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Listen to Maroon 5- Goodnight. X

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"I want to go and see him," I continued to sniffle and sob as my hands stayed tightly clenched around Kyle's shirt.

"Of course, baby, of course," he croaked. He let out a cough before almost shaking all negative thoughts away and standing up. He brought me along with him.

He then went into my cupboard, rifled around through my belonging and then took out a pair of jeans and a jumper.

I stayed looking to the floor, not knowing what to do or how to feel. My own father, he had gone, and I felt heartbroken, but numb.

Kyle came forward to me, he unzipped my dress and I stepped out of it weakly.

"Lift your arms up," he demanded gently, I did as I was told. He slid the jumper over my body and then kneeled down to put my jeans on. He tapped my ankle and I lifted.

"You don't have to help me," I whispered.

"I know, but I want to," he replied. I didn't utter another word after that, I just let him help me.

Once I was dressed, Kyle took of his suit and put on a hoodie and a pair of jeans, he slipped on his vans and grabbed the keys from the side.

I stood still, emotionless in the middle of the room. It was weird knowing my father would never come home, I wanted him to come home. My eyes welled up again, all I ever did was cry, but I was grieving, even if I didn't quite know it yet.

I felt Kyle's warm body infront of me before I saw it. I savoured in his company and support because I really needed him right now.

"Look at me, sweetheart," Kyle whispered gently, as if he was talking to a little baby. The thought alone made me want to cry even more, but I held the tears in for my sake.

I lifted up my head to look into his eyes, they were downcast on me, full of sadness, grief and love. I didn't know how to cope with it all.

"You're going to be okay," he continued to talk quietly to me. A tear fell astray and before I could open my mouth to say another word, Kyle crushed me in his arms. He sighed as he laid his chin on my head.

"Kyle," I sobbed. Kyle began stroking the top of my head, it was a calming gesture and one I took as comforting, almost.

"It's alright, my love, it's alright," he cooed. I didn't want to cry anymore, I just wanted to go and see him, to say my last goodbye. I wanted this over and done with, I wanted the worst to be over.

"Let's go and see him," I let out. Kyle nodded before picking me up by the waist and carrying me downstairs. He turned off all lights and continued to carry me to the car.

He laid me in the car and clipped my seatbelt in. I told him I could do it but he didn't reply, I just think he likes taking care of me.

He got in the car too and raced to the hospital. I was thankful for the speed we were going, but it was just too silent.

"It's too quiet," I sniffed. Kyle looked at me for a split second before flickering his eyes back to the road. I still saw the sadness evident in his eyes, and I hated that he was upset too, but of course he was going to be.

"Would you like the radio on?" He asked me, he kept turning his head to check on me. I shook my head.

"No," I didn't feel like listening to music.

"How about I tell you a story?" Kyle asked. I nodded my head. I could do with listening to Kyle's voice. It gave me a sense of comfort. "Yes, baby?"

"Yeah," I breathed. "Tell me about your childhood," I stated. It could be a touchy subject, but I was curious too. Kyle let out a breath but approved.

"Well, I was quite a stubborn little boy, quite troublesome at times too. School was always a bad place to be, I would break every rule set, rebel against every adult spoken, I was what you called a complete and utter nightmare." he shook his head at the memory, but a small smiled played on his lips.

"I had many friends, Joe was my bestfriend, we got into trouble so many times I think we lost count, but we never were rude or impolite, we were just cheeky and did things we shouldn't have. I was never a player either, growing up, I remember when you thought I were; I wasn't. I didn't lack on female attention, but I didn't have sex with every girl I saw in a mini skirt, not all boys are like that," he looked over to me and smiled.

"I think you just watch too many films,"

"Shut up," I said. He chuckled. I felt more at ease.

"One thing I will say though, is when we have kids, I don't want my children taking after me, I was a nightmare to my parents and I couldn't even comprehend what they went through. Their only son being a little shit bag, must have been hard," he shrugged. The words 'kids' and 'children' rang through my mind.

Of course I was going to have children, one day, obviously. We were married, it felt so weird yet completely refreshing.

"I can't wait to have kids though, Cal, I literally can not wait to spoil them, but I'm telling you now, my little girl ain't going out with little to no clothing on, I'm wrapping her up in bubble wrap and old granny turtle necks and she can lump it or like it,"

"She's going to love you,"

"Of course she is, I may be irrational but I'll give my kids whatever they want, I'll play with them and cuddle them and read them stories before bed, whatever they want, they're have daddy wrapped around their finger," my heart seized at what he said. I could picture it now, and I couldn't deny the fact that it sounded almost perfect.

"Yeah, definitely," I agreed. I smiled a little as I thought of it. We stayed in silence for a minute or too, and I wasn't thinking of the negatives.

"But you know, Cal? Things get better, the pain and the grief. When Joe died that night, my own bestfriend, I blamed myself, of course I did, and it was so hard to move forward when it felt like the past was dragging you back. Things won't get easier, you'll never miss you're dad any less, but things will get more easier to cope with, even when the pain feels as if it had stayed with you."

"I know," I whispered as my smile faded. "I just didn't want him to go,"

"I know you didn't," he laid a hand against my knee.

He parked the car in a parking space soon after and got out to open my door. When I was met by the cold wind, Kyle took my hand and led me over to the hospital.

We met Tammy in the corridor of where my dad's hospital bed was. She sat on a chair with her head in her hands, her body shaking.

I rushed over to her and wrapped my arms around her body.

"Tam," I whispered. She wrapped her arms around me, and she cried into my shoulder. I had to be strong for her.

"I can't believe he's gone," Tammy stated. I shook my head.

"I can't either," I replied. "Did he go peacefully?" I asked. Tammy nodded.

"It was literally like he fell asleep, I didn't know what to do when the monitors started beeping," she looked almost baffled, shocked and scared at the thought. I hugged her tighter.

"When can we go in and see him?"

"You can now if you want, the doctors waited for you to say your goodbye before they took him. I've said mine, I couldn't be in there any longer," she continued to sob on my shoulder. I rubbed her back.

"It's okay, Tam," I cooed. "I'm just going to go and say my last goodbye," I said. Tammy nodded her head and pulled away.

I got up and walked to the door. Kyle took hold of my hand.

"I'll be here if you need me," he stated. I nodded my head before walking in.

My knees nearly buckled when I saw my father laying there. He looked peaceful, as if he was asleep. He was pale, and when I took hold of his hand, he was cold too.

Lifeless and limp, I couldn't take it. I cried as my tears dropped onto his skin. My knees wobbled and my hands shook.

"Oh, dad, look what life has done to you," I sniffed. "Why did you have to go now? I didn't want you to go," the tears kept falling and I closed my eyes briefly, in hope they would stop.

"You didnt deserve to leave, you're a good man, why does life take the good ones, dad?"

If he was looking over me now, I knew he would be wiping my tears away and making light of the conversation.

"Please help me, daddy, I feel heartbroken," I sobbed.

I grasped his hand tighter.

"I love you, dad, I love you so much, I'll never forget you, never ever," I laid my hand across my chest. "Right here, remember? You'll always be right here," in my heart forever.

I leaned over to kiss his cold cheek. I hated how lifeless he was. I wanted him to just wake up and shout 'surprise!' And start laughing at his own stupid joke; but he didn't. He wouldn't. This was my last time seeing his face, the last time I would ever touch my own father. I didn't want to say goodbye. It didn't feel like the last time.

"Good night," I whispered before shakily making my way to the door. "Have a good sleep,"

I wiped my tears and opened the door. I let my father go, and it killed me.

Goodnight, goodnight, I love you, dad.

I catapulted into Kyle's awaiting arms once I had opened the door.

I needed him so much it hurt. I relied on him more now.

"I love you, Kyle, don't leave me, don't go like my father has," I sobbed. I clutched him so hard.

"Never, baby, never ever will I leave you, you're stuck with me forever, wife," he whispered into my ear as he bent forward.

"It's so stupid how things played out, things were going well, Kyle,"

"It's life, sweetheart, you'll learn to cope with it, you have me,"

"I'll always have you," I stated. "I fucking love love love you," I said to Kyle. Kyle almost chuckled at the use of his saying, but I could feel his heart beat faster too.

"No, I fucking love love love you,"

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