Six years ago

I was thirteen

Writing bad poetry

Six years later

I am nineteen

Writing bad poetry

Whenever I thought of my future when I was younger

I always thought I would be a different person

That somehow the brain I had then

Would not be who I was

Who would control me

That everything would be better

I would be thinner

I would be prettier

I would be smarter

Yet I still feel like a young girl

I feel the same as I did 6 years ago

Mentally unwell

Oversharing thoughts I do not know how to properly express

Unhealthily writing

Posting poems for everyone to see

Yet wanting and not wanting everyone to see them

Things I know I will wake up and regret

But I do it anyway

Because in the moment I feel better

And then I think 6 years ago if writing bad poetry helped

Ones without rhymes

Without pretty sounding words

Maybe 6 years later

It is ok to do the same

I am still the same

I am still just me

And maybe that is enough

Madeleine