I looked at van who sat opposite me

I bit my nail

He looked at me as well

"You want me to go on tour with you and the lads?" I asked becky she nodded i sighed "listen that's sweet and all but i-" I started "but it will be fun, me and you and the lads seeing different city's in the uk and that!" she said with a huge grin on her face

Me and van haven't talked in ages, and i think that was the best.

We sat in bob's hotel room since it was the last day "so you want me to quit my job and that?" I asked her she shook her head "just call in sick" she said "every fucking day for the rest of like what? Three months?" I chuckled

"Just take time off, or quit" she said with a hopeless smile on her lips

I sighed looking at the lads "yous are okay with that?" I asked they nodded "we love to have you" bondy said "can I think about this?" I asked becky "we have fucking twenty four hours mate" she and with a blank expression on her face I sighed "I'm mental for doing this but I'll go with yous" I said becky's eyes grew wide as she hugged me

- van's pov

I couldn't believe she was actually going

I mean i was happy as ever but we didn't talk

I missed her

"Class!" Bondy said smiling

I did think he had a thing for Lexi

I looked at her she was smiling at Becky

I wish she was smiling at me "let's pack then yeah?" I said to everyone

We stepped into the tour bus

"Can someone give me like a room tour or some?" Lexi asked the next day

I looked at her "I'll show you" i said

She looked at me and nodded standing up

I walked towards the bunks with her

"Lexi" I said looking at her

She stopped in her tracks and looked at me

"What?" She asked, she really didn't know?

"We don't talk anymore? Don't you-" I started but she cut me off "is that a problem for you?" She asked

I knitted my eyebrows together

"of course is that a problem" I said

She leaned against the bunks with her back and shook her head "why is that a problem for you?" She asked me looking up

"You?- don't you fucking understand that i-" I started "alright?!" Larry exclaimed walking in i still looked at Lexi

"Yeah course, what's up lid?" She asked him smiling i shook my head

She was playing a fucking game and it made me sick

- Lexi's pov

"So that's the toilet, kitchen, rest room" Larry said i nodded "thank you Larry" I said smiling he nodded "what's up with you and van, love?" He asked me then "nothing, why?" I lied

"His been acting weird lately and we all see the way he looks at you" he whispered looking into my eyes

I looked at my bracelet and crossed my arms looking at him "there's nothing between us"

He chuckled "you sure, love?" He asked

"Well, maybe for him but not for me" i whispered "you two kissed didn't yous?" He asked "a year ago" i said he nodded "times flies" he whispered i nodded

"So that's what happened" becky laughed

I sat on a leather couch in the dressing room

Van sat opposite me looking at me

I looked into his eyes

"Is that really what happened Lexi?" Mike laughed

I broke away from staring at van and looked at Mike "huh?" I asked "did yous really pretend to be strippers?" Bondy chuckled

"That was like what? Two years ago?" I said looking at becky with knitted eye brows

She swore she never brought this up again

"Yes but still" she laughed

I sighed and stood up

I walked outside to smoke and to have some time for myself.

"He loves me with every beat of his cocaine heart" I whispered singing along to one of my favourite lana songs

I lighted my ciggy knitting my eyebrows together

"Room for one more?" Bondy asked me standing next to me "sure" I chuckled looking at him "why are you outside it's freezing, love" he asked me lighting his fag "don't know, needed some time to myself really" i whispered looking at the ground

"You alright?" He asked i nodded

"You excited for the show?" I asked

He nodded "I'm dead excited" he said smiling

"This song is called business" van said in the microphone

"I love this one!" Becky yelled

"I wanna love you

But I've no time for your friends who can fucking do one

I've had a rough night" van sang into the microphone walking to the other side of the stage

"Let's get drunk in your bedroom

And have a smoke in your window

Until you're urging I tear up your clothes" he sang walking back

He was an excellent singer and guitarist i gotta say

"And all I wanna know

Is just how far you wanna go" he sang

"I can't believe we are standing side stage!" a girl next to me said who I didn't know

"I wanna make it my business

I wanna tolerate drunk you, honey

I wanna make it my problem" he sang swinging his lips

"Oh my god his so fit" the girl next to me said then

"Listen I know that you said you'd be sleeping

Babe, it's been enough night

Narcissistic but fuck it I'm calling

I need to know you're alright" he sang shaking his head slowly with the microphone in his hand

"You see now I found a lover

Who can be in peace with my mother

And I ain't ever letting her go

'Cause all I wanna know

Is just how far you wanna go" he sang

"I definitely wanna go far" the girl said

I walked backstage

I felt uncomfortable hearing what a girl around sixteen wanted to do with someone who's twenty four and who kissed me

Stop Lexi, it was a fucking year ago

- van's pov

"That was class!" Becky said walking into the dressing room with us lads, and the two fans

I looked around the room and saw Lexi

"You guys were absolutely class" the blonde one said "thank you very much" I said still looking at Lexi who didn't even bother to look up from her phone

"No worries, van" she said with a cheeky smile

The lads chatted and signed stuff from the girls and smoked some fags

"Van I have a question" the blonde one said

Lexi looked up from her phone

"Yes love" i said "do you want to go out with me tomorrow morning? A cute coffee date or some?" She asked me with a small smile

"Love, i would love to but we are going to Manchester tomorrow I'm so sorry" I said pushing my hair back she nodded "it's fine, it's okay" she whispered smiling

I saw Lexi looking down again

I wanted to talk to her

But had no idea how.

-

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Shitty chapter but hello!

Thanks for reading x

Stay tuned !