★彡　May contain hard topics and incorrect info.. and definitely spelling errors. ★彡

★彡 This is a separate oneshot from a separate book. Only here because of the late updates. (Sorry for the waiting!) ★彡

Katsuki dreamed of being the number one hero.. ever since he could speak... that dream didn't last though..

Katsuki's mother surely helped with that...

He was seen as weak in her eyes .. never will be special no matter how strong his quirk was.. he was still worthless in her eyes...

Katsuki watched every day... he watched his mother praise a friend over her own son... late bloomer this friend was called.

His friend was adored by his mother...

Soon Katsuki saw his friend the way his mother saw his friend... wanting nothing more than for him to succeed...

The only problem was Katsuki didn't know how to help his friend succeed.. the only way he knew was the way his own mother wanted to help him "succeed.."

Growing up he soon learned that she wasn't helping... yet the way helped his friend.. worked out.. so was it destined for Katsuki to fail while his friend thrived?

Katsuki growing up soon felt nothing.. only a weird feeling he couldn't describe towards someone he caused pain to.. he didn't understand while doing it but that doesn't make it any better.. he is still like his mum. A pain to those they are around... difference between him and his mum... one didn't end in shame.

Though a question lingered in his mind ever since his dream was crushed...

Why do so many kids and adults want to be the number one hero?

Why is it so special?

He may have never understood but he tried his hardest to make sure his friend stayed at top.. pushing him until he reached his goal.

He had no meaning in his life except that one goal...

One goal... that would change everything... and the effects.. that would last a lifetime.

He thought after school the dream would be achieved.. yet it took longer than he expected... he should learn that everything isn't the way it seems.... Too bad his goal was almost achieved.

A shame indeed he couldn't learn how to live life... maybe things would have changed..

That didn't matter now... Katsuki smiled as he waited.

He didn't expect to be a hero for this long... but it happened.. and indeed it was well as he saved kids and adults of all ages from different things.. he didn't want the spotlight like he said so many years ago.. simple lies they were.. though he didn't want to see anyone suffer.. he played the game well.. a shame he lost the battle in the end.

Many would say he was selfish.. which may be true.. he wouldn't know.. he didn't really see anything else besides his mother and father behavior.. wasn't best for a fragile kid's mind while growing up..

Katsuki felt things he didn't understand... he always pushed them down and copied what his mother did to achieve the dream.. the goal.. his reason..

Katsuki did not understand what he felt... yet every time he went around his friend he felt hole where usually he felt other things.. he felt something different, something better.. way better than things that made him feel off.. things he couldn't describe.

A shame he'll never understand what they meant.

Katsuki was too stupid to be the number one hero.. good thing he stopped trying at a early age.. things would have been bad for others.

Katsuki also didn't know how you could be a number one hero.. do they take scores? Or make charts? Could he take himself out of it if so?

He didn't even know how this shit worked...

Though it didn't stop him from dreaming.. his goal.. he needed to achieve it.. was it worth it if the goal goes untouched?

A gift means nothing.. if the person gave it to you in pity. A shame if the gifts didn't have value.. just a thing to make up for more shitty things innit?

Doesn't make sense does it?

Would you do anything for someone.. even if you took your whole childhood away.. just one goal.. to complete everything... to change the way it was.

If so.. what caused this goal..?

What is the value?

What is the feeling.. so intimidating yet enticing.. wanting to make you throw up as well be.. the opposite.. whatever that is anyway.

How can one goal.. do so much... did Katsuki think about the effect.. yes.. and no.. he only thought about how this friend would be affected and nobody else.. they didn't fit into his dream... the puzzle already had the proper pieces.. no more could be added.

He learned that as well... once you have something don't change it for anything.. no matter how selfish it may seem.. If it was made for 'good' then it's done for good. Even if his mother's idea of good was to praise a kid she barely knew... then treated him like her own son.. as she tossed away her flesh and blood as if he was a used napkin.

He wasn't mad though.. he understood what she was doing her whole life.. he realized his mother's taste.. she knew what needed to happen.. it just took awhile to realize he was in the way of something wonderful.

A shame he took so long relize.. his toddler self should have realized what he was doing wrong.. a shame he couldn't fix his mistakes..

Well his goal was fixing his mistakes.. or was it just to make up for them... isn't that the same thing..?

It didn't matter to Katsuki.. thinking wasn't his strong suit.. if only he was taught properly.. but he understood why he wasn't.. his friend needed the attention more than him. He was just so perfect!

A shame he couldn't he couldn't be with them any longer.. but as his mother has said before.. Katsuki shouldn't be holding back such perfection.

Katsuki didn't think he was holding back.. he believed wholeheartedly that he had some part.. just a little bit.. to help his friend succeed.. but it was selfish of him to think that so the thought pushed back far.. as far as he could until he couldn't think of it any more.

Was it healthy? He wasn't quite sure. Did it matter? No. Not at all..

His goal was the only thing that mattered.. he needed results.. he needed more than anything in this world.

How long must he wait to see the thrill on one person's face.. was it a match made in heaven..? His downfall.. was he never gonna reach his goal.. to fail everything.. no matter how much effort..

The world doesn't care how much you try.. they only pick favorites.. this didn't bother him.. but he felt for other like him.. they didn't deserve it.. if only he could talk all pain anc carry his shoulders.. he would give anything for that happen.. but since he can't.. he must pray that his goal.. his friend does all the saving.. maybe he will open his eyes to see the broken world they happen to live in.

Katsuki has been sitting in the same place for days.. no food or water.. no nothing.. only movement if necessary.. his main focus was if he needed it in battle.. but he tried to give his friend most of the cameras.. it was the most he could do.

He has been waiting for results.. he craved them.. was he selfish wanting them so bad.. Was it bad he craved validation for something he knew he didn't deserve.. was it bad he wanted to tell his mum what he did.. just so maybe he could feel something.. was it bad?

He wasn't gonna do it anyway.. They just thought he had thrown back into his trap he called his mind. They float around.. being pushed and shoved around so he could forget the things that feel something other than the same he always had felt.

A friend that he shouldn't even refer to as a friend... yet he does it because.. because why? It doesn't make sense why he still refers to him as a friend.. when they haven't spoken in so long. Brief words here and there.. nothing more.. but always less.. it was selfish of him to crave more.. so he stayed away.

When the results did come he panicked.. it was weird to him.. but it seemed to work out.. but his name wasn't in the bottom which scared him.. the numbers getting smaller and smaller.. he couldn't be number one! He just couldn't!

Five..not him..

Four.. not him..

Three.. not him

Two....

Katsuki had tears in his eyes... he hadn't cried so long.. the water felt weird on his face. So un-real..

Number one... Izuku Midoriya.

Was it selfish... maybe.. but it didn't bring happy tears to Katsuki's face.. he has waited so long.. for just a moment that will last for just a second.

Katsuki imagined a party.. all his favorite drinks and food.. invited my friends and others who had helped him in his journey to be the number one.. Katsuki's mother might be there.. but not him.. even if he was invited...

not showing up.. would that seem selfish? Even if it was the opposite...

He could imagine the happy tears falling down Izuku's face... the bright smile All Might would have...

Everyone would want to be with the number one hero.. to be him and to be a part of him.

Katsuki didn't understand what he was feeling or whether he was proud of what had happened.. or the other feeling, the one he can't explain.

Izuku.. was the number one hero... could you believe it...?

So long.. if waiting for a moment he wasn't going to see..

Katsuki wanted to see the bright smile of an old friend one more time..

How was he gonna get it.. with the same way he always gets all his things.. acting like his mother.

Though he waited... he needed to think.. every possibility.. every chance and outcome.. he needed to be sure everything was in place.. he might be selfish.. but ended this waste.. is best he could think of..

He couldn't wait long.. he didn't want to do it anymore.. he didn't care if it was selfish... it's just..

Was it worth it?

Katsuki sighed as did what he thought was best.

"Fuck you nerd." Katsuki sent in a simple message..

He meant nothing with the simple words yet he knew it would cause Izuku to do something. Start another problem.. not like he didn't know how.

It was the only thing Katsuki knew how to do.. besides lying of course.. though he felt bad.. lying monsters are the worst after all..

Katsuki needed fresh air.. but he didn't want to move.. he just needed it gone..

Katsuki put on his shoes and decided to walk.. just walk until he could read that one last message.

The walk was nice.. short but nice but the reason he chose to live so close to the park was because of the bridge.. It was so pretty.. the water so far below was stunning.. a shame someone like him was there to ruin it...

He waited on a Park bench.. he just wanted a reply.. one.. he couldn't be ignored.. but he didn't want to stay..

So he waited.. he waited till nightfall and there was still no message.. a shame indeed.. but it was his time to go.. he had no purpose anymore.

But why did it hurt so much? He knew this would happen.. but it was painful.. the feeling he had around his friend... it was something he didn't understand.. until he waited for one message he never got..

. . .

Love..

Something he felt.. but always wanted.

Katsuki loved Izuku.. he may have never realized because he never understood love... maybe if his parents loved each other he would have known what and how to treat this feeling.. but death is already so close.. crossing the line was gonna be hard.. but his goal was complete.. and so was his life..

So he took a step off the bridge.. the message he never got beeping as he fell...

Tears left his eyes as he smiled.

He didn't lose the battle.. he won.. with a sacrifice.

Every good hero dies with meaning... What's the point of living with no value?

A hero... has fallen..