"Josh, I-" He shook his head, grabbing my hand, pulling me out into the hallway.

"I don't want to talk about it right now." He muttered, bringing me into his room and slamming the door behind us. I nervously stood back as he plopped down on the bed, keeping his eyes down.

"How much of that did you hear?" I asked. He finally looked back up at me, his eyes sadder than I had ever seen. I could barely look at him. He didn't deserve any of this.

"I heard enough." I nodded, not wanting to push it anymore. I wasn't sure what I should do, or.. what I should say. I just didn't want to make this any worse than it already was, though at this point, I really didn't think that was possible.

"Josh.." I finally sighed, feeling tears come to my eyes. Nothing was more sobering than the look on his face, instantly bringing me back down to Earth.

"I heard a lot, Jaime. A lot that hurt, but.."

"Josh, I swear-"

"You told him you love me." My heart dropped. He had heard.. everything. I nodded, wiping my eyes.

"That's not how I wanted you to hear." I cried. He sighed, pushing himself up from his bed, coming over to me, reluctantly pulling me into a tight hug. I hid my face in his neck as he gently rubbed my back.

"Jaime, I lov-"

"Please don't say it now. Not like this."

"Okay. But.. I do, Jaime."

"I do too." I could feel his lips curl into a smile, but it didn't last long.

"He kissed me." I blurted out, backing away from him. He stayed quiet, holding his stare on me, his jaw clenched.

"Did you kiss him back?" I shook my head.

"No."

"But you have feelings for him."

"I.. I did, but then you-"

"I heard." I nodded, avoiding his eyes again.

This was excruciating.

And then I saw tears come to his eyes, and I felt like I was going to be sick.

"Jaime, I'm sorry." He finally said.

Sorry?

He was sorry?

What did he have to be sorry about?

"W-why are you sorry?"

"You've been wanting more from me and I haven't been able to give you that. I'll.. I'll be better, I promise. I'm sorry it's taking me so long but.. this is new for me too. We're just.. at different paces and that's okay. I don't want to rush anything. I just.. whatever you want, I can be that for you. I just don't want to lose you, Jaime. Not to anyone, but especially not to him. Not after it took us so long to finally-"

"Josh, no.." I sighed, gently wiping his eyes, holding his face in my hands. "You are.. perfect. This has nothing to do with you. And I'm.. I'm so sorry this happened."

"He kissed you, Jaime. You have nothing to be sorry about. Our whole lives, he has always known how I felt about you, and he still.."

"But.. he was right. I should have never gone in there. I should have known. I should have just.. stayed with you, and taken care of you."

"You shouldn't have to take care of me, Jaime. I should have been there for you. You're always there for everyone, and I want to be the one who's there for you." I couldn't believe after everything, that he was the one who was apologizing.

"Can we just.. please forget this ever happened?" I sighed. "You make me so happy and I-" He cut me off, pulling me into a gentle kiss. I felt like my heart was going to explode.

"I.. I can try and speed things up for you. I'm sorry, I know that you want mor-" I shook my head, pulling him into another long kiss.

"I don't want to speed anything up. I want to enjoy every moment with you. I've never felt more comfortable than I do with you, so.. I'm not ready until you're ready, for whatever it is that we want." He nodded, staring back at me with tired, bloodshot eyes, his lips finally curling into a gentle smile.

I pulled him back over to his bed, crawling to the top and maneuvering under the blankets. He cuddled close, wrapping his arms around me, pulling me up against him. I nuzzled my face into his neck, slowly gliding my hand under his shirt and up his chest. Anything just to feel closer to him.

"Jaime, I.. I don't think I want to be in the band anymore." He said softly, avoiding my eyes. My heart sunk, and all I could think about was what could be waiting for them on that voicemail.

"W-why not?"

"I just think I should focus on myself right now. And.. him and I need some time apart." I couldn't say I blamed him. After all these years, to have a bomb like that dropped on you.

"I don't want you to make up your mind based off of what happened tonight. Nothing's going to happen with him, I-"

"It was never my dream, Jaime. It was his. And I was willing to help him because.. that's my brother. But.. for him to say those things, despite knowing how I feel about you, not caring how I feel, for him to kiss you and.." He stopped himself, obviously not wanting to bring up the rest of what was talked about. "Well.. then he can do it without me."

"I really don't think he can, Josh." I mumbled, not wanting to sound like I was siding with Jake, but at the same time.. I knew that if Josh quit, all hopes of anything happening just went out the window.

"I want to focus on us, Jaime. What you want and.. what I want and what we want.. together." He pulled me in closer, kissing the top of my head.

"I think you should sleep on it. I know you say it was never your dream but.. what a waste it would be to give up on something that you're so amazing at." He smirked back at me, trying to contain his smile.

"Flattery isn't gonna work." He giggled. "You just want me to write more songs for you." I felt my cheeks burn, smiling back up at him.

"Maybe." He pulled me in, kissing me again.

"Regardless of what I do, I will always write songs for you, Jaime."

He was quiet again for a while, his fingers gently gliding up and down my arm.

"The other night.." He said, his voice trailing off.

"W-what other night?"

"In the closet." My heart sunk.

"Josh, I swear, nothing happened." He nodded.

"I know, it's just.. did he.. say anything? Or did this all just.. come out of nowhere?" I tried my best to think back on that night, but all that really stuck out to me was going back up to his room and finally getting to kiss him for the first time.

"I.. I really only remember what happened between us that night." I muttered, feeling my face get hot. I saw his smile grow.

"That makes me feel.. a little better."

"I.. I really didn't know, Josh. Our whole lives he.. he never-"

"We don't have to talk about it anymore." He said simply, gently combing his fingers through my hair.

"Okay."

Then he sat back up, looking down at me with sad eyes again.

"Jaime, do you think we could stay at your house tonight instead?" He asked. "I really don't want to be here." I nodded, not hesitating to roll out of his bed, taking his hand.

"Of course, come on."

I quickly guided him down the stairs, praying that Jake didn't come back out. The last thing I needed was them having to interact at all tonight, hoping that maybe things would get a little better if we just.. slept on it.

I brought him over to my house, leading him up the stairs and into my room. He went over to my bed, plopping down and instantly wrapped himself within the covers, burying his face into my pillow. I made my way over to my other window, shutting the curtains now that I knew who else might be looking in. When I turned back to him, his eyes were already closed, clutching another pillow up against his chest. I leaned back against my desk, just admiring him for a moment. He was adorable.

I had made the right choice.

I carefully crawled into bed, positioning myself under his arm, cuddling close to him. He sighed, squeezing me tight. I felt one of his hands slowly move up the back of my shirt, lightly running his fingers up and down my spine. I never felt safer than I did in his arms.

"Josh?" I peeked up at him as I felt his hand stop moving. He stayed quiet.

"Josh?" Still nothing. I moved closer, gently kissing his neck.

"I love you." I whispered, my eyelids getting heavier until everything went dark.

And then I felt him smile.