I quickly ran over to the window, looking out to see that it was just the rest of family pulling up to their house. I couldn't help but smile as I saw Jake get out of the car, beaming from ear to ear as he made his way up to their house, but not before peeking up at my window, his eyes instantly lighting up when he saw me looking back at him. He gave me a gentle wave, his smile shrinking into a shy grin. I waved back, feeling my cheeks burn. He hesitated for a moment before quickly making his way over.

"Look at you.." I said softly, leaning up on the windowsill, propping my head up onto hand. "You really are a rockstar now. Congratulations. " He spun around, playing along.

"Thank you, Jaime." He sighed, staring up at me with dazed eyes.

"You deserve it."

"Jaime, can I come up?" My heart jumped.

"U-up?" He nodded.

"I.. I just.. I want to talk to you." I bit down on my lip, staying quiet for a bit.

"It's.. it's been a big day and I just want to talk about it with you."

"And that's.. all we're gonna talk about?" I asked. He nodded, shoving his hands into his pockets. I knew this wasn't a good idea, but..

"Okay. Fine. The front door is open. You can come up." I said softly, smirking down at him. He flashed me a toothy grin as he quickly made his way inside. I felt my heart beat faster as I heard him making his way up the stairs, two steps at a time. As I opened my bedroom door, he stopped in the doorway, his eyes getting wide as he quickly looked me up and down, instantly bringing his eyes back up to mine.

"Um.. s-sorry, I um.." He stuttered, his cheeks burning red. I backed away, tightly crossing my arms against my chest, staring back up at him.

"So.. what happened today? What did they say?" I asked, trying my best to change the subject. "What do you guys have to do? Tell me all about it." I sat down on the edge of my bed, staring up at him. He made his way in, leaning up against my dresser.

"Well, um.. it went.. great." He laughed. "We signed.. a lot, and then talked about future plans with writing, recording, touring-"

"Touring? Already?" My stomach dropped at the idea of them leaving. He shrugged, his face dropping as he gave me a gentle smile.

"I mean, it was bound to happen, right?" I nodded, avoiding his eyes.

"You're right.." I sighed. "Well, I.. I'm so happy for you." He came over, sitting down close to me on the bed. My heart jumped as his leg brushed against mine.

"And.. I can't thank you enough." He said, gently reaching out for my hand.

"For what?"

"For convincing him to stick with it. Jaime, this.. is everything. This is all I have, and.. unfortunately, I need them to do it." He laughed. "So.. thank you. I know you had a big part in it and.. you'll never understand how much I appreciate it."

"Yes I do. I know how much it means to you."

"That's not what you told him though.. was it." He said softly, now slowly intertwining our fingers. I felt my body get hot as my eyes shot down to them. I shook my head.

"You know I couldn't make it about you. Not after what happened." He nodded.

"I thought we weren't going to talk about that?"

"I think that.. we have to, Jake."

"So do I."

We were quiet for a moment, neither one of us knowing how to start. Finally, I got up and went over to my drawer, pulling the photo out from the back, bringing it over to him.

"Do you remember this?" I asked, placing it in his hand. He stayed silent as he stared at it until his lips finally curved into a smile.

"I do." He finally said. "This was.. after the wedding. You and I pretended to be the bride and groom all night." I hadn't even remembered that much, but suddenly flashes of the day came back to me. Tossing out rose petals every where I went, refusing to let go of his hand the entire night, just wanting to kiss him over and over while everyone cheered.

"I have a copy too." He whispered.

"You do?" He nodded, his smile growing.

"Your mom was so nice. She always made me a copy of every photo she took of us. My mom has them all put together in a photo album in the living room."

"Which one's do you have?" I asked. He turned back to me, his face turning red.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean.. well, you had the one of us in your drawer. Are.. are there any more?" He bit down on his lip, containing his smile, shaking his head as he brought his attention back to the photo.

I didn't believe him.

"Jaime, I.. I think this was my first kiss." He said softly, keeping his eyes down.

"Me too." He peeked back up, smirking at me.

"And you just decided that.. it belonged to you." I nodded, giggling to myself.

"I guess I did. I'm sorry. Everyone should have a say in who their first kiss is." He shook his head, holding his stare on me.

"I always wanted it to be you, Jaime. I really can't speak for you, but.. I think we both did. I know you said that.. you were saving it for Josh, so.. maybe you don't really count this one but.. I do. You were just.. braver than me. You've always been braver than me." He slid closer to me. "And.. maybe if I could have been brave like you, maybe things could have been different."

I couldn't help but think about Josh, and how I was apparently so much braver than him too. I wish I could see myself through their eyes. They made me out to be.. so grand. What I would give for even just an ounce of the courage they claimed I had so much of; I was never brave. But maybe if I actually had been, things really would have been different.

But now, did I even want them to be?

"And, Jaime.. I'm really sorry about what I said to you the other night. I.. I was out of line, and I never should have said those things. I was nervous, about a lot of things, I wasn't thinking clearly, I just.. I just needed.. one thing to work out, and.. to be honest, I couldn't really tell you which one I wanted more."

"Jake.." I couldn't believe what he was saying.

"I don't think you're scared of me at all, Jaime." He sighed. "I.. I was just mad, and jealous and.. frustrated with myself. And.. I'm sorry."

But he was right. I was scared.

"You were.. jealous?" I asked, smirking back at him. He scrunched up his face, smiling back at me, his face redder then ever. His eyes moved back down to my robe.

"Yes." He whispered, slowly leaning in. I backed away.

"Well, now you know how it feels." His face dropped.

"Jaime, I'm sorry if I ever made you feel the way I felt last night." I shook my head, looking away.

"Jake, I don't think you could ever understand how you made me feel over the years. Growing up, I thought.. you were mine. But I was wrong. And you showed me, time and time again, bringing home a new girl every other week.. and now not only did I have to accept that everything we said and did when we were kids didn't mean anything, but.. relationships didn't mean anything to you either. So.. that made it easier on me, knowing that, despite everything, we wouldn't have worked anyway. Because.. I am a relationship kind of girl. And now I have a boyfriend, and he's on his way over so.. you should probably go."

His face dropped as he backed away, his eyes moving down to my robe again.

"You're.. you're like this.. for Josh?"

"Mhm.."

"Jaime, can I just-"

"What?"

"Just.. coming from experience. Don't.. don't do anything you're gonna regret, just to get it over with. Trust me. There's no rush. And I just want you to-"

"Stop." I snapped, quickly cutting him off. "You don't get to say these things to me. You said you wanted it to be you, and it could have been but.. you made your choices and I made mine so.. this is my business. And my decision. Mine and his." He nodded, holding his stare on me.

"You wanted it to be me?"

"I wanted everything to be you! But you had to ruin it!"

"Jaime, I'm so sorry. I just didn't know-"

"How could you have not known how I felt about you!"

"I was scared." He said quietly, now getting up from the bed, placing the photo back down on my dresser. "And I'm sorry. I'll.. I'll go."

I hated this.

As much as I wanted him to go, I never wanted him to leave.

"Jake.. wait." He stopped in the doorway, turning back to me as I went over to him. He reached his hand up, gently caressing my face.

"You can call me whenever you need me, okay? No matter what happens, I'm always here. So, whenever you want to talk more about this, I'll be there." He gave me a soft smile, gently running his fingers down my cheek before finally leaving.