I quickly made my way downstairs, opening the door to see Josh standing there, already grinning back at me. His smile was always so contagious.

"Hi.." I managed, making my way past him, suddenly overly conscious of how flushed my face was, still catching my breath.

"Hey." He laughed, following close behind. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to rush you." He went over to the passenger's side of his car, opening the door for me.

"Y-you.. you don't have to do that anymore." I said. He shrugged.

"Sure I do."

Even still, he was.. so kind.

He quickly made his way around to the driver's side, hopping in and driving off.

"So, tonight should be fun. Not too many people so.." He said, keeping his eyes forward. I knew what he meant, always aware of how I got with bigger groups of people. I appreciated that he still remembered things like this.

"How is she?" He asked, now peeking over at me.

"How is who?"

"Your mom." He giggled. "Is she feeling okay today?"

"O-oh, y-yeah. Today.. today was a good day." I muttered, avoiding his eyes. I felt bad lying to him, but I knew anything would be better than him knowing the truth about what was really going on. He was kind now, but I couldn't imagine him staying like this if he knew about Jake.

"Well that's good. And.. if you ever.. wanted company, I.. I wouldn't mind, I could still come with you. I know that, well, you know, things are a little different now but.. I'm still here for you if you ever need me."

"Thank you, Josh." I said softly, turning to face him. He gave me another subtle smile, reaching over, gently touching my hand. My heart jumped, carefully pulling it away. His face dropped.

"I'm.. I'm sorry." He muttered.

"N-no, it's okay, it's just.. I.. I don't want anyone.. getting mixed feelings."

"Jaime, I am always going to have feelings for you." He said simply. "It's just a matter of.. how you feel about me. And.. I can be patient, I can be whatever you need me to be, that's okay." I couldn't help but smile, feeling my cheeks burn.

"You're too good for me." I sighed, looking back down at his hands. He shook his head.

"I don't believe that. You can't help how you feel, I understand that, but.. I'll be here.. whenever you're ready."

If I would ever be ready.

And it wouldn't be fair to make him wait forever.

"Josh, I-"

"We don't have to talk about this tonight. It's okay. I just.. I missed you, and I wanted to see you, and I thought you'd have fun, getting a break from all that hospital stuff, so.. we can just leave it at that if you want." He said, gently touching my hand again. This time I let him.

"Okay."

As we pulled up to Danny's, I could already hear everyone in the backyard, no doubt having already started drinking, so I knew I'd have to be quick to catch up if the night was going to be at all bearable.

"And.. if any of the guys give you a hard time, don't worry about it. I told them what happened with us but.. I don't want them to make you feel uncomfortable. I told them not to say anything but.. you know how they get." He giggled to himself, getting out of the car.

I wondered what he had told them.

He came around to my side of the car, opening the door for me with that same kind smile. As we made our way towards the backyard, out of habit, I reached out for his hand, but quickly pulled away once I realized.

"It's okay." He giggled, holding his hand back out. "You can if you want to, if it makes you feel better, I don't mind, I.. I kinda miss it." As much as it did make me feel better, especially at times like this, I had promised Jake that nothing would happen with him. It was bad enough that we were spending this time alone. I knew after everything, I would be angry if I found out Jake was being like this with someone else.

But deep down I knew that something in me would always be drawn to him.

"I'm okay." I said softly, shoving my hands into my pockets as I continued through the gate, now being met with people scattered about. Most in or around the pool, some off in the hot tub while the rest gathered around the drink table.

"What are you drinking?" Josh asked, leaning in close, taking my bags from me. "You still a wine drinker? It's been so long since I've gotten you something." He joked, winking at me. I smirked back up at him, nodding.

"You got it." I watched as he went over to the table, leaving my bag over near two chairs next to the hot tub.

"The hot tub" was just another one of the many things that the couples would enjoy together while Josh and I would stay in the pool, or wander off on our own somewhere, so I assumed that's what would be happening again tonight since I wasn't technically with anyone.

"Here you go." He said, handing me my cup, flashing me another wide grin.

"Thank you." I took a big sip, continuing to look around until my stomach dropped, seeing Cait walk through the back gate.

"What is she doing here?" I asked, leaning in close, whispering into his ear.

"I wonder if that's who Jake has been sneaking around with." He said. "He won't tell anyone, so.. maybe that's why. Cause he knows we'd give him a hard time if he went back to her."

"Y-yeah.. maybe." I said softly, taking another big sip.

"I just feel bad that he always needs to be with someone. He just.. doesn't know how to be alone."

But I knew that wasn't the case.

So what was she doing here?

Was he still talking to her?

After having the nerve to tell me not to be alone with Josh?

I could tell I was going to need much more to drink if I was going to get through tonight.

"You wanna go in?" He asked, motioning towards the pool. I nodded, downing the rest of my drink before pulling off my shirt and sliding off my shorts, tucking them under my arm.

"Here, I'll get you some more first." He laughed, taking my cup and going back over to the drink table. I could already start to feel it working, my body slowly but surely getting warmer from within, the anxiety of the party subsiding as it began to feel like just him and I again.

"Here you go." He said, handing me back my cup. I flashed him a wide grin, my cheeks burning.

"Thank you." His smile grew as he held his stare on me.

"I can see it's already working." He laughed, wrapping his arm around me. "Come on, I'll make sure you don't drown."

Some of my favorite nights when we were kids were the ones we spent together swimming in Danny's pool. There was just something about the now chilled summer air against your wet hair when you reached the surface, the dazzling glow of the fireflies above you as the fun carried on long after the sun went down, always followed by gathering around a bon fire, stuffing your face with as many s'mores as you could manage before your stomach began to hurt.

After losing count of how many cups I had finished, Josh swam up beside me, leaning against the side of the pool.

"Having fun?" He asked, pushing the wet hair out of his face. I nodded, feeling my body get hot again. He peeked into my cup, shaking his head.

"You're empty again?" He laughed, taking it from my hands. "I think I might need to cut you off."

"I'm fine." I teased, leaning in closer, gently rubbing my nose against his. He bit down on his lip, holding his stare on me.

"I'll.. I'll go get you another." He said, quickly making his way over to the stairs and back over to the drink table.

And then I heard the sound of the back gate, my heart instantly jumping at the sight of Jake walking through, his hair pulled back in a familiar scrunchie, his shirt unbuttoned leaving his chest exposed, still wearing his sunglasses despite the sky having already faded from a blistering orange to a subdued blue. I couldn't take my eyes off of him as he made his way across the lawn, heading straight for the drink table. I watched as he talked to Josh, eventually turning towards me, his lips curling into a timid smile as he finally started to make his way over.

He tossed his stuff down next to mine before leaning down close to me.

"You have him getting you drinks now?" I reached up, gently grabbing onto his shirt, pulling him in closer.

"What took you so long? I've been waiting for you." His smile grew, his cheeks now burning red.

"Ah, I can see he's gotten you a lot too."

"Are you gonna come in?" I asked, wanting nothing more than to have him closer. It was taking everything in me not to just pull him in as is.

"Yeah, I'll be right there." He said, gently touching my cheeks before looking over at Josh who was now making his way back. He then leaned in close, whispering into my ear. "But.. after this one, I want to be the one getting you your drinks tonight, okay?" I nodded, biting down on my lip, feeling my heart beat faster.

"Okay."

He then quickly moved away as Josh came back, leaning down, handing me my cup.

"Here you go." He said sweetly, hopping back into the pool next to me. I flashed him a smile, turning back around to see Jake sliding off his shirt, letting his hair down, keeping my scrunchie on his wrist before jumping right in.

"Well, look who's here." I heard from behind me. I turned around to see Cait standing over us, her eyes already glued to Jake as he started swimming over towards me. When he reached the edge, he looked up, glaring back at her.

"Hey Jake." She said cheerfully, flashing him a big, fake smile. I could feel my body getting hot, the anger radiating out of me like a raging furnace.

"Hi Cait." He said simply, turning around, facing his back towards her. Then my heart jumped at the feeling of his leg brushing up against mine under the water, his fingers gently tracing up my spine.

It was torture being around him like this and not getting to act on it.

"What are you doing here?" He asked.

"The whole neighborhood is here, Jake. Why wouldn't I come?" She snapped, now pulling off her shirt and sliding out of her shorts. I looked away, trying my best to ignore the fact that she was absolutely stunning, and there was no way he'd want to look at me with her walking around looking like that.

"Whatever." He mumbled, now turning to face me. "This suit looks great on you, Jaime." He said, looking me up and down. I couldn't help but smile, feeling my heart racing.

"Thank you." I said, moving closer, gently grabbing his arm. Josh then swam over, no doubt noticing what was happening.

"Jake, I think Danny needs help over by the-"

"Then why don't you go help him?" Jake said simply, cutting him off, his eyes never once straying away from mine. He reached up, caressing my cheek.

"Well, I just think that you-"

"I just got here."

Josh's face dropped, now glaring back at Jake, motioning away. He then sighed, reaching over for my cup before moving closer to me.

"Don't worry, I'll top this off for you. Be right back." He said, winking at me before climbing back out of the pool. I watched him as he made his way over towards the drink table, trying my best to ignore Cait trailing along behind, following him like a little love sick puppy, but he made it easier by never giving her a second look.

This was torture. Having to see him like this and not being able to hold him, kiss him, and so much more.. was starting to make me wonder if.. maybe I didn't

want to sneak around anymore.