The fall air was refreshing, the weather has finally cooled down and the house was now littered with artificial pumpkins and orange leaves. Anastasia takes fall very seriously apparently. But fall season also means Penelope's birthday is soon. Tomorrow to be exact.

My sweet baby is turning 5 years old, a big birthday in itself. This is Penelope's first birthday without Danielle, so it was a lot bigger for us than any regular birthday. Danielle died a little before Christmas, it was a rough Christmas season to say the least.

We were currently running down the plans for Pen's birthday party tomorrow, she was spitting out ideas to Anastasia who was jotting down every crazy request Penelope spat out.

"Unicorns! And aliens! And a chocolate fountain!" Penelope shouted out causing both Anastasia and I to laugh.

"Well, I think we are going to have one crazy party tomorrow." Anastasia pinched Penelope's cheeks sliding the notebook in my direction. "I'm gonna go check on Danny, keep her occupied." She kissed the top of my head before scurrying into the hallway.

"Are you excited, lovebug? You're turning five!" I grinned at her with wide eyes. She nodded her head quickly.

"Can we invite grandma?" She raised her eyebrows at me. I sat for a moment to think, of course we should invite Monica to the party but I couldn't help but dread the thought of her being there. The last time she was over, things didn't exactly go smoothly. I'm dating Anastasia now, if she can't accept that, I know she'll cause a scene.

"Of course, we'll invite grandma. No biggie." I answered her finally.

"What about mama and auntie Gem?" She asked again. I grinned at her, little did she know they were already on a plane here.

"I'm not sure love, they're very far away remember? But I'm sure we can give them a call." I said, excited for her reaction tomorrow when they walk through the front door.

"Daddy.. Can we see Mommy tomorrow? For my birthday?" I was taken aback by her request, I was already planning on us going to Danielle's grave tomorrow but to hear Pen ask me made me a bit emotional.

"Of course. We can go see mommy whenever you want, Penelope." I held her small hand in my own. "It's your first birthday without her.. But you know she's looking down at us right now and I know she's in awe of how beautiful and smart you are." I said, she crawled into my lap and hugged me tightly.

"I miss her." She said simply. My heart broke at the sound of his voice cracking slightly.

"I know, Pen.. Me too." I couldn't help but stop the tears from forming in my eyes. I usually try to hide my pain and hurt from the kids, wanting to be strong for the family. But I knew that in order for all us to grow from this we have to deal with it together.

"Can I call Anastasia mommy?" Pen's voice broke me away from my thoughts and I had to do a double take with what she just asked. "Danny calls her Mama.. And I love her. She loves me. You love her too, right?" Pen continued to talk. A smile broke out onto my face, tears now falling down my cheeks.

"If you're comfortable with it, I'm sure she'd love for you to call her that. She loves you and Danny so much. And you're right, I love her too. So much." I explained to her. "She may not be your birth mom, but she loves you just the same, I know it." I stroked her hair softly.

"Is everything okay?" Anastasia walked back into the kitchen, Danny in her arms and a very clear concerned look on her face. I chuckled and wiped away my tears quickly.

"Pen has something to ask you." I lifted Pen off my lap and placed her on her feet, she then shyly walked towards Anastasia who knelt down to her knees so she could get on Penelope's level. Penelope turned her head to me hesitantly and I gave her two thumbs up to let her know it was okay.

"What is it Pen?" Anastasia asked softly, her hand grabbing onto Penelope's.

"Um.. Is- is it okay if I call you m-mom?" Penelopes voice was soft, barely above a whisper. The gasp that left Anastasia mouth was audible, her eyes widening at her question. Instantly her eyes met my teary ones, clearly shocked. The smile never left my face and I gave Anastasia a small nod.

Her eyes left mine quickly and she put all of her focus on Penelope. Ana's eyes became glossed over as she pulled Pen into her arms. She held her tightly, letting the tears roll down her cheeks.

"Pen.." Anastasia started to speak, pulling away from Penelope but placing her hand softly on Pen's cheek. "You are more than welcomed to call me Mom.. But only if you want to." Anastasia answered. "I love you very dearly, Penelope."

After sitting the kids down at the table for their snack, Anastasia pulled me into the living room. Probably to talk about what just happened with Penelope.

But before she could even mutter a word I brought my lips onto hers, cupping her face in my hands. I felt her hand find it's way to the nape of my neck, playing with the ends of my hair.

"Before you say anything, she asked me. I didn't tell her to do that." I breathed out as I pulled away from her face. "That was entirely her." I smiled, my forehead never leaving hers. Her face mirrored mine, the same wide toothy grin displayed on her own face.

"I just.." She closed her eyes and a sigh left her lips as she pulled her head away from me. "As happy and touched as I am that she wants to call me mom.. I can't help but feel.." She stopped talking and ran her hand through her hair.

"Guilty." I finished her sentence for her, a part of me knowing this would happen as soon as Penelope asked me. She nodded her head and sighed again before making eye contact with me again.

"I just- I can't help but feel like I don't deserve it. Any of this really. I don't want Penelope to think I'm just filling in this role as her mother, I don't want her to think I'm replacing Danielle." Her face scrunched slightly as she spoke. No matter how many times I've tried to reassure her that she's not a replacement, that she truly belongs in this family, not just to fill in a role, she always doubted herself and her place in this home.

"Ana-" I said, grabbing a hold of her hands, stilling her pacing. "I promise you. You are by no means a replacement for anyone. It took me months to even consider finding love again, hell I wasn't even looking for love when I found you. You belong here in this family." I placed a kiss on her forehead, she sighed and nodded her head, accepting my answer.

"I gotta call Monica and see if she'll come tomorrow, gotta let her know that we're dating now and if she has a problem with that then she's not welcome to come." I pulled out my phone from my pocket and Anastasia scrunched her nose at the sound of Monica's name but she nodded and went back to the kitchen to the kids.

The phone call was far from smooth. The words that left Monica's mouth were far from decent, she didn't fail to let me know how inappropriate and stupid I was being with this decision.

Once I told her she wouldn't be allowed into our home if she disrespected Ana, she finally let up. Still not happy with my decision but she loves her grandkids too much to let her opinion keep her from seeing them. I know she comes from a place of love but frankly, her opinion has no control over my life and my kids and I was sure to tell her that.

~~~

The next day we got up super early, we made an entire breakfast for Penelope. The table was filled with all her favorite fruits and of course heart shaped pancakes.

"Happy Birthday Penelope!" Anastasia smiled widely at us as we walked into the kitchen. Penelope let out a shriek of joy as she ran to the table.

"Thank you thank you thank you!!!" She screamed, instantly putting different foods on her plate.

We ate together as a family, enjoying each other's company. Pen was excited for her party tonight, and I couldn't help but smile at my little girl. The years pass by as if they're days, way too quickly. She's grown up so much and I can't help but feel like the days are slipping away from me.

"Daddy, are we still gonna see mommy?" Pen asked me with a hopeful smile.

"Of course, hon. We'll head out as soon as you're done eating." I pointed to her plate that was half filled with food.

"I can stay here and get prepare for the party." Anastasia spoke softly from beside me. She had a smile on her face as she continued to eat her strawberries.

"Oh.. I was actually hoping that you would come with us?" I asked her, raising an eyebrow in hopes that she would agree. "I'd really love for her to meet you." I smiled. Her face didn't change, I couldn't quite guess what she was thinking or feeling at this moment. A sigh of relief fell from my lips as she smiled and nodded her head.

"I'd love to meet her." She nodded.

And so after we cleaned up the kitchen from the messy breakfast we all climbed into my car. The drive to the cemetery was loud and happy, very different from the previous times we've gone to see Danielle. This time we weren't consumed and overwhelmed with sadness and silence. Instead we were joyful and excited to see Danielle and talk to her.

Penelope was in charge of the music today, as soon as a song would end she would immediately shout out another song she wanted to listen to and Anastasia would play it off her phone.

"We're here!" Penelope shouted once I parked the car. I grabbed the bouquet of flowers from the backseat as Anastasia got the kids out of their car seats.

It was quiet at the cemetery, only the sounds of insects and the wind filling the large space. Penelope held onto my hand as we walked, Anastasia and Danny following close behind.

It's been two months since I've last come to see Dani, I mentally scolded myself for not making time to see her more often. I took a deep breathe as we approached her grave, stopping in my tracks when we stood directly in front of it.

Nobody said anything for a few seconds, just stood in silence. I knelt down and placed the vase in front of her gravestone, dusting off the dirt that tainted the stone. I placed my forehead on the now clean spot and took another deep breathe.

"Hey Dani.." I spoke softly, so nobody could hear me. "I'm sorry I haven't come to visit sooner." My voice was shaken as I spoke softly. "I miss you so much." I choked out, trying my best to hold back my tears. With one last deep breathe I shook off my nerves and stepped back.

"It's Penelope's birthday today, but you already knew that." I chuckled softly. I pushed Pen gently towards the stone.

Pen placed her small hand on top of Danielle's name.

"Hi mommy!" She said happily. "It's my birthday! I'm five!" Penelope started to speak, soon our ears were filled with Penelope ranting to her Danielle about anything and everything, filling her in on all the details of her life since we've last come.

"Oh and Anastasia is here too!" Penelope stopped her rambling and turned to face us. I looked behind me to see Ana staring at Pen lovingly. I gave Anastasia a smile, taking Danny from her arms before guiding her to where Pen sat on the grass.

"Danielle.. you are the first woman I have ever fell in love with. You were the first woman to give me the gift of true joy. True happiness. You've blessed me with so many memories. So much love. Most importantly you have blessed me with these two beautiful kids. As much as I wanted to sulk and wallow in my pain, I knew you'd want me to move on one day." I said, my eyes shifted from the kids to Danielles name. "I will never fully move on or let go of you Danielle. But I've finally found my happiness again.." I let myself smile as I spoke.

"This is Anastasia." I glanced at Anastasia who had glossy eyes. "She's my girlfriend." I chuckled, the words felt odd to say out loud to Dani. "She's incredible. You'd love her. She's super caring, super loving, to me but most importantly to the kids. God, Danielle she's so good with the kids." I grinned. "Our story ended too soon.. but I know that you're watching over us now. I hope you're happy. I hope you're proud of us." I felt Ana's hand on my shoulder, her thumb stroking it softly as a way to provide any sort of comfort to me.

"I promise to never stop reminding the kids who were. How you were the most vibrant and genuine person I've ever met. I'll never stop telling them how beautiful you were." There were tears falling down my face but the smile on my face was genuine joy. When I think of Dani, I no longer think of the pain, I'm no longer saddened by her death but now joyful for the wonderful life she lived.

"I promise you they'll never forget who you are to them. Even as young as they are. Dani we miss you so much." A hiccup left my mouth as I sucked in a deep breathe, getting choked up. I closed my eyes for a moment, a peaceful silence settling in the air.

She coughed slightly to clear her throat before turning her gaze back onto the gravestone.

"Hi Danielle." Her voice was timid as she spoke. "I was only a few years older than Penelope when I lost my mom. I don't remember a lot of that part of my life, but I remember a lot of pain." Anastasia voice was scratchy as she spoke. "I felt alone, I had nobody to comfort me, to teach me how to mourn in a healthy way. My dad was abusive.. definitely didn't win any dad of the year awards." She chuckled softly before taking a glance at me.

"But I can whole heartedly say that Penelope didn't have to go through what I went through. Harrys such a good man and an even better dad." Ana smiled. "Your kids.. they're amazing. You have truly created such beautiful angels. Penelope talks about you all the time, shares stories of how she used to help you bake cookies or all the times you taught her new things. She loves you so much, and I know she would give anything to be able to spend one more minute with you." Anastasia spoke softly, Penelope crawled onto her lap as she spoke.

"And Danny is crazy." She laughed. "He's walking now, he loves to babble. Nothing he says makes any sense but he loves to talk. He's got a wild personality, no doubt from his father." Anastasia spoke so naturally to Dani, like she's known her for years. "I haven't known your family for very long, but the impact that they've made on me is resounding. I have so much respect for you Danielle. I'm saddened that we never got to meet, but I do hope that you can trust me." Anastasia placed her hand on the stone. "You've got such a beautiful family, and I am forever grateful for you and the life that you lived. What Harry said is true.. he never fails to remind them of their wonderful mother. I've never met you, but it feels like I have from how often and how loving Harry speaks of you." She finished. Leaning back on her two hands.

The tears from the eyes were falling at a steady flow by now, my nose getting clogged with snot. I stared at Ana, taking in this sweet moment.

It's true, I never thought I'd find love again after Danielle died. I thought that was it for me, I gave every ounce of love I had into her and when she died.. I had nothing. Until Anastasia came into my life.

Slowly but surely, she gave me pieces of love that I thought I would never have again, for the first time since Dani died I felt complete.

There's no doubt in my mind that Anastasia was the love of my life. There's no doubt in my mind that one day she'd take my last name.