Josh answered immediately.

"Hey." I could hear the smile in his voice. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, she's doing okay today. How's the party?"

"It's alright. Not much fun without you." He said. I felt bad secretly watching him, seeing him all alone while the rest of the guys carried on with their night.

"Well, why don't you go and play with everyone? I'm sure it's no fun sitting all by yourself." His head instantly perked up, shooting over to my window, giving me a wave. I waved back, flashing him a wide grin.

"It's okay." He said, keeping his eyes locked on me. "I'm.. not really in a drinking game kind of mood."

"Well, what kind of mood are you in?" He was quiet for a moment.

"I don't know." He sighed. "Are you.. sure you don't want to come down? Even just for a little while?"

"I think I should just head to bed." I said, now feeling guilty, knowing that he would just be spending the rest of the night by himself. He had always been the life of the party, and now suddenly he was off sulking in the corner if I wasn't around.

"I understand." He muttered, peeking back up at my window. I sighed.

"Do you.. want to come up for a little?" I finally asked. He instantly jumped up from the swing.

"O-only if you want me to.." He said, already making his way across the yard towards my house. "I don't want to intrude-"

"It's okay, I want you to." I laughed. "You're lucky you're so cute." He looked back up at me, flashing me a wind grin as he quickly ran over to my door.

"It's locked."

"Yeah, well, I wasn't exactly expecting company." I said, heading downstairs. "Don't worry, I'll let you in."

As I opened the door, he was already leaning against the doorframe, hanging up the phone.

"Hi.." He beamed, his eyes instantly moving down to my lips. I playfully rolled my eyes, taking him by the hand and lead him upstairs. He followed close, shutting the door behind us as we made our way back into my bedroom.

He went over, timidly sitting down on the corner of my bed like the did the first time he came over. I couldn't help but smile, going over to him.

"You can make yourself comfortable, you know." I laughed, crawling over to him. He smiled back at me, his cheeks burning red. He hesitated before finally kicking off his shoes and crawling under the covers, reaching over for me and pulling me up against him.

He smelt freshly showered, the scent of his shampoo still lingering, mixed with the crisp night air that clung to his clothes. He reached his hand into my hair, pulling me closer, gently massaging the top of my head. I could feel my heart beating faster at the slightest touch, just wanting to bury myself within him. He was the embodiment of comfort and safety, an affectionate sanctuary made just for me, the curves of his arms perfectly contouring every inch of my body.

And then my heart jumped at the feeling of his lips brushing against my neck, slowly turning into timid kisses the longer I let him without pushing him away. They slowly made their way across my cheek as he gently turned my head to face him, pulling me into a deep, lustful kiss.

I don't know what came over me, but when his lips met mine, something was ignited within me, wanting that much more from him. I tangled my fingers in his hair, kissing him back harder, pressing my body against his as I gradually climbed into his lap. I could feel his heart pounding, his breaths getting heavier as I slowly moved my hands down his chest.

"Jaime, we don't have to.." He exhaled, leaning his forehead against mine. "That's.. I don't want you to think that's why.. I mean.. if you wanted to, but.. I-"

"You don't want to?" I asked. He bit down on his lip, staring back at me with lustful eyes.

"I.. I do, I just-" I moved my hands further down, unbuttoning his pants. He moved his hands over mine.

"Jaime, I don't want to upset you again." He said softly.

"You won't." I sighed, pulling him back into a deep kiss before lifting his shirt over his head.

Maybe it wasn't him or me, maybe it really was just something.. you had to work at in order to get better and.. I was so lucky to have someone like him to learn with.

"But what if I can't-"

"We're figuring it out together." I said, gently caressing his cheek. He bit down on his lip, trying his best to contain his smile before pulling me into another passionate kiss. I melted into his loving embrace as his hands slowly traced my body until he lifted my shirt over my head, instantly reaching behind me and unclasping my bra, sliding it off in one swift motion. I felt my body get hot, radiating from deep within as he climbed over me, unbuttoning my pants and sliding them off before pulling me back into another amorous kiss.

This was my favorite part. The wanting, the needing, showering me in his undying affection while I readily anticipated that much more, wanting to feel those fireworks with him like we had before, but in such unspeakable magnitudes that would leave us breathless but just as hungry for more.

"You're okay, right?" He exhaled. I clung to him, nodding as he pressed himself against me again, almost as if to tease me, to leave me wanting him.

"You're sure?" I nodded again, feeling like my heart was going to explode.

"Jaime.." He sighed, waiting for me to actually be sure.

"Yes." I finally managed. "I want to."

I then felt him slowly move his hand down between my legs again, gasping at the feeling of his touch. His motions started slow, the pressure gradually increasing as my body responded in sharp breaths and a tight grip, all the while continuously pulling me back into tender, enamored kisses that left me breathing him in.

I let myself get lost within the moment, trying to rid my mind of anything but how I was feeling now, which was nothing short of incredible. I could feel it building, just like it had before I allowed the anxiety of it all stop it in its tracks. But then my mind took me to the one place I had been trying to avoid.

As he reached his other hand behind my neck, I was instantly transported back to Jake's bedroom, his strong hands grasping me tightly, his starved lips kissing me in ways I've never been kissed, leaving me wanting more than I had ever wanted from anyone before. I hid my face in his neck, trying to shake the thought of Jake lying over me as the necklace he wore every day dangled in my face, his hair effortless falling over him as he showed me all the ways I never knew that I could ever want someone, but would spend every minute after chasing that feeling of him, addicted to his touch like the deadliest drug, ready to risk it all for just one last hit.

And then I felt it building, building, greater than it's ever gone before until finally my body tensed up, clinging to him tightly as what could only be compared to a bolt of lightening burst from between my hips, dispersing in jolts of ecstasy and passion as I let out a loud, satisfied moan.

"Jak-" Began to escape my lips, but was quickly disguised by a sharp, emphatic cry. I could only pray that he didn't hear it as he rolled over with an exasperated sigh, one arm still draped over me as he hid his face in my neck, catching his breath.

I was then hit with waves of clarity, an overwhelming rush of emotion, instantly bringing tears to my eyes. I moved away from him as I felt his lips on my neck again, quickly wiping my face before he could see.

"Jaime, what's wrong?" He asked, still flustered and breathless. "I thought that.. that was good. Didn't you, I mean, it sounded like you-"

I couldn't look at him, not after knowing who was the reason that it finally did happen, and now all I wanted.. was him.

"Josh, I'm sorry.." I said, pushing myself up, leaning my head against my knees. He reached out for me, gently placing his hand on my back.

"Jaime, it's.. it's a lot, just let me take care of yo-"

"No, I.. I want to be alone." His face dropped.

"Please don't do this again." He whispered. "Just let me be here for you." He cautiously wrapped his arm around me, pulling me up against him again. I felt so warm against his bare chest, now damp with sweat, as he held me tight, combing his fingers through my equally sweaty hair.

My heart was still pounding, my breath finally starting to slow down as his gentle touch eased me back into reality.

"W-was that.. good though?" He finally asked. I nodded, peeking up at him, knowing that good was one of the biggest understatements I had ever heard. Suddenly it all made sense, all of the songs, all of the movies where the guy risks it all just for a shot at it, I couldn't believe I had gone so long without getting to experience.. that.

So I could only imagine just how good it would finally feel.. with him.