He quickly let go of my hand as he lead us back outside. I could see Sam and Danny off with their girlfriends on the other side of the yard, clearly.. preoccupied. I felt my heart start to beat faster realizing that now it would most likely just be Jake and I alone, wherever we decided to go.

I saw him anxiously look around before grabbing his guitar, smirking back at me, motioning away from everyone else. I hesitated for a moment before closely following him, barely able to see even a few feet in front of me, having only him and the moonlight to guide us.

"Where are we going?" I asked, holding onto his arm. The further we walked, the quieter the sounds of the party faded away, leaving us surrounded by the intense ringing of crickets and rustling leaves of the trees above.

"Not too far, don't worry." He said softly, peeking down at me. I quickly avoided his eyes, feeling my cheeks burn.

He finally lead us over to the biggest tree out in the field, the same one he had brought me to so many times before to play new songs for me, but it looked different at night.

Tonight, it all felt different.

He sat down, leaning up against the trunk, peeking up at me with a gentle smile. I sat down close as he held his stare on me. Looking around, I could see the field was now glowing, tiny sporadic flickers of bright yellows and greens surrounding us as he started to gently strum along.

"I've never seen this many fireflies before." I whispered, staring back up into the sky. I saw him smile, nodding but his eyes never strayed away from me.

When I finally glanced back at him, his eyes shot down to his guitar, now focusing that much harder on his playing. It was hard not to notice how effortlessly beautiful he was. Moments like these with him never felt.. real. Like they were hand picked out of a movie, and I was lucky enough just to get to experience a few moments of this cinematic world with him.

I clutched my arms tightly across my chest as the night air got colder, the growing gusts of wind rustling the leaves above us again, flawlessly meshing with his playing, making the perfect summer night symphony.

When he finally looked back up at me, he noticed. Without saying a word, he slid off his denim jacket, reaching over and wrapping it around me, pulling me closer to him by the sleeves. First his flannel, and now this?

I don't know what it was, but there was just something so comforting about wearing his clothes. I remember the days I'd enviously watch as he'd give his sweaters to the other girls he'd bring home, wondering how it felt to get to wear something of his, knowing it probably smelt just like him.

And it did.

Then I couldn't help but think about what Cait had said before the show, unable to imagine a world where Jake would be talking about me to anyone else, let alone his girlfriend. I always wondered how he ended up with her to begin with..

"Jake.." I finally said, watching as he continued plucking along, peeking back up at me. "What happened with Cait?" He finally stopped, his face dropping.

"What do you mean?" He asked, carefully moving the guitar out of his lap and onto the grass.

"I mean.. how did you even end up with.. someone like her? How.. how did you ever date.. any of the girls you've been with? They just all felt.. so wrong for you." He was quiet for a moment, holding his stare on me.

"I don't know." He muttered. I sighed.

"I thought you were gonna be more honest with me." He bit down on his lip, trying to contain his smile. I did the same, but it was no use. His smile was contagious, when he actually let people see it.

"Alright, alright.." He groaned, scrunching up his face. "Honestly, I.. I guess it was just that.. the girl that I actually like.. never really liked me back." He said softly, avoiding my eyes again. "So instead, I just.. date girls who I know like me. I know it's wrong but.. it's easier. I don't get so wrapped up in what they think of me. And I.. I didn't really.. like them, so.. I got to avoid all of the nerves that come with trying to impress that one special person but.." He trailed off, now shrugging. I didn't want to push, but the wine made it that much easier to finally ask him the questions I've always wanted to.

"But what?"

"But, if we're being honest.." He joked. "I.. so badly want to experience.. the good parts of being with someone you really like. I want.. the butterflies, and the excitement that comes with.. finally getting to kiss the one girl that makes me feel.. everything." I felt my body get hot, my heart starting to pound again.

"It sounds like.. you have someone specific in mind." I said softly. He was quiet again.

"It doesn't matter. She doesn't see me like that anyway." My heart sunk. The idea of him actually feeling something like this after his many short-lived relationships. It was like seeing him in a new light. Something that always scared me about my feelings for him was that it never seemed like he cared about any of that stuff, where for me, those things were the most important.

"Well, how do you really know until you.. tell her?" He shook his head, letting out a long sigh.

"Because if she turned me down.. nothing would be the same. I know that.. I wouldn't be able to take it, so it's just better.. for her not to know."

"But.. what if she didn't?" I muttered. "I don't see why any girl would, and.. plenty haven't. Apparently." He smirked back at me.

"Does that.. bother you, Jaime?" I shook my head, avoiding his eyes, praying he couldn't see my now bright red face in the moonlight.

"It's none of my business."

"But does it bother you?" I shrugged, not wanting to answer.

Of course it bothered me. My entire life, all I wanted was for him to see me in the way I had always seen him, but when he brought home girls like Cait, it was hard to believe that I would ever have a chance. So for my own sake, I had to let go of the idea of us.

"It just.. never seemed like you cared." I said softly, now regretting bringing this up at all.

"What do you mean?" He asked, reaching back out for the sleeves of his jacket, pulling me in closer.

"It's just.. well, maybe.. the right one never wanted you to know.. because she was scared that you'd hurt her."

"I would never hurt her." He said simply, staring back at me with those big brown eyes. "If anything, she would be the one to hurt me. And.. I guess when it came down to it, it would hurt like hell but.. at least it would have been.. real. It's so easy not to care about the wrong one, Jaime. But I know, if she ever gave me the chance, I would give the right one.. everything."

I didn't want to overthink anything right now, especially considering I could barely see straight, but this was the Jake that I always knew was in there, buried down deep. This was the Jake I had always wanted, and I couldn't help but feel the jealousy start to build within me, wondering who could be so lucky to be the one to finally bring this out of him.

"We should head back." He finally said, reaching over for his guitar again. I pushed myself up from the grass, brushing myself off as he slung his guitar around, reaching his hand out for me again. My heart jumped as I looked down at it, then back up to him.

"It's dark, I don't want you tripping. I can lead the way back." He said, motioning down to his hand. I hesitated before slowly taking it. It wasn't long before I felt him gently intertwine our fingers.

On the quiet walk back, we avoided each other's curious stares, allowing our hands to carefully caress each other's in ways we never knew we needed.. until tonight. As we got closer to his house, I could see that majority of the guests had finally left, only leaving the few lone stragglers, as always.

He peeked back at me.

"Do you want me to take you home?" He asked "Or.. do you want to stay.. here tonight." I nodded, staring back up at him with dazed eyes. The last thing I wanted to do was leave him.

"Which is it, Jaime?" He giggled, leaning in closer.

"Can I.. stay here?"

"Of course."

By now I could feel my head spinning, the heat from the countless drinks radiating throughout my body, my heart racing with every touch, just wanting more, needing to be closer.

He looked around before quickly leading me inside, down the hall and up the stairs.

"Where do you wanna sleep?" He asked timidly, leaning back against his door. I bit down on my lip, holding my stare on him. I could barely think straight, but everything in me just couldn't let go of him.

"I could make up.. my bed for you.. if you want?" I nodded, squeezing his hand tighter as he brought me into his room, shutting the door behind us.

When I was younger, I had always wondered what Jake's room looked like. He never let anyone in, always so secretive, one of the many things that left me so curious about him. I looked around as he went over to his bed, quickly tossing off any dirty clothes, propping up his pillows, straightening it up as much as he could.

"Sorry it's messy in here." He laughed. "I wasn't exactly expecting.. company."

At least I knew he wasn't anticipating any other girls coming over.

In the corner I saw his first guitar; I couldn't believe how small it was. I remembered him always carrying that thing around no matter where we went, never wasting a moment in order to get better. I wondered how long until he found out about the record deal. I really hoped they called him. I'm sure that's all he's been thinking about all night.

When I got to his desk, it was covered in old notebooks, crumpled up pieces of paper and guitar picks ranging in all sizes. He instantly reached out, stopping my hand as I went to grab one of the notebooks. I smirked back at him, feeling my face get hot.

"Oh, is this private?" I giggled to myself. He nodded, smiling back at me.

"But I thought we were being more honest with each other." He smile grew.

"There's a line, Jaime."

"Fine." I sighed, putting it back down. He reached over, grabbing one of his dark green guitar pics, placing it in my hand. My heart jumped.

"Here, you can have this. It's.. my favorite."

He followed me closely as I continued wandering around, finally stopping at his window. And to my surprise, it had a direct view into mine from the opposite side. For the life of me, I couldn't remember ever being able to see into his. How had I not noticed before?

He watched me even closer as I went over to his bed, reaching for his end table drawer.

"Absolutely not." He laughed, quickly pushing it shut. "If I knew you were this nosy, I would have never let you in here." I shook my head, trying to push past him.

"What don't you want me to see, Jake?"

"Jaime, stop!" He laughed again, playfully pulling me away again.

"This would be so much easier if you just-" I finally got around him, pulling the drawer open, seeing more crumpled pieces of paper, and a photograph of the three of us.

"What's this?" I asked, reaching for it, noticing a crease down the middle that cut Josh off from the two of us. He swiftly grabbed me by the waist, lifting me up.

"Jake!" I yelled, holding onto him tight as he jokingly tossed me onto his bed, falling on top me. He quickly rolled over, his face turning bright red as he moved back against his pillows. I sat back up, catching my breath as I crawled over to him, straddling myself into his lap. He stared up at me wide-eyed, an adoring smile escaping his lips. This time when I reached over for his drawer, he let me. I pulled the photo back out.

"You.. have a photo of us?" I asked. He bit down on his lip, holding his stare on me.

"Well, all of us.." He muttered. I folded it over where he had obviously done tons of times, it now tearing apart on its own.

"The two of us." I whispered. He finally nodded, his hands slowly moving down to my waist, pulling me against him. I reached over, putting the photo away as I leaned in closer. My whole life, as badly as I had wanted this to happen, never did I think.. I would actually be here, here with him, like this.

My head started to spin again as he hesitantly reached up, gently caressing my face, staring so deeply into my eyes that at any moment, I thought I was going to fall, head over heels right into his. He had never looked at me like this. And I couldn't live within this, not if there was some other girl he actually wanted to be like this with.

How lucky she was, and she had no idea.

"Jake.. you should tell her." I said, finally breaking our stare. He tilted my head back to face him, pulling me in closer.

"Who?"

"The girl you actually want to be with, instead of.. being like this with girls you don't-"

"Jaime.." He sighed, shaking his head. My heart jumped.

Me?

Did he mean.. me?

I stayed quiet, needing something more from him. He finally smiled, flashing me that same look he always did when I just wasn't getting it. My face dropped. He could tell I finally caught on.

He meant me.

He nodded, gently combing his fingers through my hair, his eyes moving down to my lips.

"Jake, what if.. that girl feels the same way about you.. but now she just.. she can't." I muttered. I felt like I was going to be sick. Why was he telling me this now? After all these years. I was with Josh, who had been there for me through everything, in ways Jake never was. Or at least.. ways I thought he couldn't be. But for all I know..

I shook the thought.

I could barely hold my head up at this point, let alone think logically about all of this. All I knew was that right now, the only thing I really wanted what was right in front of me. His hand slowly moved down to my neck, my skin burning as his fingers gently glided across.

"I've waited this long for her. I can wait a little longer." He whispered, giving me a gentle smile.

I ran my fingers through his hair as I felt his other hand move to the small of my back, pulling me up against him. He carefully removed his jacket from around me, dropping it onto the floor, giving me questioning eyes as he reached back for his flannel. I nodded. He slid it off, adding it to the pile on the floor.

"Jaime.." He finally sighed, leaning in, his lips gently grazing mine. I backed away, feeling like my body was on fire. No matter how drunk I was, no matter how I felt.. I couldn't do that to Josh. I didn't want to, but I couldn't deny that these feelings for Jake never fully went away, and I was starting to think that they never would.

"Jaime.. if there wasn't anyone else.. what would have happened tonight?" If there was no one else, he could have had anything he wanted. But now there was, so it wasn't that easy anymore. How differently things could have been if he had just.. said something sooner.

"Everything." I finally sighed, staring back up into those big brown eyes that made me feel way too much.

"So you want it just as badly as I do." He whispered. I nodded, my eyes moving down to his lips. And for those few moments we just sat together knowing that after tonight, nothing would be the same between us ever again.

"I think you should get some sleep." He finally said, moving one hand into my hair and pulling me in, giving me a long, hard kiss on my forehead. I tightly grabbed onto his shirt, never wanting to let go. When he finally backed away, he gave me a sympathetic smile before gently moving me out of his lap, now heading for the door.

"W-where are you going?" I asked, crawling after him. He opened the door, leaning back against the door frame, just out of reach.

"You sleep in here tonight. I'll go downstairs."

"Jake, I don't want you to go."

"Jaime.. you and I both know what'll happen if I stay."

He was right, and now I couldn't stop thinking about it. About him. About what it would finally feel like to kiss him, finally feel him in ways I've never felt anyone before. But why did he have to do this now? When everything was was finally perfect with Josh? After all these years, why did he wait until now to.. almost tell me.

"How could you do this?" I snapped, now starting to feel tears come to my eyes. He stopped, turning back to face me. "After all this time, how could you tell me this now. When we can't do anything about it. After how I felt about you for all these years.." His face dropped.

"What? H-how you felt about.. me? Jaime, what-"

"I was crazy about you, Jake! Every day, just hoping I'd get to see you, even if it was just for a few minutes, because just seeing you.. made my whole day. All I ever wanted was for you to see me the way that I saw you but instead.. you brought home girl after girl, none that were ever.. anything like me." I wiped my eyes, trying my best to shake this, but I just couldn't.

"Jaime.. I have searched for you in every girl that I have ever been with."

"Then why couldn't you have just picked ME?!"

"Because you meant everything! And being rejected by you would have destroyed me! I.. I would rather live in.. what we are than ever lose you like that." I shook my head, avoiding his eyes, knowing if I looked at him any longer I wouldn't be able to hold back the tears anymore.

"So instead you went after girls that meant nothing." I scoffed, rolling my eyes. "And that's exactly why you don't feel anything, Jake. Because you don't.. you don't try!"

"Jaime, you have no idea how many times I've wanted to try-"

"But you didn't! And.. who knows what could have happened with us if.. just once, you sucked it up and just.. jumped. You will never get to feel something real until you ju-"

And in an instant, he reached out, pulling me into a long, passionate kiss, and any butterflies I had once had for him were instantaneously ignited into flames, blazing as bright as my once shielded heart could muster. His hands moved down from my face to my neck, kissing me harder, deeper than I had ever been kissed before. I have never wanted him so bad in my life, and if he had pushed it any further, I don't think I would have had the power to stop him.

When he finally backed away, he leaned his forehead against mine, now catching his breath. I did the same, clinging onto his shirt as I breathed him in, our faces just inches apart, wanting nothing more than the intoxicating taste of his lips to consume me once again.

"You.. you kissed me." I sighed. He nodded, giving me a gentle smile as he leaned in, whispering into my ear.

"I finally jumped."