Bawat galaw at kilos ko ay kontrolado. Hindi ko alam kung bakit pakiramdam ko limitado lang ang bawat ikikilos. Marahil epekto ito ng presensya ni Ricci.

Kasalukuyang nagluluto ako ng fries. I'm craving for this, that's why. Ricci insisted na siya daw ang magluto pero I declined. Kaya naman kasama ko siya dito sa kusina, pinapanuod ako na para bang nanunuod siya ng cooking show.

"Do you feel better now?" basag niya sa katahimikan and I just nodded to him and smiled.

"That's good. Pero magpahinga ka pa din. Mamaya, I'll cook for our lunch and that's final." Seryoso at may diin niyang sabi. Kaya hindi na ako kumontra.

"You know how to cook?" I asked with amusement habang nakatalikod ako sa kanya at abala sa pagpiprito.

"Oo naman!" Mabilis na sagot niya. "Remember that I and my brothers are living separately with my parents? That is why."

I turned off the stove when I'm done frying.

"Really huh?" I glanced at him before turning back on my doings. I'm preparing our drinks. "At ano naman ang kaya mong lutuin? Prito? Haha! Just kidding!"

Hindi siya sumagot o tumawa man lang. Did I offended him? I was about to turn my body to him when a sudden arms snaked on my waist. My body tensed by his touched. I can't move even a bit.

"If you want to taste all the foods I can cook, I should be here, always." He whispered to my ears, stressing the word always. I like that idea but I can't focus now. I can feel his breath on my skin, he's close enough for me to feel shivers.

I didn't able to react but he still remains hugging me from my back.

"Go to the living room. Ako na ang magdadala niyan." He added as he loosened me out from his embrace.

Nauna akong tumungo sa sala. Saka lang ako nakahinga ng maayos nang makaupo sa bandang dulo ng sofa. Napahawak ako sa dibdib ko. Hugging me from my back really affects me so much. I remembered the first time he hugged me from my back, that was when I'm in his place, in Riley's room. My heart was thumping so hard at that time. That was also the day when I gave him the authority to court me.

So going back right now, namimili ako ng pwedeng mapanuod na movie. Lahat ng DVD's na meron kami ay napanuod ko na. Kaya naman pinili kong isalang ang Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince. That's one of my fave movie series.

Ilang minuto lang ang lumipas ay nakasunod din agad si Ricci bitbit ang isang tray na may fries at juice. Umupo siya sa kabilang dulo ng sofa at inilapag ang tray.

"Harry Potter?" Sulyap niya sa pinapanuod ko.

"Yep!" Masigla kong sagot, pilit na pinapakalma ang puso kong nagwawala na naman dahil sa presensya ni Ricci. "Pero I watched it many times. Kung gusto mo palitan natin. Pili ka ng movie doon." Sabay turo sa lagayan ng DVD's.

Sinulyapan lang niya iyon at mabilis na umiling.

"Hindi na. Iyan na lang, maganda naman 'yan eh. Oh heto na yung fries mo." Sabay abot sa akin nung bowl.

"Ayaw mo?" Takang tanong ko.

"Ha? Hindi ah. Luto mo 'yan eh. Lapit ka kasi dito, masyado kang malayo." Sabi niya habang nagsasalin ng juice.

"Makaluto naman to, eh nilublob ko lang sa mantika 'yan eh. Haha!"

"Psh, kahit na. Halika na nga. Dito ka sa tabi ko."

Hindi ko alam kung bakit ako nag-aalangan pero dahan-dahan naman akong lumapit at tumabi sa kanya. Nang may matira pang espasyo sa pagitan namin, siya naman itong umusog palapit sa akin.

He placed his arm on the backrest of sofa, trying to corner me and made me lean on his arms.

Around eleven thirthy o'clock when I woke up. Oo nakatulog ako habang nanunuod kami ng movie ni Ricci. And speaking of him, nasaan na siya? Wala siya dito sa sala.

I yawned while looking around in our living room trying to search him. Eksaktong pagtayo ko may narinig akong tunog ng kutsara mula sa kusina. Siya kaya yun o baka iniwan na niya ako?

Naglakad patungo sa kusina. Sumilip ako nang bahagya, nang hindi nagpapakita sa pamilyar na bulto ng lalaking nakatalikod habang may sinasandok na pagkain. Pakiramdam ko, mas lalo siyang gumwapo ngayon. Ang astig niyang tignan. He really knows how to cook huh. Ang swerte ko pala sa boyfriend ko. Nakasuot na siya ng t'shirt ngayon, nainitan siguro sa sweater niya.

Huli na ng makita niya ako, hindi ako nakapagtago agad. He smirked when he sees me smiling at him. Bumilis na naman ang tibok ng puso. He never failed me to make me admire him even more.

Sa ilang araw na magkarelasyon, lalo kong nakikita at nararamdaman kung gaano siya ka-sweet. Given na yung pagkasweet niya towards his family. Pero hindi ko alam na ganoon din siya sa ibang tao. Aish, hindi naman na 'ko ibang tao. Naku Khaira, syempre girlfriend ka na niya di ba?

"Anong iniisip?" Basag niya sa katahimikan habang nagtitimpla ng juice.

"Ahmm, wala naman." Ngumiti ako ng bahagya at ganoon din siya ng sumulyap siya sa akin.

"Nagugutom ka na ba? Teka lang, hetong drinks na lang ang kulang." Sabay baling muli niya sa drinks na tinitimpla niya.

I grabbed that chance to hug him from the back. He flinched by what I have done. He seems so shocked. Maybe because this is my first time that I made a first move. Well, naglalambing lang naman ako. Kahit ako nagulat sa ikinilos ko pero nandito na ko. Yakap-yakap ko na siya. No backing out.

Medyo kinabahan ako sa ginawa ko. Ito rin ang unang pagkakataon na yumakap ako sa isang lalaki, I usually do this with my family and relatives only, but not with my friends, a friend who's a boy.

I'm snaking my hands to his waist and I can't deny to myself that I'm feeling nervous. Even though he was surprised a little, I can feel him smirking, a girl instinct I guess.

"What are you doing?" He chuckled.

"Niyayakap ka?" Biro ko.

"Ang sweet yata ng girlfriend ko ngayon, mukhang may kai---"

"What? Wala akong kailangan no!"

"Sa bagay kasi ako lang sapat na." Aniya sabay haplos sa kamay kong nakalingkis sa kanyang bewang.

"Sus, yabang mo." Tumingala ako ng bahagya para makita ko ang mukha niya.

"May ipagyayabang namin kasi." Nagside view siya para tignan ako. "Ikaw." And then he winked at me.

Hindi ko mapigilan ang sarili kong kiligin dahil sa mga salitang binibitiwan niya. But I still tried to act like I feel nothing.

"Naku Ricci, huwag mo kong bolahin, hindi ako bola. Haha!" Pagbibiro ko as I loosened my embrace and let go of him. "Kain na tayo. Gutom na ako. Ano ba tong niluto mo." Lumapit ako sa mesa kung saan nakahain ang pagkain.

"Adobong manok. Pasensya na nga pala at ginalaw ko yung manok sa ref niyo. Isang putahe lang ang niluto ko. Baka kasi magalit ang mama mo kapag ginalaw ko pa yung ibang laman ng ref niyo eh." Sabi ni Ricci na ngayon ay nasa tabi ko at nagkakamot ng ulo. Ang cute niya.

"Sus, okay lang yan. Saka hindi naman malalaman ni mama na ikaw ang gumalaw sa manok dahil hindi niya pwedeng malaman na pumunta ka dito." Wala sa sarili kong sagot at umupo na sa hapag-kainan. "Tara, upo ka na din. Masarap ba 'to?" Sumulyap ako sa kanya. Ang seryoso ng mukha niya. May mali ba akong nasabi?

Umupo siya sa tapat ko. Pwede namang sa tabi ko. Problema neto?

"Huy!" Tawag ko sa kanya. Ngumiti lang siya ng bahagya at inalok akong kumain na. Sinandukan niya ako ng kanin at ulam. Nilagyan din niya ng juice ang baso ko.

"Teka lang Cci, may problema ba? Bakit natahimik ka?" Tanong ko at tinapunan ako ng malamig na tingin. Maya-maya lang ay nagsalita din siya.

"Kailan mo 'ko ipapakilala sa mama mo?" Malamig niyang tanong habang nakatitig sa akin, nilalabanan ang mga tingin ko.

Hindi agad ako nakasagot. Dahil kahit ako ay hindi ko alam. Kagat-kagat ko ang pang-ibabang labi ko habang nag-iisip ng maisasagot. Napayuko na rin ako. Hindi ko kayang labanan ang mga titig niya.

Pakiramdam ko matutunaw ako. Pakiramdam ko sumikip ang mundo namin dahilan upang hindi ako makahinga ng maayos. Sa unang pagkakataon, hihilingin kong sana mawala ako sa harapan niya ngayon o kaya ay siya na lang.

Pero mali, erase that thought. Ayaw kong mawala siya sa paningin ko, sa tabi ko, sa buhay ko. He's starting to be my world and I hate it because I don't want to depend my life only in one person. I don't.

Magsasalita pa sana siya ngunit inunahan ko na.

"My mom already knew the thing about us... Nasabi ko na, na boyfriend kita. Pero... hindi ko pa talaga alam kung kailan kita ipapakilala sa kanya... s-sa pamilya ko." I looked at my plate to avoid his nerve-rocking stares.

"Atleast she knows and I'm happy for that. I can wait naman." I looked back at him and found him smiling, trying to cheer me up. "C'mon, let's eat. Masarap yan, ako nagluto eh. Haha!"

After we ate, we ended up in the living room watching a variety show while talking about my life's dramatic episode and that night I ended our conversation over the phone. I told him my story of life when my dad died years ago, how I endure the pain, about the thing between my mom and tito Lenard, and why I disliked their relationship.

Ricci is like a best friend right now because he keeps on listening to me before he made his comments about the situation. Ang sabi niya hayaan ko na lang daw ang mama ko and let her be happy. Syempre kumokontra ako at ipinaliwanag ko sa kanya kung bakit tutol ako doon.

Hindi na siya kumontra pa. Nirerespeto daw niya ang desisyon ko.

"Whatever it takes, I'll be here for you." Aniya at niyakap ako ng mahigpit.

Naitanong ko din kung paano niya nalaman ang address ko. At ang sabi niya, naghanap daw siya ng pwedeng kontakin sa facebook friends ko since hindi ko daw sinasagot ang tawag niya kahapon dahil nasa hospital nga ako. He found ate Khaila's account and tried to message her.

Isang oras daw siyang nag-antay ng reply at hindi siya nabigo. Since that time, nagpalitan sila ng numbers dahil itong si ate ko ang sabi daw ay mabagal ang data niya so itetext na lang yung address ng hospital kung saan ako dinala kahapon. Knowing ate Khaila, kunwari lang yun. Gusto lang makuha yung number ni Ricci. Haha.

So ayun, kay ate din siya humingi ng permiso na baka pwedeng dalawin ako sa bahay at yung ate ko, go lang. Binigay daw agad yung address namin. Mabuti na lang may pasok si mama kung hindi yari na.

Kasalukuyang naliligo ako ngayon. Iniwan ko saglit sa sala si Ricci. Hindi ako masyadong nagtagal at baka mainip yung bisita ko at iwanan ako dito. Ayokong mag-isa sa araw na ito.

Pagkatapos kong maligo I wear a maong short paired with a hanging sleeveless top. Wala akong nadatnan na Ricci sa sala. Sumilip ako sa kusina pero wala din siya. Umakyat muna ako sa kwarto ko para tingnan ang cellphone ko. Nagulat ako sa mga mensaheng natanggap ko. Lagpas kwarenta iyon at may mga tumawag ngunit hindi ko nasagot.

Ibinulsa ko muna iyon at mamaya ko na babasahin. Bumaba agad ako para hanapin si Ricci. Nagpasya akong lumabas at baka nagpapahangin lang siya. Ngunit wala rin si Ricci doon kahit sa sasakyan niya. Bumalik muli ako sa kusina, wala pa rin siya. Imposibleng nasa backyard siya dahil hindi pa naman niya nalilibot itong bahay.

But I still checked him out in the backyard making sure of. I slowly open the door and only to find out that there's something different. Dim lights coming from the candles placed around the area and scattered rose petals on the ground.

My heart started to beat irregularly as my eyes landed on the table near to our mini pool with a romantic candle lighting on it and some covered plates. There is also a bouquet of white and red roses in one of the two chairs.

I deeply inhaled, closed my eyes trying to feel if this is real. When I open my eyes, they landed on the familiar man in front of smiling and holding a cake. A cake? How did he know?

"Happy Birthday Khaira!" He greeted me and genuinely smiled at me.

I bit my lips and tried to smile. Hot liquids are trying to escape from my eyes. I don't know how to react, what to say, and what will I do. All I am feeling right now is mixed emotions. As my tears finally run down on my cheeks since I am now loosing my control, Ricci put the cake on the table and approach me for a hug.

I embrace him as he hugs me tight.

"Why are you crying? Don't you like my surprise? Its your birthday so you should be happy." He says between our hug.

I'm nodding in response while crying and lean my head on his chest.

"Yeah, of course I'm happy..." I wiped my tears but its not helping. Endless tears were pouring me up. "Sobrang saya ko Ricci. I just couldn't contain the overwhelming feeling you're giving me now. Hindi ko inaasahan ito." I chuckled. "Thank you." I sincerely whispered as I closed my eyes and hug him so tight.

"Your welcome. Maliit na bagay." He chuckled.

"Panira ka ng moment!" I finally controlled my tears.

"Syempre naman I'm doing this because I love you and I want to make you happy on your special day... You deserve to be happy though... God only used me to send happiness to you. And I'm very thankful because I'm the lucky man He chose to take care of you." He slowly and sincerely said in my ears while sniffing my hair which kinda cute.

"I'm also thankful because God gave me kind, caring, ahmm---"

"And handsome---"

I move back from him and smacked his tummy.

"Masakit yun ha! Grabe ka sa akin!" He groaned and tried to look so hurt.

"Masakit? Sapak gusto mo? Panira ka talaga!" I pouted. Nakakainis siya, ang ganda-ganda ng atmosphere eh, tapos sinisira niya. I'm about to walk out but he holds me from my back and snaked his arms around my waist.

"Sorry na baby. I'm just joking around. Hindi yata maganda ang mood ngayon. May problema ka ba or what? Tell me." Pilit siyang sumiksik sa leeg ko habang yakap-yakap ako mula sa likuran.

All of his gestures are really sweet. Pero ewan ko ba, naaasar ako sa mga biro niya.

"Sumagot ka naman oh. Sorry na please?" Pagsusumamo niya. Pakiramdam ko tuloy nakapout siya ngayon. And to think of him pouting dahil sa kaartehan ko ay parang kinurot ang puso.

Bakit ba ganito ang epekto niya sa akin? Konting lambing lang okay na agad ako. Maybe because this is what I want, this is what I need. Ang lambingin ako ng taong mahal ko sa kaarawan ko.

"You know what Ricci... this is my first birthday na mag-isa lang ako---"

"I'm here kaya."

"And I'm thankful for that. You're my first boyfriend, my first love and this is my first birthday that I'm with another person to celebrate my birthday." I paused for a while. Ricci is not letting me go. I can't even move a bit.

"I usually celebrate my special day with my family, close friends and relatives. Pero since naospital ako kahapon, I decided to postpone the simple celebration that ate Khaila and Mama planned. Pero you're here, prepared this whole thing for me. And it makes my day so special. Thank you! Thanks to you, I'm really happy." I sincerely said to him and tried to kiss him on his forehead which made him chuckle.

"Ano ako bata?" He asked in disbelief as he finally untangled his arms on me and made me face him. Both of his hands were placed on my shoulders.

"That means I love you like you are my own child. Haha!" I chuckled and pinched his cheeks. "But seriously, thank you Cci. I really do."

"Thank you lang? Dapat may kiss." Biro niya at hindi agad ako nakasagot.

Biro lang ba talaga 'yun o nagdedemand siya? Umatras ako ng kaunti palayo sa kanya at tumungo na lang sa lamesang inihanda niya.

"Okay na yung kiss sa forehead no! Swerte mo nga at ikaw pa lang ang nahahalikan ko. Ano ba itong nasa mesa?" Tanong ko sa kanya para maiba ang topic.

"Remove the cover and see it yourself." Tumabi siya sa akin. "But before I forgot, here..." Kinuha niya ang bungkos ng rosas sa upuan at ibinigay iyon sa akin. "Flowers for you."

Tinanggap ko iyon at inamoy. I don't usually like flowers but now I feel like its one of my favorite now.

"Thank you!" Hinaplos ako ang mga petals. I found them cute.

"Sabi nila, white roses symbolize purity. So I'm giving you white roses because my love for you is pure. And that love is what the red roses symbolize."

"So this is how Ricci Rivero getting cheezy huh? Haha!"

"I don't usually do this. Pero ganito talaga yata kapag nagmamahal, nagiging cheezy." He says with a wink.

"Okaaay..." I'm nodding while still sniffing the scent of roses.

"But you know what, the combination of red and white roses symbolize unity." That made me shift my gaze from roses to him. He's eyeing me intently. "I don't want to be more cheezy but right now I am looking forward on the day we'll marry each other. Though... mga bata pa tayo at marami pa ang mangyayari, I'm still wishing that our hearts will unite as one. I want to enjoy and live my life with you as much as we can be together. I love you so much my Khaira. I pray this relationship wouldn't lasts."

So that's how he explains unity? He wanted us to be united by heart. If I could be another person, I could say that he's really cheezy. But right now, I only think of how sweet, caring and lovable boyfriend he is. I'm really lucky to have him. I will not let anything or anyone ruin our relationship. I will make sure of that.

By this moment, I don't care of anything. All I want to do is give back his love for me. I put the flower on the chair and face him. I bit my lips as I feel butterflies in my stomach. I looked down and tried to calm myself. I deeply inhaled and looked back at him.

He's giving me a confusing look but I ignored it. I placed both of my hands on his shoulders. I tiptoed onto him. I move my face closer and gave him a peck on his lips. I was about to move back but his right hand snaked on my waist while the other one holds my chin.

My heart beats so fast as we stare at each other. The candle light illuminated his features. Bullets of sweat formed on my forehead as his eyes looked down on my lips.

Napalunok ako dahil sa pag-awang ng mga labi niya at dahil din sa mga titig niya. He lifted my chin slowly into him. When his lips touches mine he pulled me up to deepen the kiss. He gently kissing me and I don't know how to kiss him back. I just mimic what he's doing. I tried to kiss him too even though I'm not sure if its pleasuring him.

When he pulled out, we both gasp for air. Ilang segundo lang ang itinagal noon pero pakiramdam ko ay nanghihina ako. Thanks to the table beside us, I could lean on it. I looked down on the floor and played my fingers. I have no idea what we have just done.

I started it with just a peck and then we ended up kissing. Its not the kiss that was the best gift I have received, but its him who made my day so special. Ricci is one of the best birthday gift I had.