After making a less than stealthy escape, Amara decides it is past time for a good run. She had kept from shifting since joining the Onyx Moon pack. The notion of letting go and embracing her wolf while surrounded by so many others had left a weird feeling in her gut. She had only ever run with her family and they were usually in large secluded forests to avoid unwanted sightings.

The trepidation has mostly left as she settles more and more into pack life. Not completely, but enough that she does not hesitate to book it outside and into the nearby woods on pack territory to shift. There is a buzzing beneath her skin, pulling her thin and electrifying her mind. The tension within her only intensifies around Maddox and she desperately just needs to let some of it out and running free has always helped her unwind.

Deep enough into the tree line that no voices can be heard anymore, a quick look around confirms no one is around. Behind a redwood, Amara strips down and clears her mind. She listens to the rustling of the leaves as the wind caresses them. Scurrying of animals frolicking from bush to bush. The smell of fresh rain and earth tickled her nose. She is connected to nature and yet becoming nature itself.

In this headspace, calling forth her wolf is effortless. The change overtakes her and in seconds, a lithe bronze wolf stands where a young woman had stood before. She takes off like a shot, weaving through the trees. It is liberating, being in this form again. Amara and her wolf are one after having their instincts pulling them apart since meeting their Alpha.

She feels playful, familiarizing herself with her surroundings, giving chase to the critters that dwell in the forest. Her paws dig into the still moist dirt and the light drizzle of rain leaves dew drops on her lustrous fur. She lets out yips of joy, practically frolicking without a care.

The presence of another wolf halts her in her tracks. She can register the scent as male under his own personal scent of honey and juniper. It triggers her memory and the boyish face of Lyam Kahale pops into her mind just a fraction of a second before a dark cocoa brown wolf breaks through the underbrush into view.

He bounds over to her, tongue goofily sticking out of his maw. A happy whine leaves the larger wolf as he darts forward to nip at her ear then prances back with a wagging tail, trying to coax her into playing with him. Amara pretends to turn away before lunging back at him and pulling on his ear in retaliation then zipping away.

A joking growl follows her as he takes off after Amara, hot on her heels. Lyam’s wolf is big, definitely bigger than Amara, but she is fast and agile which puts them on more even footing. This is so new for the she-wolf, she had never played with another shifter around her age. Shifting was a family activity and she loved it but she can’t remember the last time she had felt this light and young.

Their games are fierce but all in good fun and after hours of running and playing, they collapse in a heap on the forest floor. Lyam- being the annoying boy he is- plops his big ol' head on top of hers which she instantly jerks away from and narrows her eyes at his self satisfied look. The idiot finally settles down and they both relax, recuperating their spent energy.

The atmosphere is easy, peaceful. It is as if she had known Lyam all her life and they had been best friends from the cradle. There is something about him that is calming...uncomplicated. She doesn’t want to let go of that feeling just yet so she lays there, watching the setting sun cast rays through the trees and the soft sounds of chirping birds lulling her into contentment.

She is nearly dozing off when Lyam nudges her and tilts his head towards where she knows the pack house is. It finally registers that the sun has set. She stands and stretches before shaking out her fur and trotting to where she had hidden her clothes.

The shift back is just as effortless as the earlier one with how relaxed she feels. Sluggishly pulling on her clothes, Amara rolls her shoulders and waits for Lyam to find her. When he does, a wolfish grin breaks across his face. “You know, I’ve seen tumbleweeds less frizzy than your hair looks right now” he jokes and Amara’s hands fly to her hair to feel it poofy and messy. She narrows her eyes at him and punches his arm “jerk!” she retaliates.

They spend the whole walk back like that, sniping and trading friendly jabs, laughter bubbling out. As they bound up the steps to the back door, Amara can not help but think, Today was a pretty great day. Momentarily forgetting all of the confusing feelings that came with the moment she shared with Alpha Maddox in his office.

Dinner is being served so she and Lyam head to the large dining room. She is giggling at some stupid story he is telling when they step through the doorway. Her eyes somehow meet her parents who give her an inquisitive look and she shrugs, averting her eyes somewhere else as if she was getting caught doing something wrong which is ridiculous.

To her luck, her gaze goes from her parents straight to Maddox and it makes her heart skip a beat. His expression is unreadable as he looks between her and Lyam then where Lyam had at some point thrown his arm around her shoulders. The younger brother seems oblivious to the exchange, still chattering on. He slides his arm away to grab her hand and pull her towards a table on the opposite side of where Maddox is to introduce her to his friends.

Throughout the entire meal, she can feel eyes tracing a burning trail over her skin and she is so sure that it is Maddox that she refuses to turn her head to confirm it. The guilt of having pushed Maddox to the back of her head is eating at her. It shouldn’t! Nothing says she has to think about him every moment of the day...or at all. He is overwhelming and she has no idea what he even wants from her if anything at all.

The conflicting thoughts and emotions raging a civil war inside of her make it hard to be fully present and enjoy the company. She smiles and nods along but doesn’t try to insert herself into the conversation. A passive participant. Thankfully, they don’t know her enough to tell the difference and she hopes to get to actually befriend them some other time when she isn’t having an internal battle.

Amara eats just enough to not draw attention to herself then leaves with promises to hang out with them. Lyam surprises her by standing and giving her a hug which she returns but pulls back before it can linger. He gives her a questioning look but she just smiles and mimes being tired. His expression loses the worried edge and his signature smile is back, waving her away.

Someone sidles up beside her when she leaves the dining hall and she fights the urge t sigh irritably. “You and the younger Kahale seem very...friendly” her father comments and she can hear the unspoken question. “Daaad!” she whines and rolls her eyes. Ulrik raises his hand, pleading his innocence but she knows better.

“I went out for a run and he was there so we goofed around for a while. He’s a good guy and I think we’re becoming friends. Can you all stop giving me suspicious glances now?” she asks, feeling like a teenager again and instead of a woman who is about to turn twenty-one.

“We don’t mean anything by it Am. Honestly, I’m happy you can finally make friends you will not have to say goodbye to any time soon” Ulrik says sincerely, wrapping his arm around her shoulders and pulling her close. Amara softens into the embrace, feeling like an ass for snapping at him. The complete post-run relaxation was gone the moment she stepped foot into the dining room.

“I love you” is her whispered response that gets a kiss to her temple in response. The father-daughter pair continue in comfortable silence to their suite where Amara seeks solitude in her room. She sits on her bed, cradling her face with tears threatening to spill. The closed-off look Maddox gave her is now burned behind her eyelids. Why does she care so much? Why does everything simultaneously blur and focus when Maddox is around?

It’s like everyone knows something she doesn’t and all it has led to is her fumbling around blindly. Something inside is wanting to run and find Maddox. To know what he was thinking at that moment and feel what it is like to breathe as one with him again. She muffles a scream of frustration as she fights those kinds of thoughts.

He is not hers, regardless of whatever happened that day. That statement hurts like shards of ice slicing through her heart but she needs to be realistic with herself. She strips without putting anything else on and cocoons herself in the blanket before willing herself to sleep and forget. Her aching heart refuses to listen.