"That's.." I started, not ever wanting to lie to him. I never had, and I wasn't planning on starting now. "That's.. well, when I went to go visit my mom, she.. she told me about all these photos of all of us when we were little and.. I found that one and-"

"It's you and Jake." He said softly, his eyes glued to the photograph. I bit down on my lip, subtly nodding.

"Yeah."

"So.. w-why did you pick.. this one?" He asked, my stomach dropped.

"Because.. before seeing it, I didn't even remember this, and.. I just.. I wanted to know if he did." He nodded, staying quiet as he kept his head down.

"He was your first kiss.." He finally said. I could hear the sadness in his voice. It killed me. Despite how distracted I was about Jake, that didn't change how I felt about Josh. I loved him, and the last thing I wanted to do was hurt him.

"We were little, that.. that didn't count." I muttered. "It was you."

"But it technically counts."

"I think that.. I get to pick." I said, wrapping my robe back around me as I went over to him. "And.. I pick ours." He nodded again, still avoiding my eyes.

"We're there.. any photos of us?" He asked. I nodded.

"Yeah, d-do you wanna see?"

"Yeah." He sighed, finally putting the photo down on my dresser again, looking back up at me with sad eyes. I went over, taking his hand and leading him downstairs and into the basement, back over to the piles of photo albums. He sat down on the floor, grabbing the one I had been looking at, quickly flipping through the pages of Jake and I. I could have sworn there were at least some of me and Josh, but every page, all I saw was Jake, Jake, Jake..

"I didn't realize how often you two were together." He mumbled. I opened another one, hastily searching for something, anything to take the attention off of Jake.

"Here." I said, finally pushing my album into his lap. "Look at us here." His lips instantly curled into a smile as he held it closer, admiring each and every one.

"You were so cute, Jaime." He sighed. I felt my cheeks burn as I moved closer to him, leaning my head on his shoulder.

"So were you."

"You still are."

"You too." I laughed. He peeked back down at me with a smirk, his eyes moving down to my lips, and all I wanted was to bring him right back upstairs.

I don't understand why once things finally started getting more and more serious, I couldn't just let myself enjoy it. Josh was perfect, and he wanted me, so why couldn't I just enjoy every moment with him? That's all I wanted to do, and yet once things started moving, my brain brought them to a halt. What I really needed to do was get out of my own head and take my own advice and just.. jump.

But it seemed like, my brain wanted one thing where.. my heart always wanted another.

I reached up, wrapping one arm around his neck, pulling him into a gentle kiss. I felt him sigh as he leaned in further, kissing me back harder. One of his hands moving to my neck, slowly making its way into my hair, tangling itself within.

"Josh, I.. I need you to know.." I said, leaning my forehead against his.

"What is it?"

"I'm just.. I'm sorry, for everything that's happened. I love you, I really do. And.. I don't want to be anywhere else right now. As long as I'm with you, I'm.. so happy." His smile grew as he held his stare on me for a moment, before pulling me into another long, deep kiss.

I felt everything when he kissed me, his lips coating mine with the most wistful 'I love you's' that words could never truly convey, his tongue timidly venturing between my lips, restlessly seeking out mine as his kisses grew more confident and amorous. I pushed the albums out from his hands, maneuvering into his lap. His skin now sweltering to the touch, his cheeks burning red as he exhaled his hot breath into my mouth, trying his best to keep from gasping between kisses. Oh, how badly I wanted him..

"Jaime.." He sighed, leaning his forehead against mine. I tightly clung to his shirt, biting down on my lip. I couldn't take him stopping us again.

"Yeah?"

"Can we.. go back to your room?" I nodded, pulling him into one last kiss before he took my hand, guiding me up stairs. I followed eagerly as he lead back up, shutting the door behind us. I felt my heart beating faster, loving this side of him, finally taking control and showing that he actually wanted me too. I stared up at him admiringly as he untied my robe again, wrapping his arms around me and effortlessly lifting me up and gently placing me down onto the bed.

I couldn't contain myself, tightly tangling my fingers in his hair, pulling him into a series of long kisses. His lips slowly moved to my neck, where they became harder, hungrier, needier. Whatever it was that came over him, I just wanted more. He reached behind me, but before I could help him, he unhooked my bra with ease, sliding it off, and tossing it away. His lips slowly moved down to my chest where they softly grazed my skin, deliberately moving down to my stomach, stopping just before the divots of my hips as every inch of me screamed for him.

He sat back up, pulling his shirt over his head and tossing it next to us before pulling me back into another deep kiss. I couldn't take my hands off of him, gliding them up from his waist to his chest, eventually wrapping them tightly around his neck. My heart jumped as I heard him giggle, hiding his face in my neck, gently pressing his lips against it.

"Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere."

"Good." I sighed, pressing my body against his, just wanting to feel him in every way. I impatiently reached down for his pants, unbuttoning them and tugging them off. He giggled again, rolling over and helping me slide them off, pushing them off the bed.

I climbed back over him as his hands tightly gripped my waist, pulling me against him, the only thing between us now being two thin pieces of fabric. I moved his hands down, hooking his fingers in the waistband of my underwear, insistent in wanting him to get me out of them.

"Jaime.." He gasped, now staring back up at me with lustful eyes. "W-what are you thinking about?"

"You." I said, and this time, as hard as I tried, it was true. He was all I could think about, all I could focus on as he kept me waiting, I'm sure being able to tell just how badly I wanted him. The longer he kept me waiting, the more and more my body ached for him.

Then he leaned over the size of the bed, reaching around for the bag he had brought back from the store.

"You're okay, right?" He sighed, looking back over at me. I nodded, pulling him back into another passionate kiss, feeling so much more than okay.

"Yeah, are.. are you?" I asked, needing to make sure this was actually something he wanted too. He was always looking out for me, so I didn't want to be the one to rush him. He nodded.

"Are you sure?" He gave me a gentle smile, nodding again.

"I'm sure."

"Cause I don't want-"

"I said I'm sure, Jaime." He giggled, kissing me again. I felt a little better.

And then my heart jumped as I felt him in ways that no romance movie could ever prepare you for. I tightly clung to him, digging my nails into his back as he grunted, hiding his face in my neck as his muffled panting filling my ear. My mind was racing, unable to focus on anything, wondering if he was just as anxious or if it was only me. I felt my heart beating faster, unable to determine if it was from pleasure or nerves. He then propped his hands up next to my head, his motions getting faster and faster until finally, I began to understand what everyone was talking about. My breaths getting rapid and sharp as the pleasure grew, knowing we were getting closer, closer, closer until I felt him tense up, letting out a loud grunt before rolling over next to me. He hid his flushed face in my neck, a gentle smile spread across his lips as he tried his best to catch his breath while I was left wanting so, so much more..

hating myself for wondering if maybe.. Jake was right.