I don't think either of us slept at all that night, not wanting to miss a single moment of each other despite how hard it became just to keep our eyes open. Gentle touches and soft and tired kisses, fading in and out of consciousness, no longer able to differentiate real life from our dreams, but at this point, the lines had already been blurred enough.

By now I had crawled on top of him, nuzzling my face into his neck as he gently ran his fingers up and down my bare back.

"Don't go." I finally sighed, feeling my heart get a little heavier every time I thought about the idea of him driving off and disappearing into the horizon. Every second together would only make every second apart that much more excruciating.

"Come with me." He said, his hands slowly moving into my hair, gently brushing his fingers through. I finally closed my eyes, letting my mind start to wander into the potential of these hypotheticals.

"Where would I even stay?" I whispered, my grip on him slowly getting looser and looser.

"With me." He said simply. "There would be room in the van, and the few times we'd get hotels, you could stay with me, and-"

"And what about.. everyone else?" I asked.

He knew who I meant.

"I know it's not ideal, but.. when does it finally just get to be us?" I forced my eyes back open again, propping myself up to face him. He had already closed his eyes, his hand now moving slower and slower as it glided across my lower back.

"It is us, it's just.."

"I know.." He whispered, peeking back down at me. "But.. you'll miss him too." My stomach dropped, knowing he wasn't wrong.

When other girls got into relationships, they all had their best friends to talk to about everything. Our situation was just.. more complicated than that. But that didn't mean I still wouldn't miss my best friend.

"I would, but.. it would be different." I said softly. He nodded, still not seeming convinced.

"And you know.." I added. "Me coming with you.. will mean me being around him too."

"Jaime, I could deal with anything if it meant you were with me. This is.. everything I've ever wanted, but.. it won't be the same.. if I can't have you too." He propped himself back up, running his fingers through his hair as he pulled me in close to him. I cuddled closer, nuzzling my face into his neck again, breathing in what lingered of his cologne, but at this point all that really remained was just the smell of him, which I preferred.

"Tomorrow.. when I go to pick up my mom, I'll.. I'll see how she feels about everything and what the doctors say and then.. maybe-"

"I like maybe." He giggled, gently kissing my forehead.

"You know it's not because I don't want to be with you, right?" I asked. I felt him nod.

"I understand."

"Because.. you leaving is going to kill me." I felt him nod again, pressing his lips back against the top of my head.

"Do you.. know how long until you'd come back home?" He shook his head.

"No, not yet. But.. it would be.. two months at least." My stomach dropped. At least?

"Two months.." I sighed.

"And I know asking someone to live out of a van for two months is a lot but-"

"That's not my concern." I said. I felt him smile, now giggling to himself.

"Oh, I like you."

"I like you too." I laughed, leaning up, gently kissing his cheek.

"I like you and love you and everything in-between.." He said softly, his eyelids starting to get heavier again.

"You're funny when you're tired." I sighed, feeling mine start to close as well.

By now the room had started getting lighter, the delicate glow of the new morning carefully peeking through my curtains, reminding us of how much time we didn't have left. Minutes felt shorter with him, despite how tightly I tried to hold onto them, knowing that no matter how much time we had left, it was never going to be enough.

"You should sleep." He muttered, moving his hand behind my neck, holding me close. I wrapped my arms around his stomach, holding on tight.

"I don't want to." His quiet laughter made my heart jump, a smile slowly escaping my lips.

"I don't really think you have a choice."

"Well, I can try."

"The sooner you fall asleep, the sooner we can go shopping for your dress for the wedding." I forced my eyes open again, smiling back up at him.

"You don't have to take me shopping."

"I know I don't have to, but.. it'll be fun. We can pick out what we're going to wear together, and.. you can tell me what looks good on me." I nodded, hiding my face in his chest again, remembering all the times he had told me how much he hated clothes shopping.

"I'd like that."

"Good, now go to sleep." He said, kissing the top of my head. "And I'll be right here when you wake up."

"Promise?" He nodded.

"I promise."

The room slowly but surely started to fade to black as I let go, letting my heavy eyes finally close.

"I love you." I managed, reaching over for his hand, intertwining our fingers. I felt his lips against my forehead again as he squeezed my hand.

"I love you more."

After the few hours of sleep we managed to get, I eventually woke up to Jake gently shaking me until I finally opened my eyes.

"Hey.." He whispered. "I'm gonna head down to practice for a little while, okay? When are you planning on picking up your mom?" I sat up, rubbing my eyes, reaching around for my phone until I finally felt it under my pillow.

Nothing yet.

I'd be sure to call her once he left.

"I'm.. I'm not sure yet, but.. I'll call."

"Okay, cause.. if you wanted, I wanted to come with you. You know, to make sure everything's okay." I nodded, smiling back up at him.

"I'll text you when I know."

"Okay." He said, pulling me into a long kiss before carefully moving me over to the other side of the bed, brushing the hair out of my face before leaning in, gently kissing my forehead.

"I'll see you later, okay?" I nodded, my eyes still adjusting to the blaring sun, shining through my window right into my face. He giggled to himself, kissing me again. "I love you."

"I love you." I sighed, cuddling back under the covers, pulling my pillow up against my chest. Even halfway unconscious I didn't have to think twice about that. He hung back in the doorway for a moment before finally heading out, quietly shutting the door behind him.

Apparently I had fallen back asleep, because it felt like seconds later I was woken back up by the sound of my phone, loudly vibrating underneath my pillow again. It took another minute for my eyes to adjust again, noticing that my room had gone from a brilliant radiance to a now warm and muted orange. How long had I been asleep?

Finally I answered it, trying my hardest to concentrate.

"Hello?"

"Hi honey!" Mom said cheerfully. "How are you?" I sighed, feeling relieved. The amount of times I had received bad news from unknown numbers, for months it had kept me from answering my phone all together.

"Hi Mom.." I managed, sitting back up. "How are you feeling? Any updates?"

"Well, they said I could come home today, which is exciting. I'll miss not having to make dinner for myself every night, but I can't wait to sleep in my own bed again." I couldn't help but laugh, knowing that I had been the one making us dinner for a few years now. It was hard enough for her to stand for more than a few minutes at a time.

"So when can I come get you?" I asked.

"Whenever you can. I don't want to rush you, if you have plans or anything.."

"I can come now. I'll let Jake know because he was saying how-"

"Jake, huh?" She asked. I could hear the smile in her voice.

"Yeah, yeah.. we can talk later." I laughed.

"Okay honey, I'll see you soon. I love you!"

"I love you."