The next morning I was woken up to the continuous sound of vibrating from under my pillow. When I finally opened my eyes, I saw Jaime lying next to me, cuddled close with her arm draped over me, her face nuzzled in my chest. I couldn't even begin to explain how much I had missed this. I gently brushed the hair out of her face, admiring her as she slept. Her eyes red, her face still blotchy from crying. It killed me to see her like this, especially knowing why.

There was something going on between her and Jake, or at least, there was. I didn't see anything happening now after what happened last night, which made me feel a little better, but I couldn't shake the thoughts I now had of them alone together, never wanting to think about what they had possibly done.

Finally I reached under her pillow, pulling out her phone as it continued to vibrate. My heart sunk. It was Jake. I felt like I was going to be sick when I saw the photo of them pop up on her screen. The both of them lying together in her bed, in this bed, so he had snuck over here, him pulling her in, kissing her hard on the cheek while her arm was wrapped around him.

When was this taken?

And then my body went cold. Was Jaime the girl he had been sneaking around with? This whole time? He was out with her this whole time while I was at home heartbroken over her.

Finally, I just couldn't take it anymore, not wanting to wake her up, I answered it.

"What do you want?" I snapped. He was quiet for a moment, I'm sure not expecting to hear from me.

"Josh?" He finally asked.

"What did you do to her?"

"What are you doing there?"

"What did you do to her, Jake?" I asked again, feeling my body get hot with anger, trying my best to stay quiet for her.

"I didn't do anything to her." He sighed. "It was Cait, and she-"

"And you just couldn't control yourself, right?" I asked, having heard this story a million times, but never in a million years did I think he could ever do something like this to Jaime, my Jaime, or I guess now.. our Jaime.

"Nothing happened, please, I need to talk to her, she needs to know. I would never do that to her. I didn't do anything, Josh." He pleaded. I had never heard him sound like this before.

"What's been going on with you two?" I finally asked, despite knowing that no matter what the answer was, it was going to kill me.

"You don't want to talk about this." He said softly. He was right, I didn't, but not knowing hurt me even more.

"Have you been sneaking around with her?" I asked again, carefully climbing out of her bed, going over to the other side of the room. I looked out her window to see the light on in Jake's room. It didn't help.

"Can I please just talk to her?" He begged. I bit down on my lip, peeking back over at her as she rolled over, tightly hugging one of her pillows against her chest.

"She's sleeping."

"Did you stay with her last night?" He asked.

"Yeah." He was quiet again.

"Thank you for taking care of her."

"Well, someone had to." I muttered.

"Did.. anything happen between you two?" I felt my cheeks burn.

"That's none of your business." I said plainly.

"You're right."

"She clearly has feelings for you, Jake. After that night.. in your room, she told me that they went away, but.. I know they didn't. And whatever you said, or whatever you did.. you hurt her. You hurt her, and I'm the one that had to clean her up and take care of her."

"Josh, I know I've fucked up in the past when it comes to stuff like this.." I laughed, rolling my eyes.

"Stuff like this? You mean.. people's feelings?"

"Can I please just talk to her? I need to explain. It can't end like this."

End? So.. they were involved.. in some way.

"I think that you should just.. give her some time." I finally said, peeking back over at her.

"You mean, give you some time." He snapped.

"No. I mean give her some time." I said, hanging up the phone.

I had never heard him get this worked up over a girl before. He would always just.. take the loss and move on. And to see her so upset, so completely heartbroken over him?

Finally, she sluggishly rolled back over, sitting up and rubbing her eyes before looking up at me, a small smile spreading across her lips.

"You stayed?" She asked. I nodded, smiling back as I went over, sitting down next to her on the edge of her bed.

"Of course I stayed." She reached up, gently running her fingers down my cheek.

"Thank you." She sighed, staring back at me with tired eyes, still bloodshot and sad.

"It's no problem." I shrugged, moving closer.

"I mean, for everything. I.. I was a mess and.. you.. you're always so patient and kind and.. I don't deserve you." She said softly, reaching over for my hand. I felt my heart beat faster, my cheeks burn red.

"I wish you'd stop saying that." I sighed, slowly intertwining our fingers. "You deserve the world, Jaime. And.. well, I.. I would do anything to give it to you." She reached up, gently caressing my cheek.

"Really?"

Of course I would. And now that this happened, maybe she would want me again. But.. is that how I wanted this to play out? Her with me only because Jake messed up? And.. what if he was telling the truth? What if he really.. didn't mess up? What if I was the one standing in the way of them being happy together?

"Jake called." I blurted out, knowing she had to make this decision on her own. Her face dropped as she pulled her hand away.

"Oh." I handed her her phone and watched as she scrolled through the many missed calls and texts, eventually tossing it away.

"Jaime, w-what's going on between you two?" I asked. She shook her head, avoiding my eyes.

"Nothing." She said plainly, now reaching for his necklace. My heart sunk.

I could tell it was far from nothing.

"You should talk to him." I sighed, pushing myself up from her bed.

"Where are you going?" She asked, reaching out for me. I stopped, leaning back in her doorway.

"You should call him, but.. I don't want to be here when you do." Her face dropped as she crawled over to me, reaching out for me again. I hesitated before moving closer, letting her grab onto my shirt, pulling me in.

"I don't want to talk to him, I want to be with y-"

"I think.. before you make any decisions, that you should at least hear him out." She finally let go, moving away as she reached back over for her phone.

"When I'm done, can you come b-"

"If you want me to come back, just let me know, okay?" I said, forcing a smile. She nodded, holding her stare on me as I went over, pulling her in, kissing her forehead before finally forcing myself to leave, shutting the door behind me.

12 missed calls.

23 unread text messages.

I couldn't help but think back on when Jake would talk about his "crazy exes," and how he'd wake up to a phone full from them, wondering how anyone could be so insane.

Funny how things changed.

I stared down at his contact, unable to press call. What would I even say to him? What could he possibly have to say to me? I saw them together. There was nothing else to it. He couldn't even wait a few minutes before jumping right onto the next one, and I couldn't live the rest of my life wondering who I'd walk in on him with next.

But with Josh, I knew I would never have to worry about that. He wanted to give me the world, so why shouldn't I let him? He would never hurt me, and I knew that. I knew I could go to sleep every night and wake up to him, feeling the same way about me, if not more, each morning. And isn't that what we all want? Someone who never made us second guess ourselves? Or them?

But despite all of that, I knew what I wanted.

I just wish it didn't have to hurt so bad.

I finally forced myself to press call.

He answered on the first ring.

"Jaime.." He sighed.

"Hi."

"Jaime, can I please see you? I need to talk to you, please just let me explain."

"We.. we can talk here." I muttered, knowing that as soon as he was in front of me, I wouldn't be able to think clearly.

"It's not what you think, I swear, she came out and found me and she came onto me, she did that, I didn't want that, I was waiting for you. I just.. I just wanted some alone time.. with you." I felt my heart start beating faster, tears coming to my eyes again. As badly as I wanted to believe him, I had seem him with other girls too many times to just be able to blindly trust him in a situation like this. I would be naive to think that for some reason, I was any different than the rest of them.

But even still.. all I really wanted was just to be held by him.

"The front door is unlocked." I finally said, wiping my face, not wanting him to know I had been crying.

"I'll be right there." He said, instantly hanging up. I tossed my phone to the side, curling back under my blankets, hiding my face in my pillow.

It wasn't long before I heard a knock on my door. I looked out from my pillow to see Jake popping his head in the doorway, making his way in with flowers in hand; large, showy, white colored tulips, tied together with a white ribbon. I couldn't help but smile, sitting up to face him. He timidly came over, sitting down close to me on the bed, nervously handing them to me.

"These are beautiful." I said, inhaling their strong floral scent. "But.. w-when did you-"

"This morning." He shrugged, keeping his eyes locked on them.

"Well.. thank you." I muttered. He nodded, his smile growing, but quickly faded away. I reached over, placing them down on my end table next to the old bouquet from Josh. I saw him look over, his face dropping, instantly bringing his attention back to me.

His eyes were tired and sad, looking like he hadn't gotten a wink of sleep all night. He kept his distance, holding his stare on me as if waiting for permission to come closer. I had never experienced this Jake before. And then I remembered what my mom had said.

People make mistakes, Jaime. But.. if it's worth keeping them in your life, then sometimes it's worth it to forgive them. Especially if they're trying to make it up to you.

And I wanted to forgive him, but how many times was I expected to before I was stupid for believing him?

I reached up, gently touching his cheek. He moved in closer, resting his hand on my leg as he leaned in further.

"Jaime, I don't want to ruin this with you. I didn't do anything with her, I swear. She just.. she climbed on top of me and I just.. I froze, I.. I didn't want her to, I pushed her off, but-"

"I believe you." I sighed. "And.. I'm sorry that happened to you." He stopped, his face finally relaxing as he leaned in, gently kissing my cheek.

"You don't have to be sorry."

"I know, but.. that wasn't fair to you either." He bit down on his lip, his cheeks burning red.

"It happens." He shrugged, avoiding my eyes.

"But it shouldn't." He hesitated for a moment before nodding, peeking back up at me.

I crawled onto his lap, wrapping my arms around his neck as he stared back up at me with those eyes that both terrified me and made me feel at home, melting into the hands I so desperately wanted to trust with holding my heart, but still unsure if he had the ability to hold it close enough, keeping it safe. Then I saw his eyes move down to his necklace, giving me a gentle smile. I slowly ran my fingers down his arm until I felt my pink scrunchie on his wrist.

"I have to get you something a little nicer than this." I laughed, leaning my forehead against his. He shook his head.

"No, I like it." He giggled to himself, sliding it off and pulling his hair up into a bun. "And I know you like it too." My heart jumped, my face getting hot again. I nodded, now holding his face in my hands, pulling him into a gentle kiss. I felt his hands move to my waist, pulling me up against him as he kissed me back harder.

"Jake.." I sighed, backing away. He reached up, going to pull me back in.

"W-wait. I just.." I started, leaning back. He stared back up at me, his face dropping.

"Y-you know I have feelings for you.." I said. He nodded, smirking back at me.

"And you know I have feelings for you. Though.. I think feelings is a bit of an understatement." I couldn't help but smile, shaking my head.

"Stop." I laughed. "I need to say this." He nodded.

"Sorry."

"You know I have feelings for you, but.. I mean.. I just.. I know too much, and it's hard to completely trust you when-"

"What do you need me to do?" He asked.

"W-what?"

"What do you need me to do in order to be able to trust me, Jaime? I'll do anything."

"There's.. there's nothing you can do, I just.. I need time." He nodded, his face dropping.

"Okay." I leaned in, kissing him again.

"But I want to, I want you, I just-"

"I know." He said softly, running his fingers through my hair. "It's okay. I understand."

He pulled me into another long, passionate kiss before reaching back into his pocket, pulling out a piece of paper, gently placing it in my hand.

"What's this?" I asked, opening it. He quickly stopped me, shaking his head.

"N-no. Not while I'm here."

"What is it?" I laughed, now trying to peek inside. He shook his head again, folding it back up.

"So.. I wrote you this. It's a letter.. about how I feel about you. I wrote it last night. I'm sorry I have such a hard time with talking about these kind of things but.. I'm going to work on it, I promise. But until then, I've realized that.. this is so much easier for me, so.. hopefully this is okay. But can you just.. wait until I'm gone until you read it?"

I couldn't help but smile, feeling tears come to my eyes again, but this time for a different reason. I nodded, leaning over and placing the letter on my end table, and then pulled him into a deep, long kiss.

"Can you leave now?" I laughed. He shook his head, giggling to himself as he pulled me back into a series of kisses.

"Not a chance."