His every move was intentional.

His hands slowly grabbing at my body, pulling me closer than space would allow, but it just felt.. different with him. Like it wasn't about where we were going, but more so.. how we got there. He appreciated the little things, the moments in-between that often got overlooked between the fervor and passion.

But even still.. I could tell that something was off.

"Are you okay?" I asked, moving away, leaning my forehead against his. The last thing I wanted to do was make him feel uncomfortable, like I had pressured him into this again. I wanted to do it right this time, no matter what that meant for him.

He held his stare on me for a moment, his cheeks flushed red in what little light illuminated his room, leaving us tousled within the shadows of our familiar outlines. He eventually nodded before leaning back into another gentle kiss.

But I knew he wasn't.

I pulled away again, sitting up to face him.

"Josh, what's wrong?" I asked. He sighed, his face dropping.

I knew it.

"I don't want to upset you." He said softly, now avoiding my eyes.

"You could never upset me." I said. "Not when it comes to this." He got quiet again. I hated how nervous he got telling me how he felt. That was the last thing I wanted for us. I knew that I was to blame, with how I reacted to the first time we did it, and if I could take that back, I would in a heartbeat.

"It's just.. t-this is important to me. Especially with you, and.. I want it to mean something. I don't want it to just be something that happens after drinking too much. I.. I want it to be special." I couldn't help but smile, sometimes forgetting just how sweet he could truly be. It made me feel that much more guilty about ever hurting him. And I don't think I had ever met a guy who put such sentimental value on things the way that he did, and I was so lucky to have found that. Some people wait a lifetime for someone like that.

And here I was, ruining it again.

"I'm sorry." I said, feeling my face get hot. "I.. I'm doing it again. I don't want to rush you, I just-"

"It's okay." He giggled. "I mean, I like feeling like you want me that way, it's just.. this is a big deal and.. we never really made it a big deal. And.. I'm sorry to be one of these people, and if it makes me 'old fashioned' then so be it, but.. I just can't do this if we're not together. And.. if we're gonna be together again, I want to do it right. And I'm sorry, but.. I still need time."

I reached up for him, gently tangling my fingers in his hair, pulling him into a gentle kiss, soon feeling his hand move up, lightly caressing my face as he kissed me back.

"I'm sorry if I make you feel like you can't tell me these things." I sighed. "I don't mean to, and.. you waited for me, despite the fact that you shouldn't have. I don't deserve yo-"

"Don't say that, Jaime."

"But I don't. You deserve someone like.. Katie who-"

"No." He laughed. "I want you. So.. unless you tell me it's never gonna happen-"

"I want it to happen." I assured him, gently holding his face in my hand again. "Is it.. still okay if I kiss you?"

He nodded, giggling to himself again as he pulled me into another long series of kisses.

"Oh, absolutely." He sighed, his lips eventually curling into a smile. "You can kiss me whenever you want. And I hope that you do."

"So then.. are we together now?" I asked. His smile grew into a giddy grin, my heart jumping at his laughter.

"Will you please just let me do this right, Jaime?" He asked. "I think you owe me that much."

"You're right." I sighed, finally lying back down. He cuddled underneath the blankets, wrapping his arm around me, pulling me up against him. I nuzzled my face into his neck, taking in as much of his body heat as I could, always so warm and inviting.

"But.. until then.. can this be enough for you?" He asked timidly. I nodded, wrapping my arms around him, gently kissing his neck.

"With you, it's more than enough." I felt him sigh, his body finally relaxing as his breaths got slower, his lips now pressed against my forehead.

"I love you, Jaime."

"I love you too."

I woke up to an empty room. The curtains had already been pushed open, letting in the sun's blinding light. I sat up, looking around as my eyes adjusted, only to be hit with the the familiar chill of a fall morning. Pushing myself out of bed, I went over to Josh's closet, quickly flipping though until I came across one my favorite sweaters of his. I had eyed it every single time he wore it, hoping one day he would offer it to me.

Pulling it over my head, I couldn't help but smile as I got a whiff of his familiar scent that always managed to linger, no matter how clean his clothes were. It had always been one of my favorite smells.

And then I heard a knock on the door as he slowly peeked his head inside, flashing me a tired smile. My cheeks burned as I crawled back onto his bed, now embarrassed having been caught helping myself to his clothes.

He made his way in with two mugs, handing one off to me before making his way around and carefully climbing into bed again.

"We didn't even do anything and I still get morning-after privileges?" I laughed. He took a sip, smirking at me from over his mug, shaking his head.

"Yes." He said simply, leaning into a quick kiss. I loved the feeling of us getting more comfortable with each other; the idea of getting to start every morning with him like this one day, finally escaping the nervousness that came with every beginning, longing for that sense of comfort that only grew from loving familiarity.

"Is everyone awake?" I asked, taking a sip, feeling the warmth of the coffee trickle all the way down. He always made it a little extra sweet for me, suiting, coming from him. But truth is, I'd love anything he made for me; no wonder he always knew my favorites.

He was the one who created them all.

"Almost everyone." He said, avoiding my eyes. I knew that meant Jake was still sleeping, which I was partly thankful for if we were going to go downstairs. At least he wouldn't catch me coming down from Josh's room, though I'm sure he would suspect it regardless.

"Are you guys gonna practice today?" He shrugged, taking another sip.

"I kinda.. wanted to take a break, while we can." He muttered. I really hoped he wasn't starting to second guess everything. Not after what Jake had said last night. Because he was right, Josh could do anything, he was so good at so many things, possibilities were endless for him, but for Jake, music was everything. And he needed Josh.

"Maybe.. you can help me film a little more today?" He asked, timidly peeking over at me, his lips finally curling into a smile. How could I ever say no to that smile.

"What were you thinking?"

"Just.. our usual stuff. Mom also asked if I'd help her with the shopping for Thanksgiving so, I figured.. maybe you and I could head into town and we could take care of it." I bit down on my lip, nodding, loving the idea of getting to spend the day with him, getting to experience the little things that everyone else got to do with their person that I had missed out on all these years.

"I'd like that." I finally said, taking another sip before placing my cup down on the end table, and crawling over, curling up in his lap. He wrapped his arm around me, pulling me in close, gently kissing my forehead.

"Okay, great. And.. well, since we're home, I was wondering if.. maybe I could.. take you out tonight." He said softly, his cheeks burning red. I peeked up at him, unable to contain my excited grin.

"You mean.. like a date?" I asked. He nodded, giggling to himself.

"Yes. Like a date."