the next morning is really slow. which is funny, considering how beautiful of a day it is. greatly contrasting to yesterday, all the snow has melted and the sun is shining brightly. it's even somewhat warm.

"can we do something?" karl asks, laying down on the couch, scrolling through twitter. "i'm BORED!"

"vouch," i say.

"vouch," toby says.

"vouch," everyone repeats.

"okay cool, we're all bored, so... what are we gonna do?" wilbur asks. everyone shrugs and he sighs. "come on guys, help me out!"

"ooh, i know!" niki says. everyone eagerly turns to her. "lets go to a park! there's a really pretty park not that far away, honestly it's really beautiful, there are so many flowers and trees, and... i'm getting off track. but let's pack a picnic and eat lunch there!" everyone nods enthusiastically.

"that's a great idea, niki!" clay says. she beams proudly. "i'm gonna go change and then we can leave at... 11:30?" everyone agrees and clay wanders off.

"i'm gonna change, too," tommy whispers in my ears. i nod. he ruffles my hair, squeezes my hand, and gets up. my face turns beet red.

how much longer can i keep this up?

i sigh and look around, spotting niki on her phone in the kitchen. without thinking, i get up and walk to her, tapping her shoulder. she snaps her head around and her eyes lock with mine.

"val? are you okay?" niki asks. i nod.

"just wanted to talk, if that's okay?" i ask.

"yeah of course, what do you need?"

"uhh... can we go somewhere more private?" i ask, motioning my head towards the number of potential listeners in the living room. niki's mouth forms an "oh" shape and she nods, leading me to her room. she sits on the side of her bed and pats down at a spot next to her, hinting at me to sit with her. i oblige and she puts her arm around me.

"what's up?" she asks. "nothing bad, right?"

"i wouldn't call it bad. well, okay, maybe a little bad, but..." i start. i fidget with my fingers, playing with the plastic ring on my finger that tommy and i won at the arcade.

"i'm not here to judge," niki assures me. i sigh, nod, and lean my head on her shoulder.

"have you ever..." i click my tongue, looking for the right words. "have you ever liked someone a lot, i don't know if i should say love, but you definitely liked him as more than just a friend, but you couldn't do anything about it because he's one of your best friends and you guys are really close, but all of a sudden you just started falling for him without even realizing it, and then before you knew it, boom, you had a crush on him, but you can't tell him because you don't want to fuck everything up?"

"val, oh my god, hold on... what?" niki says, struggling to take in everything i said.

"it's tommy," i say. she lets out a long "ohh," though she hardly sounds surprised.

"what do i do, niki?" i ask. "he doesn't like me that way. i know he doesn't. there's no way he does."

"what makes you so sure?"

"because... for one he left me that night. we were together one night and the next morning he was gone and went to his room." niki bites her lip in thought. she looks as if she knows something i don't.

"you're hiding something from me. oh god, it's bad isn't it?" i sit up and look at her frantically. "what do i do? i can't like him like this, oh god, i-"

"val! no! it's okay!" niki exclaims, putting a hand on my shoulder. "why are you so scared about telling tommy how i feel? just because of that one incident?"

"because if i tell him and he doesn't like me back, our friendship is ruined. and i don't want to ruin what we have."

"what makes you so sure it'd ruin everything? despite tommy's online persona, he's actually pretty mature when he needs to be. very understanding and caring. and of course you're all of those things, too. i think you could both move past it if he hypothetically didn't like you. but you don't have to worry about that happening."

"huh?"

"oh, uh, nothing. sorry. i just don't think you should worry. you guys will be fine. i highly recommend you tell him you like him. that will be what's best." niki winks.

"what if it's not what's best, though? what if that's the worst thing i can possibly do in this situation?" i ask, bringing a hand to my mouth to bite my nails. niki moves my hand down before my nail can reach my teeth.

"and what if it's not? what if it's the best thing you can do in this situation?" niki asks me with a bright smile. she moves her pink hair out of her face and touches my cheek to force me to look at her. "do you see what the rest of us in this house see? we're all watching you guys get closer and closer just WAITING for the day you two admit you like each other. he picked you on that love or host for a reason! how many days of this trip do you have left, four? that's four days left of seeing tommy physically until you have to go home and you won't see any of us in person for lord knows how long! this is your chance!"

"do you really think so?" i ask. niki nods with a big smile.

"absolutely! trust me, this is definitely what's best. tell him as soon as possible." i clear my throat and nod.

"thank you, niki. i needed this," i say. she pulls me into a warm hug.

"of course, valerie."