Stefan's Manor

O L L I E

Stefan stared at me dumbfoundedly when I uttered those words, his eyes searching my face for any signs that I was just teasing him, but I'm not.

"I'm mad." He flinched and he looked like a lost puppy to me, unsure of what to do. I sighed and hauled him to the bathroom. "Very much, but let's clean you up first. You reek of blood." He nodded obediently and let me strip his clothes for him. There were droplets of blood splattered on his pants, some on his arms, others on his hair and cheeks.

When I saw his knuckles and the inside of his palms bleeding again, I grit my teeth and closed my eyes, as I calm myself down and not explode in anger.

"B-baby... I-"

"Get in the tub, please," I cut him off, my tone hard and cold, feeling guilty over the whole situation. He got hurt, again. Right after I told him to exactly not do that, but he didn't listen.

Stefan got in the bath that I prepared earlier; thanks to Devon who sent me a message that Stefan was on his way to our room.

I put two lavender bath bombs to help him relax and soak, and for the blood to be removed easily. It didn't take a minute for the water to turn red so I pushed the button to drain the water, then add another batch again. Same warm temperature and another two lavender bath bombs, as I wet his hair to remove the red liquid on the strands. I drained the tub once again and repeated the process until there was no trace of blood anymore. Stefan was silent throughout and kept on stealing glances at me.

I grabbed the loofah on the rack and sat on the edge of the tub, pouring a generous amount of bath gel, and lathered him up, cleaning every part of his body, while he just stared silently at me... afraid to make a sound.

I know that none of this was his fault, but more than the fact that I was angry because he hurt himself again, I'm angrier at myself for causing him trouble. Despite my blurry vision from the tears welling in my eyes, I continued rubbing and lathering Stefan's body; his neck, arms, torso, thighs, and legs.

Thank goodness he was not hurt badly. Everywhere I go, I cause trouble for everybody. To the people back in the mansion, to my ex-neighbors from my previous residences, to Trevor and Devon, to my grandparents... but most of all, to Stefan.

I reached for his hand and when I saw his wounds, I dropped the loofah and stood up, wiped my hands, then ran outside the bath and into our walk-in closet, my hands covering my mouth to muffle my sobs, deep sobs wracking throughout my body. Guilt took over me. Guilt and self-blame.

I locked the door and curled myself on the sofa, hugging my small body, as broken sobs ripped out of my chest. I shouldn't have come here. I shouldn't have let my heart dictate me and let myself get carried away with such a beautiful daydream... an enchanting illusion that answered all of my heart's desires.

As if anyone would want such a useless human like you. Get it in your fucking head that no one would like a freak like you. Piece of shit.

...freak like you...

...useless human...

...no one would like you...

...no one...

I squeezed my eyes tight and shook my head, hoping that it will drive away from Bryce's voice. No, Stefan loves me. He said so. He loves me so much. His kisses, touches, and the way he takes care of me are a testament to that love. He loves me. .

But for how long? I bet Stefan wants someone who will give him peace of mind, not someone carrying a lot of baggage. Soon, Stefan will realize that he can't carry my share of the burdens anymore. He will get tired of me and give up on trying to understand me.

I sat up and pulled my knees to my chest, my chest squeezing in pain and hot tears trailing down my cheeks. It hurt so bad to the point where I had a hard time breathing. The pain was close to excruciating, as unpleasant knots formed in my belly and my mind began to drag me into the dark abyss. The thing is, once you start blaming yourself, it's going to be an endless cycle until you spiral out of control. I don't want that. I don't want to experience that again. I did before and it was not pretty. I almost... I inhaled sharply and releases a staggered breath.

"Soon... he will realize... that maybe, I was never worth it all. It's tiring to love me."

"Really, baby boy? You should give me more credit than this." Stefan's deep voice filled with humor got me snapping my head in a flash, as I stare at him wide-eyed, amazed at how my tears stopped when I heard his voice.

My brows furrowed. "H-how--"

He held up the master key and I nodded. With a sigh, he kneeled so our faces were on the same level, as his thumb gently wiped my tears. His tender fingers and gaze full of understanding warmed my heart. How can the heavens bless me with someone like him? Am I even worth it?

I hiccupped and sniffled, and Stefan sat beside me and seated me on his lap. This is my favorite position because I can feel his touch whenever I want, and I can feel his warmth and security because of our closeness. Stefan whispered sweet nothings to my ears, giving me soft praises and murmured words of love until my heavy breathing became steady

"Baby, are you ready to talk?" He gently asked, squeezing my side and rubbing my thigh, sending warmth and comfort to my tensed and rattled body.

I just stared at Stefan, searching for any signs of irritation over the drama I caused but... I found nothing. Understandably, he will get tired of this situation where I just burst from emotional overload, leaving him without explanation, and locking myself anywhere in the house.

After all, this isn't the first time that this happened. It's always my initial response when things get too much and stress piles up in a rapid manner. "Found anything?" He asked again after a few seconds, then smiles softly. The way his green eyes stared deep into mine made me think that he can see through my soul.

I shook my head because all I can see is love and fondness. No signs of irritation or exhaustion. It's during these moments that I feel so much love emanating from Stefan... assuring me that whatever happens, he will still love me.

Flaws and all, no rejection.

I bit my lip and deeply sighed, my fingers holding the hem of his open shirt. He was not able to dress properly because he rushed to follow me. With a downcast gaze, I opened my mouth and whispered. "I'm sorry."

Stefan reached for my chin and lifted my face, a soft smile ready for me. He always has a smile ready for me and he doesn't know how much that simple smile saves me from self-doubt and insecurities.

"No need to be sorry, love. It was not a big deal." Then he frowned and glanced at his hands. "But my hands hurt because I was knocking continuously, and it seemed that you didn't notice," he whined with a pout as he buried his face in the crook of my neck, kissing and suckling it softly.

I giggled and hugged him, then pulled his face from my neck, looking at him affectionately. "Thank you. For understanding me. For accepting me. For not giving up on me." I tried my hardest to make my voice firm but it still trembled, fresh batches of tears streaming on my face.

Stefan smiled and cupped my face. "I should be saying that instead of you. After all, I showed a distasteful and scary side of me." The words that bubbled out of his throat went softer, but it was just enough for me. It was loud enough for me to hear.

I frowned and tried to recall what he was talking about, then an image came to mind. I wiped my tears and squeezed his hands, and put them down on my lap. "Oh. The part where you're rushing to the bath so you can wash away the blood?" Stefan blinked slowly at my dismissive attitude, his mouth slightly parted.

"Baby boy... not that straightforward, please. Here I was, so conflicted that I scared you to the point where you will leave me." I was surprised at how we also share the same worry at the moment, a very solid proof that our insecurities will never go away, but it doesn't mean that they can't be resolved.

I cleared my throat and averted my eyes. I'm not sure if I should tell him this important detail, but Stefan noticed it and he threw me a questioning glance.

"What is it? A penny for your thoughts?"

I gasped and shook my head. "Nope. Quoting The Band Perry, 'Oh, no. I'll sell them for a dollar.," I replied seriously and he just stared at me like a grown another head, then guffawed after. "I'm glad that I can provide you some entertainment, daddy."

Now it's my turn to pout. It's always like this. I run away, he chases me, assures me, tells and shows me that he loves me like crazy, and all the drama that was unfolded earlier just vanishes into thin air... like it never happened.

I grabbed his hands and inspected his wounds. There were bruises on his knuckles and the cuts earlier were opened. "You got hurt again, daddy. This is from the brass knuckles, right?" I pointed to the round bruises on his fingers. He did punch Bryce so hard. I think I heard the crack of Bryce's jaw from where I stood earlier.

"How'd you know that?" He asked breathlessly, his eyes blown wide and his face paled. Fear crossed his eyes, albeit subtly. He is really good at hiding and controlling his feelings, but another emotion was palpable in his tone: accusation and confusion.

I was startled by his icy tone but I bravely lifted my head and met his eyes. "I saw it. I saw everything."

S T E F A N

"W-What?"

I'm a ball of emotions right now. First, there was fuming rage towards Bryce because of the cruel things he inflicted on Oliver. Then, there was fear and anxiety, when he saw my disheveled, bloody form. Next were confusion and guilt, when he left me in the bath and I realized that I broke his promise.

Then it was endless love, affection, and understanding when I saw his curled and sobbing body that almost broke me... as I found out that we also share the same worries and fears. Now, so much trepidation and shock disturbed my already flustered heart... as I stared at him with wide eyes, my hands trembling and an unknown emotion boiling within me.

"H-how? You were asleep... and... and..." I tried to wrap my head around the fact that he saw my monstrous side, yet he was comfortably sitting on my lap, looking at me without fear and with so much confidence... and I don't know for what.

What I did was traumatizing for anyone to see... it was too bloody for anyone to see, yet my baby saw everything. He saw it, and I'm struggling to understand how he can be so calm.

Every part of me denies that kind of reality where Oliver saw me. He shouldn't have seen it. He was never meant to see it.

My mind was swirling with too many disorderly feelings when he smacked my cheeks with both hands, snapping me out of my thoughts. He sighed deeply and gave a small smile. "Finally, you looked at me. I thought I lost you there for a second, daddy bear."

I swallowed the painful lump lodged in my throat. "Why? You were never meant to see that." I helplessly leaned against the sofa, all my energy drained from torturing Peterson and Oliver's revelation. I closed my eyes and let exhaustion consume my body.

"I need to. I need to, daddy bear. No matter how brutal it was. I need to."

I opened my eyes tiredly and looked at him. "Why?" I felt betrayed. Because that is the one side of me that I don't want him to see, if possible, forever.

I don't want him to look at me and see me as the monster that I am whenever I get angry or stressed. I don't want him to get scared whenever I get overwhelmed by emotions, because reality check, we all have our share of bad days. Days where we just don't give a fuck to anything or anyone. I don't want Oliver to picture and overlap that side of me when my bad day comes.

His hand rested on my cheek, a small smile on his lips. "Because I want to know you. The real you, Stef." But I shook my head. This is unacceptable.

I gritted my teeth and pulled my hair in frustration, shaking my head. "No. I expected you to go back and turn away when you saw what was going to happen. You were supposed to be there, Ollie!" I roared, the frustration just kept on building up.

He was taken aback by my sudden outburst but it was only for a second. Then his expression became blank and hollow. "Why did you listen to the recordings then?" I flinched when I heard his voice filled with hurt and accusations.

He harshly wiped the tears slowly falling from his eyes and looked up, choking his sobs, and took a deep breath before meeting my eyes. "You were not supposed to listen to that too. Because that is a part of me that I don't want you to know. Why did you think I tried so hard to hide from my parents about my abuse?" He was waiting for an answer so I did.

"Because you were not ready to come out." He scoffed and shook his head.

"No. Because I was ashamed and scared. Ashamed for being so weak, for failing to defend myself, for disappointing myself. I was scared because my parents could throw me out the moment they realize that I am not the perfect son for them. That I'm worthless and broken. We know what people do to broken things... they throw them away," he spat harshly and mockingly, tears freely flowing and drenching his cheeks.

I frowned and tried to refute that statement but he did not give me the chance. His parents loved him, even his grandparents. A lot of people love him, and I need to get that fact into his head.

His eyes turned mellow and sad. "I don't want you to realize how broken I am, how emotionally-baggaged I am because let's face it. I am troublesome enough as it is. I won't argue and resist if anyone chose to drop me like a hot potato because they can't take me. All of me. I'm just a broken toy. No one wants something that is broken. No one is that kind anymore. No one--"

"Stop!" He froze when he heard my firm tone dripping with authority. This is the second time I raised my voice to Oliver, and I can see how this might affect him, with how several emotions crossed his face. "Stop it. Don't insult the person I love any longer. Even if it is you, are not allowed to bad-mouth the person I treasure the most."

Oliver gaped and closed his mouth quickly, an unreadable expression on his face.

"I will never let this pass again. Never. Because my precious person is kind, brave, and strong. He is far from being broken. Yes, he is cracked and rough on the edges, but he weathered it all. He survived all the hardships and pain. He lived. Don't you ever belittle and discount the tears he cried and the resolve he built up in his small body just to survive."

I inhaled deeply and took in his tear-filled expression, his hands covering his face as he cried silently and painfully. I reached for his hands and hold them tight. "Don't underestimate what you have gone through to get to where you are now." My voice turned gentler and softer, full of emotions. I cupped his face and kissed his tears away.

"Whichever way you see it, you are perfect to me. You are worth it, Oliver. Every single part of you is precious. I accept you wholly, no rejections." He bit his lip and sobbed softly, while I rested his head under my chin and rubbed his back. We stayed that way for a while then he lifted his head, his eyes swollen on the sides as he sniffled, his cheeks flushed from crying, as he gripped my shirt strongly.

"In the same way that you felt the need to understand me, I also want to know everything about you. I did watch the whole thing, but instead of getting scared, I was guilty and remorseful," he said, barely a whisper.

My brows furrowed in confusion and he clarified it. "I made you do all of those things for me... and it hurts, daddy. Maybe if we didn't bump into each other that day, then you will be free from all of this," he gestured himself and I shook my head.

"Please... you don't mean that, baby boy. Say you don't mean it," I pleaded because for me, that was the greatest moment of my life. A priceless chance encounter. I don't want him to regret that special memory.

He smiled and inhaled some air before he continued. "Just as you accept me, I also accept your everything-- flaws and all. No rejections," he repeated my own words at me and maybe it's because it's Oliver, but the effect was so strong I had to tighten my jaw to keep the tears at bay.

"Meeting you will be my greatest memory and loving you will be my greatest legacy," he added emotionally, and with that, I felt everything was redeemed. I am more than satisfied with that. I know my insecurity will pop up in the future, but I will make sure that I still have Oliver to help me chase my demons away.

He leaned in and kissed my forehead. "We met unexpectedly, and despite it being too fast, it also felt right. We didn't have a lot of dates and I don't think we experienced becoming an official couple for a good period. We jumped right away to being engaged. I love you so much, no doubt about it, but can we also take this relationship slow? Discover ourselves and get to know each other better? I want to know you, daddy bear."

I didn't expect Oliver to feel this way. The way he spoke those words carefully must have meant that it has been weighing on his mind for quite some time. He is right. We went too fast. For me, it was my need for Oliver to be mine that motivated me to propose to him. I didn't feel an ounce of doubt; being with him feels natural and I can be myself when I'm with him. I want to be able to feel that kind of love and acceptance for a very long time so I didn't hesitate to bend on one knee.

I took his hand and clasped it with mine. "What do you want to do then, my love? I'm all for it. Everything you want to do, we'll do it." He gasped and beamed at me, then jumped onto me and gave me a bone-crushing hug. I patted his back lightly with a soft chuckle.

"Okay, but let's do it after this thing with Elena is over. I want to go on dates without interruption," he requested with a pout and I agreed. I would also feel better that way. "Oh. Oh. I remembered. We already had our first date! When we went out for a movie. The second one was on the rooftop. That was so beautiful."

I smiled when I remembered that particular memory. "It was Jesse who designed the venue."

He grinned and nodded. "That's true. He is amazing." Then he clapped his hands when an idea popped into his head.

He took off his ring and gave it to me, my heart rate dropping as I paled. "B-baby?" The ring felt so heavy on my palm, as my heart constricted from sharp pains. Is he backing out?

Oliver smoothened my wrinkled forehead and clucked his tongue, then pressed a quick kiss on my lips. "Silly daddy. You're overthinking again. I'm giving it back to you because I changed my mind."

That did not make me feel any better. At all. It just increased my worries and confusion. I gulped and stared at him worriedly. "A-about what?"

He smiled and clasped his hands on his back. "We will go back from where we started." I remained confused while he turned his back on me.

I put the ring in my pocket and cleared all negative thoughts. Don't overthink, Stefan. Everything is all well.