"Why isn't he picking up..?" I pouted to myself, glancing at woncat running around in circles after I threw her a piece of her favorite snack, "How spoiled you are..." The corners of my lips turned upwards, as I was letting out a sigh afterwards.

Was he already tired of me?

My smile slowly fell again, as I let my tired body drop backwards onto the thin mattress placed on the ground.

It wasn't late yet. And I'm sure he was too busy to listen to my sob stories.

Right in that moment, when I was just about to give up, my phone rang, startling both me and the little cat next to me as I sat up almost immediately.

The smile on my face slowly returned.

I tilted my head in confusion, still smiling at how silken Jungwon's voice sounded. I was surprised every time,

I added right away,

I could hear him attempt to suppress his laughter on the other side of the phone, causing me to chuckle,

Realization hit me. I nodded, as if he could see me,

I smiled gratefully, feeling warmth spread inside my whole body.

There was a playful smirk on my face.

Just when I opened my mouth to reply, Jungwon continued.

How considerate.

Clearing my throat, I closed my eyes, letting the memories take over me.

There was this bitter taste on my tongue whenever I thought about it.

My breath stopped at the memory of her face,

The room I was in was quiet. Except for my own flat voice there was not a single trace of another human being here. It was cold.

I felt cold.

But nevertheless I told him everything. Not leaving out a detail.

I looked down, my hand clenching around my phone,

Jungwon stayed quiet on the other side of the phone, while I continued.

My older sister. She had excellent grades and many genuine friends. Her friends were as nice as her.

No wonder, she had always been my parent's favorite daughter among the two of us.

I sighed, too tired to cry. I've cried about this so many times now. I was done.

I stopped for a moment, looking over to my cat who was already sleeping soundly in my lap.

I patted her head,

I didn't know exactly why I did it.

Why I decided to be a terrible person.

Maybe it was because I wanted everyone to stop comparing me with my older sister. Especially my parents.

But despite our differences, we matched each other. We still loved each other.

Well...that was till she changed.

One day, she woke up and decided to stop being my older sister. She avoided me every time I tried to talk to her. She started to be quiet. Isolated.

And I was still young.

Not a child anymore, but I was confused and didn't understand what was going on. She didn't bring her friends over anymore and started ignoring my parents.

Everything changed.

I was sure it was because she was growing up faster than I was. Because she was ashamed of me, because of how bad I was at school. I wasn't her cute little sister anymore.

I explained, resting my heavy head on my knees, closing my eyes again,

My parents did show me affection.

Enough to keep me alive for a while.

But seeing how different they treated me compared to my sister started to sicken me. It made me feel like all of it was artificial.

They didn't love me. They had to.

My parents had to love me.

My voice sounded strange, as if it didn't belong to me. The lump in my throat grew, my tears flowed,

I ignored Jungwon's voice, his desolating words and the blood in the corner of my mouth after I had bitten my lips a little too hard.

She's all I needed.

My voice broke as I tried to play it cool by chuckling,

An accident. That's what they registered it as.

Her body was never found, but next to the river were her clothes, including her friends' clothes and the car they used to travel.

From one day to another, she was gone.

Just like that.

My voice was trembling,

I closed my eyes to remember the letters messily written on that very piece of paper.

"It was you. Because of you I died a long time ago.

I can't live like this anymore, Ji. How can I?

I'm so young. It's just not fair. Why did you have to ruin my life? to: Mom and Dad, i'm sorry none of this is your fault.

I love you."

Of course, I asked myself what I did for my older sister to say such cruel words. To this day, I didn't understand. What did I do so wrong?

Was it because I tried on her clothes? Her ripped jeans and dresses? Her earrings and jewelry, every time she was out with her friends?

Because I accidentally burnt myself when I used her curling iron to look like her?

Because I smudged her eyeliner? Her mascara and lipstick?

Because I wanted to be just like her?

Was it that wrong?

I couldn't bring myself to tell my parents about the message she left. Just imagine how heartbroken they would be to find out that their perfect daughter wanted to die.

How devastated they would be to find out that their perfect daughter was struggling.

How both of their daughters were struggling.

And they didn't know the whole entire time.

I laughed, my head hitting the white wall behind me,

For a moment it was quiet, except for my sniffles and ugly crying, Jungwon didn't say anything.

I stopped for a moment. That's when it hit me, as my eyes widened.

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(a/n: I hope the chapter layout isn't too confusing with the dialogue and stuff😞😞 whenever the font is bold it represents the dialogue via call!!

also the ending has been decided everyone😍😍 please look forward to it)