I slowly made my way back down her stairs, feeling lightheaded and giddy, unable to shake the big, stupid grin from my face. It was impossible not to smile when I was around her, just the thought of her left me permanently lovesick, beaming from ear to ear.

When I got outside, I could see her at her window, smiling back down at me. All I wanted was to run back up there, but I knew it was better that I went home. I had waited this long for her, and I wanted us to do things right, if we were.. doing anything at all.

And after all.. she was single now, right?

But I knew what came with that, and it was more than likely waiting for me on the other side of our back door.

I gave her a gentle wave before heading in, wanting to savor every moment I was lucky enough just to be looked at by her. Not even the hundreds, thousands of people in any audience could ever compare to the way I felt when she looked at me, and I knew I'd spend my entire life chasing this feeling, forever.

Before going back into her room, she blew me a kiss, my heart jumping at the sound of her quiet laughter. I pretended to grab it, placing it on my lips, instantly regretting how lame it probably looked, but it made her smile.

And I would do anything just to make her smile.

When I got back inside, I quietly made my way into the kitchen, not wanting to risk waking anyone up. I couldn't even tell you what time it was, I always lost track of time with her, but I knew it was late, and the last thing I wanted was to have to explain where I was all night, especially to-

"Hey, where have you been?" I heard from behind me. My body went cold as I turned to see Josh peeking his head out from the fridge.

"O-oh, um.. just out." I said, as calmly as I could manage. He nodded, shutting the door, going back over to the counter.

"A date?" He asked. My stomach dropped.

"What?"

"Out with a new girlfriend?" A knot instantly formed in the pit of my stomach.

"Um.. m-maybe. We'll see." He giggled to himself, leaning back in his chair.

"What, not sure about this one yet?" I shrugged, trying my best to hide my blushing face.

"N-not quiet, I.. I'm not really sure how.. she feels-"

"Ah. Got it." He sighed. "Well, I'm sure she'll come around, they always do for you, right?"

I could tell he was upset, and was more than likely waiting for me to ask him about it. Josh and I talked about everything, but more often than not, we really didn't have to talk about things, we just knew. But there was no way for me to know about this. So it was best if I just played along.

"Are you okay?" I finally asked, going over to him. He shrugged, avoiding my eyes.

"Jaime and I broke up." He said simply. I was surprised at how little prying it took to get it out of him.

"Oh. I'm sorry." He shrugged again.

"Yeah."

"How are you holding up?"

"I guess okay, you know, considering.."

"Yeah."

"We don't have to talk about it, it's okay. I just.. I figured I should tell you." He said softly.

"W-why me?" He smirked back at me.

"Because.. we tell each other everything?" I let out a deep sigh.

"Right. Yeah."

All I wanted to do was go up to my room but it felt wrong just leaving him alone down here like this.

"You seemed happy when you came in, did it at least go well?"

"Did what go well?"

"Your date." He laughed. I nodded, avoiding his eyes.

"Oh, y-yeah, I mean.. it.. it wasn't really a date, I guess, just.. just hanging out." I muttered.

"You really like to keep things casual, huh?" He asked.

"I'm just.. seeing where it's going."

"Well, I bet if you brought her to one of the band practices, that would persuade her for sure. Girls love guys in bands, right?" I nodded, feeling my face get hot again.

"Y-yeah. Maybe. But.. we're leaving for tour soon so.."

"Yeah." He sighed. "I guess that'll make this whole thing a little easier, not having to see her everyday."

"Who?"

"Jaime."

My heart sunk at the idea of leaving her, as I'm sure did his.

"We're still friends.." He added. "But.. I don't know, I feel like.. once you sleep together-" My heart sunk. They had slept together? Is that what she was talking about the other night? Suddenly I couldn't think straight, my heart started to pound, my body feeling hot. I could feel my shirt starting to stick to my back as I began to sweat, my hands clenching into fists, but I knew I had to stay calm.

"I.. I didn't know that you guys-"

"Yeah. Only a few times." I felt like I was going to be sick. A few times?

"Oh.." I managed, feeling the jealously growing.

"I guess we'll see though. She said we could still see each other so.." He sighed, his voice trailing off. Still see each other? What did that mean? She still wanted to hook up with him but.. not date him?

I quickly shook the thought, now starting to sound like my ex girlfriends when they complained to me. I'm sure that wasn't the case. Jaime wasn't like that. She wouldn't do that.. right?

"When you say still.. see each other.." I pried, knowing I wouldn't be able to sleep until I was sure what that meant. He shrugged.

"I don't know, as friends, I guess. She didn't really seem into doing that anymore, which I understand. But.. I don't know, maybe she'll come around. It seemed to get better, I think she just needs some time and then.. maybe we'll pick back up where we left off." I quickly tuned him out, not wanting to hear him talk about her like that. I could only image just how red my face was at this point, needing to get out of there before I snapped.

"I'm sure it'll be okay." I said, now making my way towards the stairs.

"Yeah.." He said softly. I hung back for a moment, waiting to see if he kept talking, but he didn't. I took this as an opportunity to quickly make my way up the stairs, two steps at a time, before going into my room, shutting the door behind me.

So things really.. weren't over between them? I wanted to ask her about it, but at the same time.. it really wasn't my business. We hadn't really talked about what we were, not that we were anything yet, but..

I shook the thought.

I was getting ahead of myself.

What was happening?

I had never been this worked up over a girl before.

It was.. awful, not knowing where you stood with someone you wanted everything with.

I plopped down on my bed, taking out my phone.

No new messages.

She hadn't said anything, but.. part of me hoped she would have sent me.. something. I opened our messages again, reading through our conversation from the other night, catching myself smiling at my screen again.

hey I had fun tonight. maybe next time

I stopped, quickly deleting everything. Fun? I would probably just embarrass myself before anything happened between us. Why was it so hard to talk to her now?

you're probably sleeping by now but i got you a nice necklace so you don't have to worry about taking it off. that's if you wanted to keep it on.

I deleted everything again, tossing my phone to the side.

I was just being stupid. This was humiliating.

Even still, all I wanted to do was see her, talk to her at least.

I pressed call.

It rang three times before she finally answered.

"Hey.." She whispered, sounding like I had woken her up.

"Sorry, were you sleeping?"

"N-no.." She lied. "I.. I was up. It's okay."

"Oh, okay, good."

I really hadn't thought this through, feeling my heart beat faster the longer we sat in silence again, all I knew is that I felt better when I knew she was around, no matter the extent.

"So, w-what's going on?" She laughed. "Do you miss me?" My heart jumped at the sound of her quiet giggling.

"How lame would it be if I said yes?"

"Very." She laughed again. My face began to hurt from smiling so much.

"Then.. no."

"You're funny." She sighed. "You know, you didn't have to rush out like that. I wouldn't have minded if you stayed.. a little longer."

She has no idea how badly I wanted to stay with her.

"Jaime, can I.. can I talk to you?"

"Isn't that what we're doing?" She asked. I could hear the smile in her voice.

"I mean.. not on the phone. Can you come out outside?"

"See, this would have been a whole lot easier if you just stayed." I bit down on my lip, a smile escaping my lips.

"Jaime.."

"Okay, okay. I'll be right out."

I quickly made my way over, peeking my head out of my door to see the light on in Josh's room, praying he had gone to bed. As quietly as I could, I snuck back downstairs, slipping out the door, making my way over to her house. I didn't have to wait long before I heard the squeaking of her back door, loudly slamming against her house as she came back out, tightly crossing her arms across her chest. I didn't hesitate to slip off my sweater, wrapping it around her.

"So, what couldn't wait that you had to bring me out here in the middle of the night?" She giggled, moving in closer. I gently pulled her from the light of her doorway, out of sight from our house, afraid that.. someone might be watching.

"I was talking to Josh." I said. "And.. well, he told me about you guys. About what happened." She stared back at me confused, until her face dropped, her eyes getting wide.

"O-oh. He told you.." She whispered. I nodded.

"He seems.. pretty upset about what happened, Jaime." She bit down on her lip, holding her stare on me as she tightly clutched my sweater. My heart started beating faster as I slowly reached out for her, pulling her in closer to me.

"So, I just think that.. if we're gonna.. see each other, then.. we should probably just.. keep this between us." She was quiet for a moment, leaning in further as she reached up for my arm, holding me closer. My eyes moved down to her lips as hers did the same.

"What, friends can't see each other?" She asked, smirking up at me. My smile grew, my face now feeling like it was on fire.

"So.. we're just.. friends?" I asked, leaning in further. She eventually backed away just before my lips could brush against hers.

"Mhm.." She hummed, staring back at me in such a way that it felt like she was looking right through me, like she knew what she was doing to me, how easy it was to get lost in those eyes, wanting to taste those lips again, but this time have hers be just as welcoming to mine, wanting mine just as badly as I wanted hers.

"Is there anything else you want to talk about?" She asked. I shook my head, my mind going completely blank the longer those hypnotic eyes kept me locked in her trance.

"Alright" She then reached up, gently caressing my face and pulled me in close to her, gently kissing my cheek before heading back up to her door. Before going back inside, she turned to me, flashing me a timid smile, blowing me another kiss. I pretended to catch it, placing it on my lips again. She shook her head, rolling her eyes as she giggled to herself, shutting the door behind her.

I stayed as quiet as I could as I made my way back in, plopping back down on my bed with a long sigh. My whole life, I had wanted to know what this feels like, to get so excited over the mere thought of someone, to feel like I could just combust at the slightest touch, willing to bend over backwards and then some, doing whatever it took just to make her smile.

I pulled out my phone, opening our messages again, wanting to give her a reason to answer me again in the morning.

A few seconds later, I felt my phone vibrate.