes. he impacted the world every single day.

and she, she was a nobody. a girl who disappeared off the planet for ten years and came back with no one. not a single person that was happy to see her again, because those people were all murdered. she would ruin spencer.

"gracen?" he asked, snapping her out of her thoughts. spencer noticed she was calm now, and he slowly stood up. "do-do you want to sleep at my place? if you're scared, it's-it's okay if you want to." he stammered, hands fidgeting in his coat pocket.

gracen smiled softly, shaking her head. enough was enough. she couldn't let herself be this weak, or seem that weak, either. gracen could live without spencer, and she wanted him to know that because soon she wouldn't be in his life anymore. "i'm okay. thank you, spencer."

"yeah. anytime." he said, walking towards the door. she felt like spencer understood her reasoning. "have a good rest. if you spray your pillow with perfume it can help."

gracen chuckled, dropping her head. "goodnight, spencer."

"goodnight, gracen."

—

when spencer woke up, the first thing on his mind was gracen jones. he laid in bed, replaying last night in his head with an idiot smile on his face.

"spencer. i really like you."

she liked him. gracen jones liked him.

spencer was gullible. he caught feelings for girls very fast, and he was always too late to express them before they lost interest and left him. spencer knew he had liked gracen long before he admitted the feeling was mutual.

but what wasn't there to like about her? she was pretty, kind, funny—

spencer reid, the genius with an eidetic memory that can read 20,000 words a minute—stupidly let out a chuckle and plummeted himself off his bed, dancing around in his underwear.

his moment was soon ruined by the cell phone his to his bed going off. spencer picked up the phone and held it up to his ear.

"hello it's a beautiful sunny morning to boy genius." penelope garcia's voice echoed on the other end. "sorry to interrupt your sleep, but we have a case—meeting in 30!"

"i'll be there, thanks garcia." spencer said, quickly hanging up. the man tossed his phone on his bed and bolted to his closet. maybe if he was quick, he could pick up gracen on the way and they could get coffee.

spencer made sure he looked extra dapper today before leaving his apartment in a dash. he stopped when he entered the hallway, immediately turning back into his place to get his cell phone laying on the bed.

the genius made it to gracen's apartment, knocking exactly three times before stuffing his hands back into his coat pocket.

there wasn't a response, and spence proceeded to knock and wait a while more before giving up, sighing. she probably left for work already. mission failed.

—

spencer walked up to the second floor of the office building while two coffee cups in his hands. he ordered the same drinks because gracen had never told him what she liked to drink. spencer figured since he missed her this morning, he should at least bring her something.

"hey."

gracen's brunette hair was tied up in a ponytail which amusingly swayed as he turned to glance at spencer. a small smile made its way to her face but she oddly, forced it down. "hey."

the man set down the coffee on her desk, her gaze following his hand. "i missed you this morning so i decided to get you some."

"spencer, you shouldn't have." the girl smiled dearly. "and i just had my coffee of the morning already, silly."

spencer smile faltered and his hand flew up to rub his neck awkwardly. "i'll be taking this back now then—"

"no. mine." she shooed his hand away, bringing the drink to her lips.

"alright then." he chuckled softly at her. their eyes met like they were drawn to each other, neither of them breaking the stare.

spencer sensed something different today. it was awkward—it was a little uncomfortable, even. he hopped it was because they were both new to this—well, at least spencer was. he wasn't familiar with gracen's love life.

most of all, spencer hoped it wasn't the confessions that happened last night that made it awkward between them all so suddenly. she was the one who confessed first, though.

before spencer could doubt himself any further, he flashed her a quick smile. "let's go out tonight."

gracen's grin widened a little bit, something she couldn't control when looking at spencer's wide puppy eyes. "a-a date?" she asked.

he nodded. "something like that."

her stomach fluttered with butterflies, and gracen disliked how easy it was for her to be charmed. she couldn't help it, though.

"okay." gracen simply said. "see you later."

as she watched the lanky man turn on his heels and walk away, gracen couldn't help but feel a little paranoid. she didn't want him to get closer and realize how messed up she actually was.

she didn't want to fall in love. she didn't want to depend on anybody.

they always let her down. everyone let her down.

gracen chewed on her bottom lip, turning away. she needed to get away. she needed to get away from spencer. but slowly.

but he liked her too. and the thought of his words yesterday made her heart explode over and over again.

"one night." gracen said to herself. "that'll be it."

"what, are you finally stopping the spontaneous hookups?" marvin grazer, a general office assistant at quantico suddenly intruded her thoughts, making her flinch.

"marv, what the hell?" she eyed the man, who was picking at his cuticles from the other side of his desk, legs crossed and leaned back.

"sorry girly, i couldn't help it." he replied with his high pitched voice.

"and no, i'm not talking about the hookups." gracen shook her head at the voiced detail about herself that she hated.

"then what? that hot guy that just stopped by?" he asked, clearly wanting to nose in on her business.

gracen rolled her eyes. "he's-he's not—ah fuck, he is hot."

"spencer mcreid." marvin murmured under his breath clicking his tongue.

"you know him?" the girl suddenly asked.

"charis, everybody knows about him and the bau." he shrugged. "they're like, kind of famous."

gracen rolled her eyes, only feeling more bad that someone cool as spencer was stuck with someone as untalented as her. "alright then."

"are you guys a thing or something? wait, don't tell me—he's one of the hookups???" marvin asked, eyes wide.

"no! marv—geez!" she shook her head. "he's just a guy i met. we're-we're friends."

"ah." marvin leaned back into his chair with a smug face. "i see. friends that you know, get down and dirty every friday night or so."

heat rose up to her cheeks as gracen picked up a pen on her desk and flinging it at his head. if he had talked about any other guy like this, she'd laugh it off. but spencer was an exception. "absolutely not!!!"

"alright, alright!" he held his hands up in surrender. "i'll take him if you're not into it, then."

"he's straight, marvin." she deadpanned.

"a guy like that's full of surprises."

then it dawned on her. gracen knew absolutely nothing about spencer's love life, except for the fact that he has definitely had sex. she barely knew much about his life in general—except for the fact that his mother was a paranoid schizophrenic and was at risk for dementia, making spencer at risk for the illnesses as well.

at least she knew what would be a good conversation topic tonight.

—