As I looked up, my entire body went cold. On my side of the bed was a small stuffed animal, and a pink and red card sitting on my end table. My heart sunk.

No, no, no, no, no..

I couldn't believe I forgot.

How did I manage to go all day, and not a single person mention that today was Valentine's Day?

"Oh my god.." I sighed, finally bringing myself to look at her. Her sad eyes broke my heart. She must have been thinking about this all day. Suddenly everything she said, everything she did made sense..

"Jess, I'm.. I'm so sorry." I said softly, going over and picking up the stuffed lion from my pillow. I couldn't help but smile. She always joked about how my hair looked like a lion's mane in the morning, messed up and flying away in every direction.

"Jess.. I.. I didn't mean.. I'm sorry." I managed. What else was there to say? There was no coming back from this.

"I'm sure it doesn't mean much now but.. Happy Valentine's Day." I muttered, the words tasting bitter as they left my tongue. How dare I say that now? Of course they didn't mean anything. All she wanted was for me to be there today.. and I couldn't even do that.

And for what? Some stupid interviews for something I probably wasn't even going to win? When all I had ever wanted was waiting up for me? I couldn't believe how stupid I was being.

"Yeah.." She whispered. My heart sunk as I finally brought myself to open her card.

Dear Jake,

It was impossible for me to find a card that fully captures how much I love you, not just today, but everyday. So, I tried my best to put it into a song.

My heart sunk.

She wrote me another song?

Everything you write for me is so beautiful, I only hope I can come close to returning the favor.

Happy Valentine's Day!

I love you, always & forever.

Love, Jess.

I reached over for the piece of paper she had left under the card, reading through the lyrics. I felt like I was going to be sick. This was.. beautiful. What I would give to hear her sing this to me.

I remember the day she played me the first song she wrote for me. Back in my bedroom, using one of my old guitars. It was like she had done this a thousand times. No one had ever written a song for me before; it was so nice to be on the other side of it. She was so effortlessly beautiful, making me fall in love with her all over again. I had never felt as loved as I did that day. That was the first time we ever..

I shook the thought, trying not to make myself even more upset than I already was.

"You wrote me another song?" I asked, turning back to her, feeling tears come to my eyes. She nodded, looking down.

"C-can I hear it?" She shook her head. My stomach dropped. I figured.

"I understand. I.. Jess, I'm so sorry. It's just.. with everything going on, I.. I barely know what day it is anymore.."

I even tuned myself out as I began to ramble. This was all bullshit and I knew it. The least I could've done was remember. I knew it wasn't at all about the gifts for her. All she wanted was for me to just.. be there. All she ever wanted was to just be with me and.. I couldn't even give her that today.

".. you probably hate me." I sighed. And she had every reason to, I wouldn't blame her. If the roles were reversed, I'd be just as upset and I knew it. I had always loved Valentine's Day too, and of all years, to forget the first with my fiancé.. I hated myself for it.

"I could never hate you." She whispered. My heart sunk.

"But.. you're upset."

"I.. I am. Today was.. really important to me, and.. I know you're so caught up in everything that's going on, and.. I understand that but.. that doesn't mean you can just forget about every other part of your life. You asked me to marry you, so.. you need to make time for me too. Have you noticed that ever since this all started, you haven't asked me about my day.. once?"

This just kept getting worse and worse. Thinking back, she was right. All I did was talk about myself. Sure, I was excited, but.. that didn't mean she didn't have things going on too. She had basically uprooted her entire life just to be with me, and I couldn't even ask her about her day?

I had told her how lonely it could be, when things all started happening, and how people aren't always happy for you, but.. maybe this was why. Maybe it was because I was the one who would always isolate myself.

"I was so excited to tell you about how I drove for the first time, and-"

"You drove?" I asked, finally cutting her off. "When? You told me you didn't have a license."

"Josh has been teaching me." She muttered, her cheeks burning red. My heart started beating faster, my face feeling like it was on fire.

"Josh?" I asked, trying to contain my anger, but I could tell she heard it.

"You've been so busy, and since neither of us had plans today, he offered to teach me." She said softly. "But.. you would've known this if you asked me about me once in a while."

I hated that she was right. I didn't blame her for wanting some sort of company today, but that didn't make me feel any better about the fact that my brother basically spent Valentine's Day with my fiancé.

I looked away, now noticing a stuffed animal on her pillow that I had never seen before. My heart started beating faster.

"Where'd you get that?" I asked. She hesitated for a moment.

"Josh surprised me.. this morning. After you left." My stomach dropped. Of course he remembered, and of course he already had something for her. It was like he knew I was going to forget, and made sure he was ready to swoop right in.

"Oh.." I managed, stopping myself, because I knew if I kept going I was going to say something I would regret. I've learned it's best for me to just shut up before I say too much. I looked back down at her card, propping it up on my end table.

Finally, I got up, going over to her and wrapped my arms around her, pulling her into a tight hug. My heart started beating faster as the soothing scent of her lavender shampoo wafted from her hair. She hesitated before eventually hugging me back, hiding her face in my neck.

I didn't want to fight with her.

I was tired of fighting with her.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled, kissing the top of her head. "I'll make it up to you, I promise." I would do whatever it took to make it up to her. She always talks about how patient I've been with her, but she's been more than patient with me too. If she had said or did some of the things I've done to her, I don't know how I would react either. But she still stayed.

"It's okay." She sighed. "The day's over." My heart sunk. I looked back down at her, my face dropping.

"Will you ever play that song for me?" I asked, gently touching her cheek. I combed my fingers through her hair, caressing her neck, pulling her in closer.

All I wanted to do was kiss her.

"Maybe." She sighed, her eyes moving down to my lips. My heart started beating faster as I pulled her into a long, tender kiss, tangling my fingers in her hair.

"I thought you were exhausted?" She asked, staring back up at me. I was, but I just wanted as much time with her as I could manage today. She deserved that much.

"I am, but.. I don't wanna go to sleep if you're still mad at me." She reached up, gently touching my cheek. I felt my skin burn as her fingers traveled down.

"It's okay." She said, gently lifting my shirt over my head, tossing it on the floor. My heart jumped, my face feeling like it was on fire. I slowly reached down for her shirt, but she stopped me.

"Not tonight." She muttered, pulling me onto the bed, lifting up the blanket. "You need to sleep."

I should've known that wasn't gonna happen.

"No, I.. I wanna be with you." I said softly, crawling over her. She stared back up at me, her eyes moving down to my lips as her hands slowly traveled up my chest.

"Come here.." She said softly, pulling me back down next to her. I sighed, finally giving in as I cuddled under the blankets, wrapping my arm around her, hiding my face in her neck.

I always felt so loved when she would gently rub my back, trying her best to get me to fall asleep. There was no better place for me than in her arms; I had never felt safer, there was no where else I ever wanted to be. Her gentle touch just tender enough to break me into a million pieces, but she never did.

And I hoped she never would.

It wasn't long before everything went black, and suddenly I was back in the glowing orange field where we had shot our music video. Life felt like it was moving in slow motion, Jess slowly running through the field, her long dress flowing behind her. I reached my arms out for her only to realize she wasn't running towards me, but right through me. When I was finally able to turn around, I could see her floating through the air, landing into Josh's arms. It felt like I was shrinking, becoming smaller and smaller as they both towered over me until I finally disappeared, fading into another dark abyss where now all I could see was her, always just out of reach. My legs refused to run, despite how hard I pushed, my arms feeling weighed down, cemented to the floor. It didn't matter how hard I tried, everything I couldn't do, Josh did with ease. Then I was instantly dropped into a glass box that began filling with water, little by little I felt it seeping through my clothes, all the while I was forced to become a spectator to their life together, the closer they got the faster the water began to rise until finally I was gasping for air, water filling my lungs as he pulled her into a kiss and-

I was then jolted awake, staring up at Jess wide-eyed as my heart pounded in my chest. It was just a nightmare. I felt the sheets cling to my now sweaty chest. I pushed them off me, frantically looking around.

"You okay?" Jess whispered. I rubbed my eyes, trying to focus them as best as I could. She stared back at me, gently touching my cheek. I sighed, holding my stare on her as I felt my heart start to slow down, my breathing returning to normal. I finally lied back down, resting my head on her chest again, hearing her gentle heartbeat echoing in my ears. I pulled her closer, gently kissing her cheek, and nuzzling my face into her neck until I found what lingered from her intoxicating perfume. Her hands gently glided up and down my back again, holding me closer.

I closed my eyes, but was terrified to fall back asleep, unsure of what I'd see the next time everything faded to black again.