When we pulled back up to the house, I could already see their driveway full of cars. I couldn't say I was shocked that their mom had invited the whole neighborhood over to celebrate them coming back home, but I kind of hoped for at least one quiet night home with just them. I was exhausted, so I could only imagine how they felt. But even still, I knew they were always up for a party.

"I swear I didn't know she was doing this." Josh laughed, turning to face me as he parked the car. "If.. you're not up for it, I can walk you into your house, it's no problem. I understand-"

"No, it's okay, I want to come." I insisted, knowing it just meant that much more time with him.

"Okay, but if you're ready to go-"

"I'll let you know, don't worry." I said. He nodded, flashing me an excited grin as he got out, coming around to my side of the car and opening the door for me. He leaned down, holding out his hand. I took it, wanting nothing more than for him to just kiss me again like he always did, but I guess for now, I was going to have to be okay with this.

And I was.

Whatever he was comfortable with.

As we walked through the front door, a few people turned and cheered, congratulating him, trying to push and pull him in every which way, instantly hounding him with questions about the tour.

"I'll go get a drink." I said, insisting he stayed, motioning over towards everyone. "You stay." He nodded, giving my hand another gentle squeeze before letting go.

In the kitchen, I was surprised to see Jake standing alone at counter, pouring himself a drink. I thought out of anyone, he would be the one with the most people surrounding him. When he turned around, his eyes instantly lit up as they met mine, a gentle smile escaping his lips.

"There you are." He said, turning back towards the bar. He looked around, grabbing a glass and the closest bottle, and when he turned to face me, he held out a glass of red wine. I couldn't help but smile, feeling my cheeks burn.

He had listened.

"Thank you." I said, taking a sip, turning away to try and hide my blushing face.

"See, I know you." He said, playfully nudging me.

"Mhm.." I said, smirking back up at him. "Who knew you had so many fans already?" He rolled his eyes, taking another sip of his drink.

"Hardly." He laughed. "Everyone just loves a good party and free drinks."

"That's not why they're here. You know they love you. We all just want to celebrate you." He shrugged.

"Yeah, well, then they sure like to celebrate a lot."

"That's because it's so easy to celebrate you." I sighed, taking another sip, now leaning back against the counter. He stayed quiet, holding his stare on me.

"Really?" He asked. And not in his usual joking manner, but.. I could tell that this time, he was genuinely asking. He didn't believe it anymore.

"Jake, I know what happened sucks but.. you'll be back out there again. I know you will. It's gonna be okay." He nodded, forcing a smile.

"I don't regret it though." He muttered, avoiding my eyes. "You know I'll always protect you."

"I know." I said. "And.. thank you. I know you wouldn't let anything happen." He forced another tired smile, taking another sip of his drink.

"You look exhausted." I giggled, playfully shoving him again.

"Cause I am." He laughed. "It was nice of Mom to do this but.. I just.. wanted a quiet night in, I guess." I hesitated for a moment, looking around before grabbing the bottle of wine and motioned towards the stairs. His eyes got wide, his smile growing as he quickly followed me up and into his room, where he shut the door behind us.

The instant silence that overcame the room was like a breath of fresh air, the muffled laughter of the party fading into the background as he made his way over, placing his glass down on his end table before plopping down onto his bed.

"I missed this." He sighed, hiding his face in his pillow, taking a deep breath. I stood back for a moment, just admiring him, thinking back on the last time I was in here with him. How different things were now. He eventually peeked up at me, holding out his hand, motioning for me to come over. I felt my cheeks burn as I kicked off my shoes, sitting down on the edge of his bed, not wanting to get too comfortable, but.. Josh did say that he wanted me to be there for Jake, if he needed it. And of course I still cared about him, so being here for him was the least I could do.

He gently grabbed onto my shirt, pulling me in closer.

"Come here." He whispered, sliding over to make room for me. I wasn't sure how far was too far, after all, Josh and I weren't together but, in my mind, I wanted to be. So I didn't want to do anything that would hurt him, regardless of where we stood. I took another big sip, finishing the rest of my drink before placing the empty glass down on the other end table, sliding in closer. He reached over for my hand, giggling to himself.

"Can you just lay with me for a second?" He asked. "That's all." I bit down on my lip, shaking my head, knowing that that would never be all this was. This was how we always started, and next thing I knew, I was waking up next to him the following morning with my clothes scattered around his room.

He sighed, propping his head up onto his hand as he stared up at me with dazed eyes and a gentle smile. His cheeks already flushed from the alcohol as he licked off any trace of it from his lips. I'm sure that despite his poor taste in liquor, they were still just as sweet as I remembered.

I could tell the wine was already starting to hit, now feeling my body get warmer, radiating out from my cheeks. He reached up, caressing my face as he gently rubbed his thumb against my cheek.

"You are so beautiful, Jaime." He said softly, his smile growing. It was contagious, making my heart beat faster the longer he stared at me like that. Like I truly was everything.

"Jake.."

"I'm just saying." He sighed. I carefully climbed up onto his bed, now lying down on top of him, staring back up with my head propped up onto my hands. He reached over, slowly running his fingers through my hair as we sat in silence, locked in each other's gaze, intoxicated on tension and potential.

"Well, you can't 'just say'" I laughed. His smile grew, his cheeks burning red again.

"I can't tell you that you're beautiful?" He asked. I shook my head.

"No. Not if you're gonna look at me like that."

"Like what?"

"Like you want to kiss me."

"I do want to kiss you." He whispered. My heart jumped.

"Well, you can't."

"Okay." He said, now avoiding my eyes. "I wouldn't want to if you didn't want me to anyway."

But I did want him to.

More than I would ever admit.

But I couldn't.

I knew it would pass.

"But just know.." He added. "If you ever wanted to kiss me, you'd never have to ask."

"I kinda figured." I giggled. He smirked back at me, scrunching up his face as he reached out for me again, pulling me in closer. This time I let him, lying down on his chest as he wrapped his arms around me, the sound of his rapidly beating heart now echoing in my ear. I cuddled closer, nuzzling my face in his neck as I felt his hand gently gliding up and down my back.

"Can I see stuff that you've written?" He asked. I peeked up at him, a timid smile escaping from my lips.

"Maybe." I laughed. "What made you think of that?" He shrugged, continuing to trace hearts along my back, thinking I didn't notice.

"Well, Josh said they were really good, so.. I just wanted to see for myself, I guess." He said softly, his voice trailing off. I could tell that he was partly hurt that Josh had gotten to read anything before him.

But it was always easier sharing with someone else. The idea of Jake reading anything I had ever written about him.. was terrifying.

"I just want to know what's gonna be the thing that takes you away from me again." He sighed. My heart dropped.

"What do you mean?"

"Because.. I know you're gonna get in, Jaime. Even without reading anything, I just.. I know that.. whatever you decide to do, you're going to be amazing. And.. I can't wait to see you be great." I couldn't help but smile, trying my hardest not to let my eyes will with tears. It was partly the alcohol, always making me feel way too much, way too often, but also just any time he was brave enough to actually be vulnerable with me, it was always enough to make me cry those happy tears he had always promised. I cuddled closer, my lips gently grazing his neck, hearing him let out a deep sigh.

"You're going to be great too." I said. "You've always been great. It's so amazing to watch." He was quiet for a moment, his hand slowly gliding up the back of my shirt, continuing to trace hearts with his fingers across my bare skin.

"I just don't know what I'm gonna do if this doesn't work out. I don't have anything else. You and Josh, you have your writing, and film, and.. there's so much you can do. But I.. I only have this. And.. I know it's a long shot and.. I guess it just.. hurts. Because sometimes you only get one shot and I feel like I blew it."

"You didn't blow it, Jake. It just.. it wasn't right for you. You were way too good for them anyway, and you know it." I heard him quietly giggle in my ear, holding my tighter.

"Oh, I love you.." He sighed, so softly, so sweet, like he didn't expect anything in return, making it that much easier to love him.

"I love you too."