When I was younger I used to imagine someone laying in my bed asleep next to me

Imagining an innocent kind of love

Where we would look at each other and talk

I was never able to picture what this person looked like

I just imagined this shadow laying there

Sleeping or listening to me

Sometimes I'd talk to them in my head

We'd discuss my day

Their day

And it helped me fall asleep

But the other night I turned over

And I saw you

You were looking back at me

And I didn't know how to talk to myself

You were not really there

Only the imagined version of you

You were smiling back at me

And my heart hurt

I had never wished for this imaginary person to really be there

Only the comfort they could bring

A companionship

But now I was reaching out my hands

Grasping at air

Wishing I could give you a hug

When you were at your home

And I was at mine

Sometimes all I really want is a hug

Someone to hold

Someone I can talk to myself to

And I still see you

I wish you were really here

That you'd really be there smiling back

That we could talk about our days in the dark

That I could fall asleep next to you

Madeleine