"You're supervising after lunch as well, right Beverly?" Janet asked while chewing her lunch of Swedish meatballs.

I nodded my head to answer her question while I chewed my own frozen, ready-prepared Swanson meal.

The supervising hours were the part of my job that took the least energy from me. Even if it was important to always stay alert and sharp, and to be prepared for the worst to happen during the patients' free time, it was unusual that something like that happened at all.

It was almost too peaceful and still every time I was there, but it felt good for the soul to have one moment of mental reservation every now and then. Especially after all the jumbly thoughts and emotions with Brandon started.

"I really don't get how you manage to work with that man, Bev. He's terrifying just to look at," Mildred said while she shrugged her shoulders, and I was a little bit surprised.

Did Brandon really frighten people around the hospital that much?

I knew the things he had done sounded graphic enough only to hear about, but the thought about that the nurses who treated people who behaved even worse - every day, couldn't even stand to look at him, was a logic that didn't really exist for me.

"You mean Brandon? Oh, he's not as tough as you may believe. But indeed, Mildred, he is a very dangerous and destroyed man," I responded.

Suddenly Harriet decided to follow through the conversation.

"I think he's in love with you," She said with a convincing voice while her cherry lips shaped a big grin.

I almost choked on my food when my stomach turned and my heart started to beat a hundred times faster.

Why did she say that? Did she suspect something?

Either way, Brandon was absolutely not in love with me and that was a clear fact!

My eyes got open wide and I looked back at Harriet with the most surprised face.

"Excuse me?" I said while I gave out a laughter at her hilarious statement.

"It's obvious, Beverly," She rolled her eyes.

Both Mildred and Janet nodded their heads desperately to show their agreement with Harriet.

"Don't you see it? How he acts when he's in your treatment... Nobody here has ever seen him like that. And do you believe that it was just a coincidence that he outraged with Ethel? I don't think so. Brandon Barlowe clearly feels something for you, Beverly. We've seen how he looks at you in the gathering room, and how he rather sit with you than alone in his corner, reading his book..."

Harriet's words really were convincing, and I was more than aware of what Brandon felt towards me. But again, he was not in love with me, of that I was certain.

No matter what I knew deep inside of me, what secrets I shared with that man and what we had done together. I had to pretend in front of the girls. It was fine if they believed that he had eyes for me, because that was in fact not really something unusual with the patients. But that Brandon's feelings were actually answered by me, was a truth that I would never share with them, no matter how close friends we were.

"I... I don't know what to say. Isn't he a psychopath? Last time I checked, psychopaths didn't really have the capacity to feel anything,"

I winked at Harriet while holding my laughter inside. They did in fact still believe that Brandon was a stone-cold psychopath, who only knew how to murder innocent people and how to be aggressively outrageous.

The girls smiled at me while shaking their heads, but they remained silent.

Now they were the ones who thought I was hilarious. But I just wanted to be right, and I didn't want to bring up any kind of suspicion.

"Psychopath or not, he does feel something for you and I know it!" Janet broke the silence with her girly, convincing voice and now I was the one shaking my head.

For my acknowledge, they just enjoyed to mess with me about Brandon to make me giggly and uncomfortable.

"Well, if you say so then,"

I finally put my cards on the table to make the girls believe that they just won with their intriguing and convincing statement.

Of course, I could play along with their trifling and there was really no part of me that got offended about it.

But the realistic, out-loud talking about it, made me realize even more how extremely wrong this all was. The only reason the girls joked about it, was because it was such a bizarre subject, with the smallest chance for something to actually happen between a patient and a nurse.

It was just an unrealistic scenario to make fun of.

"Speaking of in love... Do you know who asked me out yesterday? Again..." I said to break the silence again. The three girls looked at me with big expressions of curiosity and I began to giggle.

"It was Donald again, wasn't it?" Janet said.

"Of course it was Donald," I answered while still showing my teeth through the grin placed over my lips.

"Ooh, so there's going to be a second date?"

"You are such a boys magnet?!"

I laughed at the girls' comments and rolled my eyes at them.

The way each of them acted just like the exact stereotype of a woman, made every situation with them so much more entertaining.

I loved how they always spoke in choir, or how they all wide up their eyes in the exact same way when they were about to find out about something they didn't know.

Each one of them were so unlike the other, with totally different features, appearances and strong personalities. But still, in some way, they were so much like each other, and they probably didn't even notice it themselves.

"Actually, I declined and said no,"

I was never going to tell the girls the actual reason to why I denied another date with Donald. The fact that I had feelings for another well-known man, on the inside of the actual institutional walls.

"What?"

"Why Beverly?"

"You did what?"

"I just feel like I don't have the time nor the will to actually prioritize a relationship. So it does not feel very fair to Donald to accept a second date when I already know what I want and what I don't",

That was the truth, but only half of it. I did in fact not want to rush into a serious relationship with anyone, and I surely did not have the time for it. But the actual reason was that other guy. The guy in cell number 401, who got me weaker than anyone else, who I layed together with just the day before, whose lips I secretly kissed when we were supposed to have our meetings.

That was the true reason behind it all.