I balanced my hand on his leg to try and keep the room from spinning. He reached up, gently caressing my face again, flashing me that same adorable smile that I had fallen for so many years ago.

I remember the first time I laid eyes on him. He ran over as soon as our moving truck pulled up to the house, greeting us with a beaming smile and eager eyes. His mom met us in our driveway, apologizing for his enthusiasm while Jake nervously hid behind her leg. Even that young, there was just something about him. He wasn't like the other boys. He never pulled my hair or pushed me down or chased me around the yard. He sat with me and talked with me and played with me like friends do.

I think I had fallen for him before I even knew what that meant.

And soon enough, I was laying up at night, dreaming about the day he'd confess those same feelings for me, and now.. the day was finally here. I had to take a second to just relish in the moment, for younger me, who deep down didn't know if this day would even come. I wish I could go back and tell her that all those nights of dreaming weren't wasted.

"Jaime, I just.. I need you to know that this isn't the alcohol talking. I have wanted this.. for as long as I could remember. You have no idea.."

"I really don't." I laughed, leaning in closer. "This whole time, all I've ever wanted was for you to give me.. something, I just needed to know.. either way.. what we were."

"Well.. now you know." He sighed, giggling to himself. "Only took me twenty one years."

"Better late than never." I laughed, gently running my fingers up his arm. He bit down on his lip, his cheeks burning red.

"Please stay again tonight." He whispered. "I.. I don't want you to go. Not after.. this. I just-"

"I'll stay." I said, reaching over for the clothes he had given me last night.

"You can keep those. You.. you look good in them." My heart jumped, now unable to contain my smile. He sighed, running his fingers through my hair.

"You are so beautiful, Jaime." He whispered, his eyes moving down to my lips.

"You can't look at me like that if you're not gonna kiss me." I said, hating the fact that after all this, he was actually going to make me wait. But I guess after how many years, what was a few more days.

"I'm sorry." He smirked, his eyes meeting mine again. I held my stare on him for a moment before finally getting up, heading over to the door.

"W-where are you going?"

"I'm gonna go get changed." He shook his head, pushing himself up from the bed.

"No, you.. you stay here. I'll leave. It's okay." I nodded, watching him as he went out into the hallway, shutting the door behind him.

Though I wouldn't have minded if he stayed.

I quickly got changed, crawling back onto his bed and under the covers. Looking over at his end table, I could see a few scattered pieces of paper, all filled with writing, some crumpled up and tossed to the side, but one was kept neater than the rest, tucked beneath his lamp. I peeked over at the door before sliding it out from under, reading through.

Stay a while in your slumber

tumble under

and never wake.

Dream forever in your wonder

she'll never sunder

into the day.

I couldn't help but smile, reading it over and over. Long before the band was even an idea, he had always been an amazing writer. I was glad that other people were finally able to experience his words in the way that I had for so many years.

For the longes time, I was the only one who was allowed to read what Josh wrote, and I always held that near and dear to my heart. Having an artist trust you with their work is one of the most beautiful feelings; being welcomed into their world, even just for a moment, little by little, word by word..

I never felt closer to him than when he trusted me with his work.

He then knocked on the door, waiting for me to call him back in.

"It's okay." I laughed. "I'm done." He peeked his head in, his eyes instantly shooting down to the piece of paper in my hands as he crawled across the bed, cuddling under the covers next to me.

"What'd you find?" He asked, scooting closer to me to get a better look.

"Is this gonna be a song?" I asked, handing it over to him. He read it over, his smile growing.

"Maybe." He said softly. "This one.. I've been working on this for a bit. I don't know where it fits yet, but.. it feels special." I turned to face him, positioning myself under his arm.

"What inspires you? When you're writing, what.. how do you think of these things?" I asked, peeking up at him. He bit down on his lip, his cheeks burning.

"All kinds of things." He muttered, playfully shrugging. I reached over for his hand, gently intertwining our fingers. His smile grew as he finally looked down at me.

"Have you ever.." I started, wondering if I even wanted to know the answer. But decided to ride out the courage this wine gave me for as long as I could, because who knew what tomorrow was going to bring for us. "Have you ever written anything.. about me?"

He looked down at our hands, lightly tracing his thumb around my palm as that same timid smile stayed spread across his lips.

"Maybe.." He finally said, avoiding my eyes.

"Have I.. ever read anything about me?" He nodded.

"Have I ever.. heard anything about me?" I asked, feeling my heart beat faster. He finally looked over at me, giving me a subtle nod.

I'm sure by tomorrow my face was going to hurt from smiling so much. It was amazing how someone could make me smile so much. I still couldn't comprehend the fact that I wasn't dreaming.

"Can you.. tell me which ones?" He shook his head, looking back down at our hands.

"Okay." I sighed, not wanting to push him. Just knowing something existed was good enough for me, and now I'd spend every day listening to him sing, wondering which ones they were.

I then felt his fingers slowly glide up my arm, gently making their way up my neck, tangling themselves in my hair. My heart was pounding with every delicate touch, only wanting more.

I moved in closer as I felt his other arm wrap around me, holding me from the small of my back, pulling me up against him. So many nights I spent wondering what it would feel like to finally be held like this, and never could I have imagined how perfectly his strong hands would conform to my every curve, holding me so tenderly, never feeling safer than I did right now.

As I looked back up at him, he was already staring back at me with love sick eyes; how beautiful it felt to finally be gazed upon by whose attention you've always craved. And despite getting lost in these same eyes more than I could count, tonight was different.

This was not how someone looked at their friend.

As I finally began leaning in, I heard him sigh as he leaned his forehead against mine.

"Jaime.." He whispered. I moved away, sitting back up to face him. He pushed himself up, leaning back against his pillows as he reached out for me.

"How about this.." I finally said. "I will.. let you take me out.. on a real date.. if I can just kiss you.. now. Because.. you saying all of this to me, and us.. finally being like this. This is how I always imagined it." I could hear my heart pounding in my ears as he held his stare on me, his lips finally curling into a smile as he reached over for me, holding my face in his hand.

"Jaime, if I kiss you.. I don't know if I'll ever be able to stop." And I believed him, but I wanted nothing more than to find out for sure.

"Well, I don't think I'd be able to stop you."

He stared back at me, eagerness dripping from his fingertips as they tangled their way into my hair, and together we lived within these last few moments of friendship before finally taking the leap and diving headfirst into so much more.

Then he kissed me.

And just like that.. fireworks.

It was in that moment I ached for every lover who wasn't us; we were the night sky, instantly ignited by the first touch, illuminated with such beautifully blinding reds and blues. All it took was once, just one taste and I knew that I was hooked for life. His lips, so soft and sugar-coated in desire; nothing would ever taste sweeter than your first love.