Apologising does not always mean that you're wrong and the other person is right. It just means that you value your relationship more than your ego.

- Anonymous

When the darkness engulfed the streets of the city, my anger turned into despair.

As I drove through the wide black gates, my eyes looked over the gigantic house differently. For the first time, I realised the house was too big and it was drowning in black.

The darkness around me didn't help my mood instead it dropped another level. The more I thought about Claire, the more guilt wrecked my body.

I opened the door of the car and just stared at the house. Soon, Claire would be living here. She would make this her home. How could I have questioned her character under the house which would be her soon? How could I have questioned her? Period.

Sighing, I climbed up the stairs. Each step felt heavy and filled with despair. She would have gone back to her apartment by now. Why would she stay anyway? After the way I behaved, why would she stay? Her hurtful eyes haunted my every single vision. It hurt me to see her face which -even though she tried to hide- showed me her true emotion. I didn't know why I was hurt by that. Guilt, yes but hurt, I didn't know.

This woman was already rising many emotion that I felt for Laura but it was much stronger than what I felt before. And that was what confused me more.

I really needed a long dose of whiskey. Taking long strides, I entered the living room but stopped short.

I could recognise those chocolaty hairs from anywhere. "You're...still here.." My blasted mouth spoke before I could even think. I thought she would have left by now. Thank god, she was still here. That meant, I could explain my behaviour.

Startled, Claire stood up and turned. Her eyes met mine. Her voice barely a whisper. "Do--don't worry. I-I was just leaving."

"No, wait!" I took quick steps and stood in front of her, before she could even blink. "I want to talk to you."

"No, there is nothing to talk. I was just leaving." She tried to get past me but I held her arms, gently. Without saying anything, I pulled her back to her previous position. After she sat on the couch glaring at me, I backed away.

"Let me explain." I started. "Just listen to me."

When she just kept on glaring and her lips pressed together in a thin line, I took that as a sign to continue.

"I shouldn't have said what I said...earlier but I won't apologise for it."

Claire gasped and instantly stood up. Before she could turn away from me, I jumped a feet and pulled her back on the couch. Kneeling before her, I kept a firm hold on her so that she wouldn't runaway without hearing everything.

"Just listen to me before you walk away." I told her, distressfully but she turned her head away, looking out the window with murder in her eyes.

I never thought I would be this nervous, in front of a woman and that too, while kneeling. She could be pretty unpredictable and scary sometimes.

Swallowing, I continued, "Look, I said I won't apologise because it was just me being cautious. Yes, I shouldn't have said things like that, questioning you directly but I don't know how else to ask you. I--"

"Why don't you just say you don't trust me?" Claire said, quietly. "And when it's not me, you should at least trust Liam. He's one of your loyal man after all."

I pulled back and stared. When she still wouldn't meet my eyes, I stood up and crossed to the other side, muttering. "I trust you."

At once, she rose to her feet and cried out. "No, you don't trust me!"

"I do trust you!" I said, defensively.

With her eyes glistening, her lips quivering, she shook her head and retorted. "No, you trust me only with Lydia. You don't trust me with yourself!"

I staggered back and dropped my eyes to the floor in shame. I couldn't deny it. I couldn't because what she said was true. I could never trust her with myself. I fisted my hands and gritted my teeth. Why couldn't I just trust her? Why was it so hard?

"I don't know why you won't trust me. I don't know what I did to make you not trust me. These last few days, I had been a fool. A fool!" She screamed out. Her hands flying around her, fingers pointing at me and her. "I thought we were progressing. Not me and Lydia. Just you and me but I was wrong and a fool."

We?

Was it my fault that every step of mine were thoroughly calculated? I had my reasons to be cautious. Two of the closest people in my life stabbed me in the back. If she thought couple of kisses here and there would make me trust her, then she was wrong.

I turned my steel-like eyes over to her teary eyes. Seeing that, I made the walls around my heart thicker. That face could weakened anyone but it was for the best. I couldn't allow my feelings to grow for her and it was best if she didn't have any such feelings.

"There was never we in our agreement." I reminded her. My voice as hard as it could be. "There was always you and Lydia. Never me and you!"

As if the words struck her, she flinched back. Then suddenly she started chuckling, humourlessly though. "I'm such a mess. You are right." She nodded and looked at me. "I'm here for Lydia. Only Lydia."

Then she gave me her back. When I realised she was preparing to leave, I instantly went to her thinking if she walked away now then she wouldn't ever come back.

I took a hold of her hand but as if I burned her, she snatched away her hand and snapped. "Don't touch me!"

"Claire.."

"No! You don't get to touch me!" She said icily, emphasising each word. "You said so yourself there's no me and you!"

Her words did affect me. I didn't get to touch her? Would she let others touch her instead? What the hell did I do?!

Without thinking, I countered back. "I will still be your husband."

"Only in name and papers!" She retorted in anger. Her eyes blazing, her chest puffing in and out. Even though she was oozing angry vibes, I could see tears on bay in her eyes.

Had I hurt her that much? Had I ruined everything? Was my pride that important to not back down and accept defeat? Was I that narrow minded to not trust the woman who accepted my daughter in seconds?

"Mommy?"

It took me a moment to realise a small voice had spoken from the entrance of the living room. At the same time, Claire and I looked there to find Lydia in her lilac pyjama, standing and holding the stuffed yellow fish with blue stripes, the one Claire brought for her.

"Are you crying, mommy?" She said, with her mouth slightly pulled down.

I looked at Claire at the same time she turned her head away from Lydia and rubbed a trail of tear that I failed to notice before. What had I done?

"No, Lydia." Claire said, softly. Her tone totally different from before. "What are you doing here? You're suppose to be in bed."

When she was still standing there, staring at Claire intently. I spoke up, sternly. "Lydia, go to your bed now."

"No!" She said, with a glare then she looked at Claire. "You are crying.....noo! Why are you crying?"

Claire shook her head, frantically. "No, no. I wasn't. It was---"

"I saw it. I saw you crying!" Lydia burst out as she dropped her stuffed toy and ran to Claire and hugged her. "Are you sad? Why are you sad?" Before anyone could reply, she turned her angry face to me. "What did you do?"

Baffled and hurt, I glanced at Claire who was as shocked as me then back at Lydia. "What makes you t---"

"You did something!" She accused, cutting me off. Her little finger pointing at me. "You made her cry. Why did you do it?! Now she is going to leave us! I hate you!" She shouted then she turned back to Claire and hysterically begged. "Please don't leave us! Please don't leave me. I will be a good girl. I won't ever do anything bad. I promise. Please don't leave me. Please stay wit---"

"Lydia!" Claire called out, stopping her ramble and cupped her little round face. Lydia was shaking and crying. I tried to intervene and pick up my daughter but I was afraid she might go into shock. She seemed so angry at me.

And my little girl....hating me.

"Please don't leave me!" Lydia hiccuped though her tears. Immediately, Claire pulled Lydia in her arms and sat on the couch.

"No! Shh! I won't ever leave you. I promise." Claire soothingly said, rubbing my daughter's back. "I love you so much, sweetheart. I could never leave you."

Calmly, Claire kept on comforting her until her murmurs and hiccups subsided. Soon, her breath evened as she was lulled into a peaceful sleep.

Seeing Lydia so broken in Claire's arms and hearing her hateful words toward me, shattered me.

I hate you....I hate you

She had never said those words to me before. Tonight was the first time she ever said it and it hit me hard. First, I hurt Claire, now I hurt Lydia. I could never do anything for my family. I failed them. All of a sudden, my eyes stung and I blinked harder.

Balling my hands, gritting my teeth, I walked around the couch to leave but a pull in the back of my shirt restrained me to take a step forward.

"Let go, Claire." I choked out, trying to keep my voice emotionless but I didn't think it was working.

"Don't. Don't leave."

Swallowing the sudden lump in my throat, I met her glistening blue irises. "Stay the night with her. I'll---I'll be out."

"She didn't mean it, Tyler. She didn't." Claire told me as she left my shirt and took a hold of my hand with her soft and warm hand.

"She meant it." I nodded, hating myself more than anything in the world. "I hurt her. I hurt you. I hurt you both."

She nodded, one tear leaking away from her beautiful eyes. "You did but you didn't mean to. There's something else. I know there's something which made you say those things to me. I know you're not that heartless."

I smiled sadly, stepping forward and rubbing away the lone tear with my thumb. "Do you always see good in everyone?"

"You're not that good but you'll do." She said softly, with a wobbly smile and leaning her cheek toward my hand. "Please stay."

I shook my head. "I need to be alone. Lydia wouldn't want to see me."

"You don't need to be alone. You need to be with her." She gestured her head to the sleeping red-haired then pleadingly, she gazed at me. "She wants you. She needs you. I need you. I know I'm here for Lydia but I can't do this alone. She needs her father as much as her mother."

"But she hates her father!"

"She didn't mean it. She just said that in anger. She is your daughter after all." Claire explained, pulling me by the front of my shirt as I stepped away from her reach earlier.

"Our daughter." I corrected her and teasingly looked down at her hold on my shirt. "Are you planning to tear my shirt?"

And gradually her cheeks turned pink which I loved seeing but she didn't leave her hold. "I won't let go until you sit down with us."

Glancing between my beautiful fiancée and our daughter, I made a quick decision and sat down beside her. I pulled her in my arms and laid my head on top of her head with Lydia sleeping soundlessly in her lap.

After a few minutes of silence, I spoke up. "I was wrong." I admitted. "I was the one wrong. I was the fool." Claire inclined her head to me and I focused on her. "There was not just you and Lydia. There was you, Lydia and me." I said intently then paused before I added. "Then there was me and you. Still is."

With that, I leaned down and kissed her with every fibre in me.

Head and heart saying the same thing as if I already didn't know.

You've fallen. You've fallen hard.

******

Currently, I was enjoying the scene before me with a big smile. It brought out so much longing that I couldn't help but throw out my damn caution over my shoulder.

I was blessed with a second chance. Why couldn't I just accept it and enjoy? Why did I have to bring out the past and have it act as a barrier?

My compassionate fiancée was tucking our daughter in the bed while keeping herself from dropping down with sleep. From the end of the bed, I could see her tired eyes, her slow movements.

Lydia was already asleep and in her bed but Claire still lay beside her, staying the night as I asked her too. Though the bed was small for two people. What did you expect a child's bed be like?

Claire was barely keeping herself on the bed by laying on the edge of the bed.

"You do know we have beds in our guest rooms, right?" I asked as I crossed my hands over my shirt, the one which was untucked, thanks to her.

"The guest rooms are far from Lydia's room." She said, caressing the beautiful red strands of the little girl. "What if she wakes up in the middle of the night and doesn't find me?"

She would behave like before. She'd be hysterical. I didn't want my little girl to behave like that, ever again. I didn't want her to cry and beg Claire to stay. I didn't want her to say I hate you to me again. I didn't know if I could take that again.

My chest ached yet again thinking of her words. I couldn't let that happen again. "My bedroom is nearer. You could sleep there." I suggested.

Even the thought of her sleeping in my bed jumbled my emotions. How long had it been since a woman slept in my bed? Too long.

"What? No! I can sleep here perfectly fine." She squeaked out, instantly avoiding my eyes.

Really? Was she that innocent?

"Claire, this bed is too small for you. Sleep in mine. I'll be in the study all night anyway. I have tons of work. So the whole bed is yours." I explained, enjoying her squirming. She really was innocent. I meant ofcourse not literally, but definitely in mind.

Remembering what Jax brought over about Claire Bishop on the first day, I balled my fists. The thought of her ex-boyfriend doing whatever he did to her made my blood boil but if I kept on thinking about that now, then I was sure I would have murder in my hands but no matter what, now or later I would make that low-life bastard pay, somehow.

"No, it's alright. I cou---"

Shaking my head to rid of the thoughts, I replied firmly. "Don't. Just don't argue. Look at you. You're so tired. You need a proper bed to sleep. Come on."

When I took a step forward, she leaned more to the bed but while doing that, she inched herself more to the edge of the bed, barely escaping her fall.

"See?" I pointed out and took long strides and picked her up in my arms, without any hesitation. "You are too stubborn for your own good."

"Wha..? What're you doing?! Put me down!"

I looked down at her and raised my eyebrows as she fumbled with her hands around my neck. "Are you trying to wake Lydia up?"

She glanced at the sleeping girl before she whisper-yelled at me. "Put me down now!"

Rolling my eyes, I adjusted her weight in my arms and walked ahead, closing the door with my feet slowly, hoping the sound didn't wake Lydia up.

When there was no reply from her room, I continued to my bedroom, very aware of the delectable body in my arms. Since she stopped squirming and just glared at the walls with her cheeks blushing, I became very aware of her body. Her warm body.

How long had it been since I held a woman in my arms? Claire really made me do things that I thought I'd never do again.

Gently, I laid her on my bedsheets and sat myself down on the edge, just staring at her. She tried to turn away but I dropped my hand on her arm.

"I...I...Claire, I'm sorry." I told her. She didn't turn away from me so I went on. "I shouldn't have talked to you like that. I should have trusted you. I'm really sorry for everything."

Claire just stared at me. Her face closed off. I couldn't help but feel nervous. Had I ruined all the progress?

"Tyler..." She finally started. "You remember you promised me you're going to tell me about what happened with your late wife?"

Ofcourse I remembered but I didn't want to. "Claire..don't--"

"No, Tyler!" She stopped me before I could go on. "Sometimes you get close and sometimes you get too far. I think I would understand you better if you just tell me what happened. I feel like... I feel like Laura will always be between us. I fee---"

"No, Claire!" I stated strictly, barely hiding the disgust and hate in my voice. "She would never be between us. She would never come between me and my family. I wouldn't let her!"

Her betrayal, her death wouldn't come in my way. Never! I had let it be a barrier for me, for years now. Not anymore. I wouldn't let her win. She was beneath the soil, away from me, away from my family and from now on, I would make sure it stayed the same way.

"Tyler?" I heard a soft voice with a warm touch on my cheek.

When I realised I was glaring at the wall behind my bed, picturing my dead wife in my head, I closed my eyes removing her from my mind and covered the hand on my cheek with my own hand, focusing only on Claire's delicate touch.

"Tyler, please look at me."

Instantly, I beckoned my eyes to open and set them solely on her. Warmth spread all over my body at the sight of her beautiful face. Somehow without me being aware of, she slipped in through the thick wall wrapped around my heart. She slipped in smoothly and made a home for herself. None of these were as shocking as I wanting her to stay exactly there.

I thought it was only my daughter who wanted her in our home, in our life forever but no. Now, I was just behind my daughter wanting the same thing.

These realisations couldn't have come at a better time. Just before a week from our wedding. Now, we would be marrying for all the right reasons, with everything in us.

Slowly, I placed my hand on the pillow beside her head and the other hand lowering her her hand as I leaned closer to her face. Emotions floated in her blue eyes. Her blue eyes just like the sea, crystal clear blue- shimmering and crashing and churning with every wave of emotion.

It was hard to sought out every emotion. Whether it was sad, hurt, anger and dare I believe, admiration? I didn't know. Probably a mixture of all. To clear out some of it, I let my words flew to her. "I swear to god I wouldn't let her come between us. And I will tell you everything but not now, not tonight."

"But Tyler..... "

I let my face caress her neck as I inhaled her sweet scent of perfume, soap and skin. "Not tonight."

Her body shuddered and I was glad I wasn't the only one feeling vulnerable with our touch. Dropping a lingering kiss on her neck, I straightened up. "Sleep. We'll talk later. I promise."

Smiling slightly, she nodded in understanding and rolled over, closing her very tired eyes.

After I switched off all lights except the lamp on the side of the bed, I walked downstairs, into the study and left the door ajar as I closed off all my thoughts and concentrated on finishing some works.

By the time I was done, it was already past midnight. Loosening my stiff muscles for a moment, I walked back upstairs and paused before Lydia's room. Inhaling a tight breath, I opened the door and found the beautiful sleeping face of my daughter.