Four days I've been in here. Four days to cry and think about the horrible things I've done. Four days of being attacked by my own brain. My head exploding with emotions and my heart breaking for the things I've done.

Four days of thinking about all of the things that have lead up to this. It started off with my pack being murdered by vampires. I then met the ruthless Tyler and Liam. I managed to fall stupidly for both of them. Then my own mate broke my heart in half. Now all I feel is broken and empty. Every breath I take seems pointless. Every time I blink I wish that I would just close my eyes and slip off. I've slept too much. I'm restless in this depression. I've gotten two meals of bread and water a day.

Food for criminals like me. All of the never ending sorrow eats away at me like termites to wood.

I sit up on the old spring mattress, staring blankly out the barred window. Even the sunshine won't cheer me up. I sigh in despair.

I hear footsteps. My ears perk up as they approach closer. The door clicks and opens with the loud sound of screeching metal.

My eyes meet his and my heart breaks once again.

"Tyler." My voice is barely audible from not speaking for so long.

"I haven't been able to sleep." His voice cracks. "Thinking about everything that has happened." A tear falls from his eye.

"I don't think anything I can say will fix any of this... but I'm so sorry.." I almost whisper.

"You don't get it Alex, the council made a vote... about what happened." He wipes the tear and straitens his posture. "There will be a trial. You will either get your ranks revoked... or face the punishment of death."

My dry throat tightens. "And how did the council vote?" My heart clenches, terrifies of the response.

He breathes out. "It was a draw."

Relief waves over me.

"They will vote again tomorrow.." He trails off. His eyes falling to the floor.

I can tell he doesn't want this. "I just want to tell you, I-I didn't know you were ever coming back. I thought I'd lost you forever when I slept with her... I- love you.." another tear drags down his cheek.

My eyes water. I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear. "It doesn't matter now.. does it..." I take a shaky breath. "Either way I'm gone.."

He steps towards me, wrapping his muscular arms around me. This provoked sobs from me.

Even though we touch, the sparks have faded. I just feel the pain of what I have done to hurt him. I killed someone over jealousy.

"I wish it didn't have to be like this." He says through my hair. He then pulls away from our embrace and wipes another tear.

Clearing his throat he says, " but it does."

With that he turns around and leaves me alone once again.

I sit down on the bed in tears. There is no way out this time. Either I will be banished from this pack to become a rogue, or I will be killed for the crime I committed. That's how this pack gets justice.

——————

Night falls and the air is chilled without the sunlight. I shiver in my cold cell. All I have is a thin blanket. I get up and shift into my wolf form in hopes of more warmth.

A few hours go by but I still can't get any sleep with this weather. I finally shift back to human form and lay back in the lumpy bed.

I can't take this anymore. The pain and the guilt is too much. There are two votes about my future. Exile or death. Condemned to be a rogue or executed in front of the entire pack.

I stand up. Tears start to dribble down my eyes. I feel like I'm always crying.

Five days. Secluded. Five days to think about what I've done. How it's going to end either way. Alone. I will be alone. I pickup the plate that they brought me bread on earlier and smash it into the wall.

I pickup a shard and my hands are now shaking.

My wolf races inside me begging me not to make the next move. I shut her out. I can't take this anymore. I've had every happiness ripped away from me. Everything seems so pointless again.

I put the point of the glass shard to the bottom of my wrist, ready. I take a shaky breath. My vision is blurry from the tears.

I close my eyes and raise the glass a little, ready to puncture.

3....

2....

1....

I shove towards my arm with all my strength but there's no impact. My wrist holding the glass is grabbed by a strong hand.

I open my eyes and look next to me to see Liam.

"What in the bloody hell are you doing??!" He demands. He yanks the shard from my hand and throws it out the window.

"I'm gone for a few measly days and now you're off trying to commit suicide??!" He's enraged. I look into his piercing eyes, my mouth gaping.

"What's the point, Liam." My eyes are cold. Already dead.

He laughs. "You don't know do you?"

He walls around me and plops himself on the bed, inspecting the mattress.

"Know what." I chunk out. "Actually I don't care. You can go ahead and leave me here alone. There's no point to living. I killed someone, Liam. A girl. All of it was out of fucking jealousy!" I pace around then release a scoff," You know, I was so angry that I didn't even think twice. It felt..."

"It felt good didn't it." He stands up.

"No. Of course not!" I yell offended.

He takes a step closer to me. "Deep down in your half vampire heart you know it." He leans in and whispers in my ear.

"You liked the kill. The blood on your hands." His hot breath makes me shiver.

"No I didn't." I say firmly. "Now go away!"

He steps back. "Why, so you can kill yourself? Because you think it's so pointless and you just want to end it?"

"Yes! There's nothing to live for anymore! I've ruined everything I've ever loved! Tyler, the whole pack hates me! I've ruined it," I take a breath, "I've ruined it." I whisper.

"So that's your answer to the big problem? Suicide? Do you think that will fix all of your problems?"

"Yes Liam. Killing myself is the last option. So. So kill me or get out!" I stutter.

He pauses for a moment.

"Okay." He smirks and rushes me, snapping my neck.

~~~~~

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