I saw Van in the kitchen when i walked into the living room to get my fags

"Thought you stopped" he said

"I did" I chuckled walking into the kitchen

"I'll walk you to work in a bit" he said handing me a cup of tea "you don't have to" i said looking at him "I want to, love" he said kissing my cheek softly sitting down

"Thank you" i whispered "for what?" He asked "being here helping me, even though i acted like a total dickhead towards you" i sighed taking a sip of my tea "that's doesn't matter anymore yeah? Let's just forget 'bout that" he said with a smile i nodded "i need to talk to Steve" I sighed "he'll come 'round if his ya truly mate yeah?" He said brushing his hand trough his hair "I suppose" I whispered

-

"Thank you for walking me" i said "I'll call you alright?" He asked "yeah that's fine" i whispered smiling he leaned in and kissed me on my lips "I should probably get going now" i chuckled pulling away he nodded "good luck suga" he said smiling

I walked into the building and sighed

I didn't want to get fired.

"Oh look who decided to come" Steve chuckled looking at me "can we talk later?" I said he sighed "why?" He asked "you know what? If you don't wanna talk then that's fine you know" i said with an eyebrow raised "I didn't mean to like-" he started "save it" i spit

"Lexi?" My boss asked "yes, i wanted to speak to you" i said looking at him "well, i have a meeting right now but I'm free around ten?" He said "perfect thank you" i said shaking his hand he gave me a small smile and walked away "you seriously think you still have the job?" Eric asked walking past me "why wouldn't i?" I said "cause you are fucking trash? Everyone knew that from the start-" he started "aye shut up for a second can ya? No one ever told him you fucked Troy in the toilet in the building when your lunch break was five teen minutes over" Steve said smirking at him

I chuckled looking at Eric who was swallowing and shaking his head

He walked away leaving me and Steve alone

"That rockstar of yours is in town then?" Steve asked i sat down looking at him "he isn't my- he helped me getting on with my life again" i whispered "and by that you mean shagging-" he started "for fuck sake Steve!" I said raising my voice "i was taking a piss of ya! so his back? how long is he staying?" Steve asked looking at his computer "don't know yet, but what does it matter to you?" I asked him knitting my eyebrows together "listen Lexi, i just don't want you to get hurt again by him alright? Your me best mate i don't wanna lose you over such a stupid argument you know what i mean?" He signed i nodded "I know but you gotta accept him." I whispered looking at my phone

- one new message

From van x :

How's it going? Have you talked to your mate yet? Love you Lex xx

I smiled and then looked at Steve

"Did you even listen?" He asked

I shook my head "no sorry what did you say?" I asked Steve sighed and stood up

"I asked if you could hang 'round tonight mate" he said i looked outside being in my own little world "aye wake up!" Steve said

"I'm-"

"Lexi, meeting is over come this way" my boss said i stood up and shot Steve a weak smile before entering a black and white classy room

"So, are you alright?" He asked in his east London accent "yeah i suppose i am now, I'm sorry i haven't been active lately and didn't show up i had a rough time, i know i should've called or anything" i said sitting down in a leather chair

He nodded looking outside "you lucky" he whispered looking at me "you are one of the best people i have 'ere so you can start again next week on Monday" he said sitting down looking at his laptop "what really? I mean this is like a proper-" I started saying being confused "you better go before i change my mind" he chuckled i stood and shook his head

"You better not mess this up again" he chuckled "I will never" I smiled walking out of the room.

"So, you still have the job then?" Steve asked with a pen laying between his lips "yes i have" i smirked walking into the lift.

I looked into the lift mirror and fixed my hair and lipstick before the silver doors opened

When i walked out of the building i got another message

From van x :

When you done come up your favorite bar, all drinks on me love x

I chuckled and walked to my favorite bar after calling van.

"Ello, love" he said as i sat next to him smiling "how was it?" He asked "I still have the job and Steve wants to talk tonight." I said looking at van he clenched his jaw and nodded looking away "something's wrong?" I asked him putting off my jacket "i-i don't know what to- i Lexi" he started "yes?" I asked "I'm leaving tomorrow morning." He whispered looking at me i looked confused at him but nodded

"Yeah that's-" i started "that's why i- you know" he sighed looking at me

I swallowed and nodded "yeah i understand" i whispered "don't be angry with me?" He said "i just- i though you stayed longer then a couple days you know what i mean?" I said picking at my nails "yes love, but I'm coming back soon so no need to worry" he whispered kissing my cheek i pulled away "Lexi?" He asked "it's just- you fuckin' always tell me you'll come back soon and there's no need to worry and that but i just- i don't seem to believe in that" i said looking at him with watery eyes

"So what you wanna do then?" He whispered

"I just want to be sure, about us, look at us we weren't even a thing this is-" I started "Lexi don't leave" he said as i stood up grabbing my jacket "you know i don't seem to understand why i should stay, take care van" i sighed walking out of the bar

- 4 am

"Hello?" I said as someone knocked on my door i unlocked the door and looked at who it was "you are a night person aren't you?" I sighed seeing van "I just don't sleep" he whispered lighting a ciggy "what's wrong?" I asked "everything Lexi, i want you to be with me and go on tour with me and live life with me and all those things." He said looking straight into my eyes "so you want us to be official?" I asked confused "more than that" he whispered walking closer to me i closed my eyes and swallowed feeling his lips against my skin "I don't want you to go" i whispered

"I don't want to go either" he whispered in between kissed

- van's pov

- The next morning.

I sat down and smoked a fag hearing footsteps

"Good morning" Lexi whispered as she sat down I stood up and made some tea for her

"You alright, love?" I asked her with a morning voice she nodded and looked at me "yeah but my legs are hurting like mad though" she chuckled closing her eyes crossing her legs

I smirked at her and licked my lips like usual "you have work in a bit?" I asked she shook her head messing with her nails "I'm starting on Monday" she whispered looking at me

"In two days then?" I said she nodded again standing up

She walked towards me and pulled her arms around my waist laying her head on my chest

I pulled my right arm around her waist and my left hand in her hair slowly brushing trough it.

"How come you always smell nice?" She whispered on my chest i chuckled "I do?" I asked she nodded "you smell like aftershave and fags and tea, that's pretty good except from the fags " she whispered kissing my cheek

The teakettle went off, she sat down again and grabbed her phone i grabbed two cups and handed her one pouring in the hot water

"You look better in me shirts then i do" I said sitting down looking at her "can i borrow it?" She asked looking at the black and grey sweater "of course you can suga!" I said in a high pitched voice smiling she smiled and took a sip of the cup of tea

I loved her, so deeply she would never understand "how late are you leaving" she asked lighting a cigarette "thought you quit?" I said changing the subject "don't change the subject van" she sighed standing up "two." I said "Tonight." I said again "I'll miss you" she said finishing the tea i nodded "I'll miss you too"

-

I walked into a record shop with Lexi looking around "look what we have here then!" She said smiling pointing at our Lp

"Look at that that's mad!" I said grinning

We walked over to the Lp "you listened to it then?" I asked her with a smirk she nodded "I did i did" she whispered grabbing one

"I did too" a voice next to me said i didn't recognize it at first but when i saw her face i could not believe who it was "Abby?" I asked smiling with wide eyes

- Lexi's pov.

"Abby?" Van asked with excitement in his voice smiling "yes, van" she smiling hugging him

When they broke away i lightly coughed

"Oh hello, I'm Abby van's- uh nice meetin' ya'" she said offering her hand i took it and nodded "I'm Lexi, nice meeting you too" I lied "what ya doin' here in Leeds, lass?" Van asked making a conversation while i stood next to him just being...awkward.

"I had a couple weeks off, I'm going to London tomorrow for a couple days" she said smiling looking at van i grabbed my phone

"Me and the lads are going to London tomorrow as well for tour! We could swing by and offer you a ride maybe?" He asked smiling

I walked away from the two and made my way further into the record shop looking around

"Yeah that would class, cheers" she said

I sighed calling Steve "no worries love, i owe you" he whispered

Jealousy started taking over my body

"Hello" Steve said as he picked up "you free tonight?" I asked "yes sure why?" He asked "just- I'm sorry 'bout yesterday" I sighed brushing my hand trough my hair "eh don't worry about that lass yeah? Twelve at yours?" He asked "yeah, sweet bye Steve" I said hanging up "ello love" van said walking towards me i knitted my teeth together "hi" I whispered looking at him "you wanna eat somewhere, love?" He asked "shouldn't you be going eating somewhere with that abb-" never mind." I sighed walking out of the store "Suga' what's wrong?" He asked me following me "I want to go home." I whispered crossing my arms

- van's pov

"Why you wanna go home in all of a sudden?"

"Cause you won't even explain why that 'Abby' girl was who you called also 'love' and she introduced herself as 'van's- uh' what's 'van's- uh'?" She asked knitting her eyebrows together

"She's my ex- girlfriend" i said to her she shook her head "oh right, so your getting off with her?" Lexi asked with an attitude

"Getting off with he- what are you talkin' about?" I said shaking my head "fuckin' offering her a ride to London huh? You know what van? I'll see ya." She said walking away from me "no, no, no, no, Lexi I'm not letting you slip away" I said grabbing her arm lightly "don't touch me"She said slapping my hand away "what you want to me to do? Let you walk away?-" I started "I want you to fucking- for fuck sake van why do we have to be so complicated always" she sighed looking into my eyes "I have me mate coming over, can i go now?" She said I clenched my teeth together "who's your mate?" I asked "oh you care, since when?" She spit walking away from me

-

"Mate you gotta go back there before she hates you" Becky said as i drank my last beer "I can't she wants nothing of me" I said looking at her "mate, she's just upset 'bout you leavin' and that Abby girl and that, she honestly loves you"

I stood up and thanked her for telling me

"How late are we leaving again?" I asked Dan

"A little bit earlier than we planned, 'round eight?" He said looking at us lads "fuck sake, you telling me we're leaving in three hours?" I asked he nodded i grabbed my jacket and hurried out of the hotel

-

I knocked on the door waiting for her to open it

"Coming!"

I looked at the roses i bought

As she opened the door my heart started racing

"Why are you here, van?" She whispered with red puffy eyes, she's been crying.

"I'm sorry about what happened today, you know i love you- you know that and erm- i got ya' roses not only cause of what happened also cause i'm leaving and cause you love red roses- " i chatted getting cut off

"van?" She whispered looking at me.

I was afraid of what she was going to say

"Yes, Lexi?"

She sighed weakly and looked up at me

"I don't think we- I don't think we're able to make this work."

"What you mean-"

" we just always seem to just fallout when I'm most in need of it. "

-

-

sorry for not updating for a few days.

Thanks for reading!

X