"Look Amanda," I said. "The police are stopping the search. They said they haven't found a trace and it's been 5 days now." Amanda looked at me with such malice and hatred that I felt a chill running down my spine. "So you just want to stop the search now? I mean, it's only our daughter. She's out there, frightened, and you just want to stop the search?" I felt as if I had been punched in the gut. Tears were welling up, but I managed to reply:"don't even say that. Of course I want them to continue the search. But I'm not in charge of the police. Please honey, don't see me as the enemy. I love you. I love Charlene." "Don't speak her name," she yelled. "you just see the search as an inconvenience to you. Just leave me be." I did as she asked, going out of the bedroom and into the living room of our cabin. I sat down in the couch, hands on face, and cried over the loss of our daughter, and now, my estranged wife.

That night, I decided to sleep on the couch. I heard Amanda sobbing throughout the night. Even though I wanted to comfort her, I felt she needed space. The next morning, I awoke tired and stiff from a bad spell of sleep. I decided to make some breakfast, eggs and bacon, and brought it up to her. "Here darling. I made breakfast," I said. She looked at me with puffy, red eyes. "Is that all you can think of? When our daughter is somewhere out there, scared out of her life?" I sighed. "Look, it won't do her any good if we stop our lives, stop taking care of ourselves. You need to eat." She looked away, tears welling up. The day continued like that, me trying to get any contact to Amanda, and her turning down my attempts. It made me sadder each time, as I really wanted to connect with her again. Needed to connect with her. After all, she was my wife, and I wanted to help her in her situation, as well as help myself. I couldn't go through all of this alone. And I was sure she couldn't either. I had to make some sort of breakthrough. The day went on like that. Me trying to do anything to make a connection with Amanda, and her either ignoring me completely or getting aggressive towards me. Each time I failed, it felt we were gliding farther and farther from each other. Each time felt as if my heart was being stomped on. I felt worse and worse.

As the day faded into evening, I decided to make dinner for us. I helped Amanda down to the dining room, and sat her in her chair. I sat down in my seat and started eating. A bit into the meal, I glanced at her, checking how she was doing. She was poking her fork at the meal listlessly, her stare shifting from the meal to the window, then back to the meal, and letting out a long, sad sigh. It pained me to see her like this. Not her normal, cheerful self. But then again, I was a total mess inside. But I felt I had to stay strong, for the both of us. Wouldn't do any good if we both just crumbled down and stopped functioning out here, in the middle of the woods. I was also angry, on top on all the sadness. Angry that the cops and park rangers decided that it would be too dangerous to continue the search. There had been a massive rain, about a week ago. There had been some flooding, and the rangers had said that conditions were bad. Therefore the search would be called off for now. I had shouted at them, pleaded with them, but to no avail. The ranger had said that he understood me, but he couldn't risk the lives of the search party. It made me angry that they could just wave off the life of a 4 year old like that. Such an inconvenience to search for her. And eventually I broke down in tears. Amanda looked at me, and started crying too.

The next day we just sat in the dining room, looking at each other, then looking out the window, all in silence. We both knew how each other felt. We also knew we couldn't just go out and search on our own. For starters, we didn't really know the woods. We could easily get lost in there if we went in too far. Secondly, we weren't equipped for a long stretch in the woods, and our clothing wasn't really helpful against the elements. We probably wouldn't survive for long if we got lost. No need for that, no matter the circumstances. I tried several times to talk to her. Sometimes she acknowledges me, other times she just stared out the window, or stared right at me, or right past me. She never really answered. Then again, it was hard to make small talk when this had happened. And I didn't know what to talk to her about. The incident was weighing heavily upon both of us. And again, the day seemed to fade away like a dream you can't really remember. I was a bit surprised when I realized it had turned dark outside. I stood up, and was going to prepare dinner. Then I thought I heard Charlene's voice coming from the woods. "Mommy? Daddy? I'm scared," followed by a... a short, muffled scream is the best I can describe it. Now I was starting to hear things. I looked at Amanda, and saw that her eyes were wide open, as well as her mouth. Had she heard it too? We looked at each other in stunned silence. Then we heard it again. "Mommy? Daddy ? I'm scared," followed by that muffled scream. But there was something wrong. I just couldn't put my finger on it, but there was something at the back of my mind warning me against this. Amanda shouted "Charlene!" and lept up. She didn't even put on shoes, she just ran outside. I tried to call her, to stop her, but she was gone in an instant. I ran after her, hoping she would come to her senses. "Amanda," I yelled. I saw where she ran into the woods, darting past trees and stumps. I ran after her as fast as I could. She kept darting out of my sight, but I yelled at her. "Amanda, please stop." As I ran into a small clearing, I could see Amanda there, looking in each direction. "Honey, please," I said. "We don't know where she is. It won't help her if we also get lost in here." She looked at me with such fury that I thought for a second she hated me. "Well, then go back to the cabin. Go back and just leave our daughter out here in the woods. You don't care about her. You don't even care about me." The force of those words, the angry tone, and the hatred in her eyes. The words, and our current situation were too much for me. I could feel the tears well up in my eyes. I covered my face in my hands, and cried a bit. "Don't even suggest that honey. You two are my world," I said. As I removed my hands from my face I realized Amanda was gone. "Amanda," I screamed, now getting a bit scared. Where had she gone? "Amanda," I screamed again, more urgently. I heard some rustling of leaves to my right. I didn't think, I just sprinted there, calling out to Amanda every few seconds.

It was hard to navigate the woods in the dark. I called out to Amanda, then tried to listen to any sounds, from either Amanda or Charlene. After a few minutes, I heard something behind me. "Mommy? Daddy? I'm scared," but it was not Charlene's voice. It sounded like several voices at once. A cold chill ran down my spine. What on earth could that be? Then, to my left I heard Amanda's voice. "Oh honey, I've missed you so much. Come to mommy," followed by a blood-curdling scream. "Amanda," I yelled as I ran towards the sound. Branches flew by as I hurried towards where I had heard Amanda scream. "What's going on in these woods," I thought as I ran. Suddenly, I tripped over something. I fell down hard, knocking my forehead. I saw stars as I lay on the ground, wondering what had happened. Then, as my vision started to clear, I realized I had tripped over a person. A person wearing what seemed to be Amanda's clothing. Although it was ripped in places. And there was blood. Oh god, there was so much blood. I screamed as I realized what I was seeing. It was Amanda. Or what was left of her. Her torso had been cut open, from the neck down to her hip. Most of her innards were gone. And her face. Oh god, her beautiful face. The eyes were gone. The mouth was open in a terrified scream. I hugged her, crying, screaming her name. The pain was unbearable. Then I heard it. Rustling of leaves. Behind me. And Amanda's voice, saying:"Oh honey, I've missed you so much. Come to mommy."

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