《Destiny Untold》Chapter 25
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Later on, once darkness has descended upon them, Amara lays in bed. She breathes deeply and closes her eyes, clearing her mind so she can start to sift through and process everything she has been thinking and feeling lately. She puts the issue of Maddox to the side to first focus on what has actually been eating at her the most.
It is a novel experience to both feel more comfortable and at home than you ever have yet simultaneously lost. What does she want from life? What would fulfill her personally? Amara has never wanted to be the kind of girl who wraps her happiness and self-worth into a relationship which means she needs to find herself, independent of whatever may or may not be happening with Madd. The conversation with Sina during the pack party along with their earlier planning comes back and conviction solidifies in her. She will make the trip happen.
Something inside of her is telling Amara that will be the best thing for her. To go see the world without the protection of her parents or anyone else. Sina and Amara, standing on their own two feet. Hopefully, she will find what she is searching for somewhere out there. Her own identity outside of the people she cares about. A path, a passion for something like Sina is passionate about photography.
She is no closer to an answer but somehow she is more at peace, excited even, viewing it as an adventure of self-discovery instead of dwelling on the feeling of being lost or the small bit of shame for not having her shit together. It’s all a journey and she is slowly coming to terms with that. It helps that talking to Lyam made her realize most people their age have no fucking idea what they are doing. They are all in the same boat, trying to figure it out and find their place in the world.
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Sleep comes easy after that. There are still worries she needs to address and remembering the conversation with Ly has her mentally noting that she needs to talk to him soon and make sure they’re cool. They left off on a weird note and she doesn’t want to lose his friendship, new as it may be. It must all wait for tomorrow as slumber beckons her into its clutches.
Across the suite in their own room, Elsie and Ulrik speak in tense whispers. They had managed to discover what had really been happening. Amara had shared with them an abbreviated version but they kept discreetly digging on their own. What they found out had their hackles rising. It was happening, they are running out of time.
They had hoped to stay under the radar a while longer. For the first time, the pair is second-guessing their original plan. Their parental instinct has them wanting to pack their family up and run. Run until they can disappear. Too bad that’s not really an option. In bed, they hold each other and pray they have done enough to ensure their daughter will be strong enough for what’s to come.
A few days go by with Amara falling into a routine. She wakes up early, helps Lauren, Alesha, and the rest cook for the day. Then. She goes to train every other day. Fighting and tracking with her mom, lessons on politics, and hunting with her dad. They had been tense and upped their lessons since the day after the rogue incident. She figures it is just worry for her safety and if it gives them peace of mind then Amara doesn’t mind.
She has made it a point to go down and eat with the pack whenever possible, always sitting with different people with Sina often joining her and offering introductions. It makes her feel connected to those around her and takes a little of the sting away from Lyam obviously avoiding her.
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As for Maddox, she hasn’t really seen him since the night of the incident. That's actually a bit of a lie since she does in fact see him every day. The Alpha always makes an appearance during dinner even if he doesn't stay to eat. What Amara actually means is she hasn't been alone with him since then. Not being near or interacting with him is a shot to her nerves. She has, in the days following the events of that night, fully come to terms with her feelings towards the magnanimous Alpha.
Her wolf is on the same wavelength which only makes the distance twice as difficult. Out of all the wolves in the world, she had to fall for an Alpha that most likely has a mate somewhere out there waiting for him. She silences the voice inside her that hopes she is that mate. The signs are there but she is not willing to do that to herself. If she convinces herself of the possibility and ends up being wrong...she’s not sure her heart will survive that kind of disappointment.
With every glimpse she catches of her Alpha throughout the week, he looks increasingly tenser and Amara wishes she could somehow alleviate whatever burden is plaguing him. Even she is beginning to feel stifled and the need to shift and run once again invades her thoughts. Her body feels tight, letting loose and running free sounds like heaven. Her muscles ache to be stretched in ways bending can't quite do.
There is a pack run coming up in a few days but that still seems so far away with the restlessness buzzing beneath her skin. She has shifted while training but it's not the same. Unfortunately, the surrounding woods are being heavily monitored around the clock with the prisoner still being questioned on pack grounds. There is one way she could go and be left free to roam but only on the off chance that the person she has in mind is willing and able to accompany her.
There's only one way to find out but she will have to wait until later on in the night to be sure the least amount of people are still milling about. She knows she is playing with fire, allowing her heart to grow further attached to Maddox. Does that change her mind? not at all.
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