the past few hours have been insane.

twitter has blown up.

instagram has blown up.

there are clips all over youtube.

my name is being thrown around everywhere.

so what do i do? naturally i decide to open twitter to see the internet blowing up in action.

i gasp. it's crazier than i thought.

talerie, valerie, tommy, and they're dating are all trending on twitter somehow.

i check my mentions and see a tweet that makes me smile.

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Austin @AustinOnTwitter: @tommyinnit @valeriedavis I take full credit for making #talerie happen.

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TommyInnit @tommyinnit: shut up AustinShow

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valerie :) @valeriedavis: you get partial credit :)

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Austin @AustinOnTwitter: I can already see who the nice one in the couple is...

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TommyInnit @tommyinnit: you'd be surprised

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"DINNER IS READY!" wilbur calls from the bottom of the stairs. i start to go down the stairs until i feel my phone vibrating in my pocket. i check to see who's calling.

incoming call: lindsay green♥

oh crap.

"uhhh... give me a second!" i shout from the top of the stairs. i run back to my room and close the door, accepting the call.

"lindsay?" i barely whisper.

"valerie?" she says.

"hi..."

"do you just not tell me anything anymore?"

i grimace. i should've known this call was coming. it was long overdue.

"linds, i-"

"i get it, you're hanging out with all these huge streamers, so you think you're the shit now or something?"

"i don't think that at all-"

"first you don't tell me you're auditioning for love or host. you win. and i'm happy for you! but then you leave for fucking BRIGHTON to hang out with tommy and all these other streamers? and i find out through your MOM? how do you think i felt when i went to your house to hang out and she says that you're ALL THE WAY ACROSS THE WORLD? but it doesn't end there! turns out you and tommy are DATING? and i found out through TWITTER? i thought we were friends, val!"

"we are. i'm sorry, but-"

"clearly we aren't if-"

"for god's sake, can you not cut me off for just a second so i can explain?!"

the line goes quiet.

"thank you. i know i should've told you. i didn't think about it. i'm sorry. it was all so sudden, it happened so quickly. i barely had time to process it myself, let alone tell anyone."

"you had time to tell all of twitter." i sigh.

"i know, but that's different. i can say one thing on twitter and word spreads quickly. barely any part of my life is private anymore."

"it doesn't matter," lindsay says. i stay quiet for a moment.

"what do you want me to say?" i ask.

"the truth."

"what truth?!"

"about everything."

"you're asking for a lot."

"because i thought we were best friends? and best friends tell each other everything?"

i click my tongue. i know she has a point. but we've grown apart this past week. and that's partially my fault for not calling her, but she never made an effort to speak to me either.

"you haven't even texted me this past week," i say. "and besides, i've been around people this past week. i haven't been on my phone much at ALL. only to post on twitter occasionally. other than that i've been hanging out with my friends." lindsay scoffs.

"your friends," she repeats. i raise my eyebrows.

"yeah. my friends," i say in an annoyed tone.

"those people aren't your friends, valerie." i almost laugh.

"do you hear yourself?"

"do YOU hear YOURSELF? you're calling these twenty year olds your friends. you're calling these streamers with millions of fans your friends. they would drop you INSTANTLY given the opportunity."

"are you serious?" i say, trying to keep myself together. "did you forget that one of them is my BOYFRIEND?"

"he'd drop you instantly, too."

"what the hell are you-"

"we've been friends for a long time, valerie. and i've stuck by your side through everything. but now you're forgetting about me the second some streamer lays his eyes on you?!"

"keep in mind that you're the one that told me about the love or host."

"and i wish i didn't!"

"and i'm glad you did! that was just about the best decision i've ever made, auditioning for that love or host. that's what led to everything. i'm just about the happiest i've ever been. and if you were really my friend like you say you are, you'd be happy for me."

lindsay sighs, and i can hear her sniffling on the other end of the call.

is she crying?

"i'm sorry if that was harsh, but-"

"no," lindsay cuts me off. "i think we both need some time to think."

"i'll give you space if that's what you want," i say calmly. lindsay scoffs.

"as if you haven't been doing that for the past week."

"are you serious? we're still doing this?"

"fine. whatever. i gotta go. hopefully we can talk soon. see ya." lindsay hangs up. i lean against my door and try to keep the tears from falling.

i should've made more of an attempt to talk to her, but the things she said stung. telling me my friends were going to drop me? telling me my boyfriend was going to drop me?

i feel both angry and upset at the same time.

i hear a knock at my door. i try my best to pull myself together quickly.

"yeah?" i say, voice breaking.

"wilbur's wondering where you are- are you okay?" tommy asks. i open the door and tears spill from my eyes. "oh my god, no. valerie... what's wrong?" tommy puts his arms around me and allows me to cry.

"my friend... i don't even know if she's my friend anymore... just-" i say through gasps.

"let's stay up here for a bit. want me to bring dinner up?" i nod. "alright, give me like, twenty seconds. i'll be back." tommy runs downstairs. i hear him and wilbur exchange a few words, and he hurries back to my room. he hands me my plate of spaghetti and puts his plate in front of him. we sit on the floor and eat in silence.

"niki made brownies," he says, opening a napkin, revealing two brownies. "you can have mine too."

"i don't want to steal your brownie," i say, wiping my eyes and laughing.

"i want you to steal it!" i smile and shake my head. "you're going to take it, val. brownies take away your frownies." i laugh.

"what did you just say?" i ask, still laughing.

"brownies take away your frownies!" tommy smiles.

"i like that. a lot."

we finish eating and i go to take a shower. i feel a lot better after tommy came upstairs to eat and talk with me. he's still sitting in my room, so i try to make my shower quick.

when i return to the room, i start playing a random playlist i find on spotify. i turn the volume down to set it as background music while tommy and i talk.

we end up watching a netflix movie on my laptop. i check the time in the corner of my laptop and see that it's 12:18 am.

"it's getting a little late," i whisper. "maybe we should-"

i look down to see tommy already asleep. one of his arms is wrapped tightly around my stomach and his cheek is resting against my shoulder. i smile as i close the laptop, trying to move as little as possible. i settle in next to him and smile as i fall asleep, listening to the lyrics playing from my phone.

i never knew

you could hold moonlight in your hands

till the night i held you.