Instead of the warm sensation of all of your blood leaking out of your neck, you were greeted with a warm sensation on your lips. Illumi's tears continued to fall as you both deepened the kiss. He moved to sit on the bed with you, wrapping his hands in your messy hair.

After a minute had passed, he pulled back.

"I promise that I will only be with you. No more Hisoka. No one else. We'll get married and I'll never try to kill you again. But promise me you'll do the same."

You looked at him, smiled slightly and then delivered a slap so hard that he fell on the floor.

"Fuck you for putting me through that. But fine. I promise."

Illumi sat on the ground, stunned. He wasn't sure what he had expected, but this was certainly a good outcome. He put his head in his hands and chuckled a little. Standing up, he wiped his tears and his nose.

You patted the bed, inviting him over.

"You know, you can be pretty scary, Illu."

"Yeah, I'm sorry YN. I've been so confused. I haven't known what to feel."

"There's not really any excuse for almost killing me."

"I suppose you're right. I'm just glad to hear you say my name again. It's like this knot in my body unraveled. Being with anyone else... It hasn't felt right."

"I'm still angry with you, you know. I want you to take the needle out of Killua."

"I... can't. If my father found out that I did that, he'd probably kill me."

You sighed. You knew Illumi was scared of his parents, but at least there was some foundation of truth. This was a pretty serious offense.

"What happens when Killua finds out you put it there?"

"He hates me even more than he does now."

"Can you accept that?"

"Probably not. But until I'm the oldest Zoldyck, I can't tell him anything. It's so fucking hard, YN. How do you do it?"

"I just enjoy the moments I do have. I enjoy when I take care of Killua. I enjoy when I get to spend time with Kalluto. And I enjoy kissing you."

"I too, enjoy kissing you."

You moved out of your covers and wrapped your arms and legs around Illumi's torso and leaned over to kiss his shoulder.

"Why was it so hard to just sincerely apologize."

"I'm... not sure. I was so angry with you. I know I have much more to apologize for, but it really hurt to hear you call me those names. Being a monster... being cold and heartless... that's my worst fear."

"Well, you certainly could have done more to avoid that outcome."

"What do you mean?" He looked at you rather blankly.

You laughed a little bit. This was typical Illumi. It was really hard for him to think beyond his own upbringing. But he was a world away from what he was when you first met him.

"Remember when you spent those weeks running around trying to measure my stomach?" You lightened the mood a little.

"Remember when you threw up on me?" He countered.

"Remember when we had our first kiss?" You asked.

"I'm not so sure... You'll have to remind me." You looked over at him and saw the smallest hint of a smile.

"Oh I'll do more than remind you of our first kiss." And you tackled him to the bed, engaging in a deep, long kiss, as he ran his hands through your hair.

"Can you ever truly forgive me, YN?" Illumi murmured in your ear as you moved to kiss his neck.

"I think I might be able to... If you can love me better than you ever have." You whispered in his ear. It was going to be a long night.