While I waited for Jake to finish the last of his interviews, I lied in his bunk, editing the photos I had shot from the night before. I was able to get through the entire batch before the back door finally slid open.

"Hey. Sorry." He sighed, making his way over to me. He sluggishly ran his fingers through his hair, quickly leaning down and pulling me into a kiss. "I really don't wanna rush this so.. can we find out after the show tonight?" I nodded, shutting my laptop and grabbing my camera bag. He reached out for my hand, intertwining our fingers as he hastily lead us down the steps, across the parking lot and into the venue.

"I didn't think they were going to run so late, I'm sorry." He managed, guiding us backstage into one of the dressing rooms.

"It's okay, really, Jake." I giggled, sitting down on the couch. He flashed me an apologetic smile as he quickly got changed. I could see his eyelids getting heavy as he ran his fingers through his hair, brushing it into place.

"Are you gonna be okay tonight?" I asked, going over to him, leaning up against the wall as he stared back at himself in the mirror. He nodded, peeking over at me.

"Yeah, I'm fine.. I.. I really shouldn't complain. It's an amazing opportunity. I'm okay." I bit down on my lip, holding my stare on him.

"Yeah but.. you're only human. I just want to make sure you're taking care of yourself." I said softly. He finally stopped, pulling me into a gentle kiss.

"Thank you." He whispered. "I'm okay. But.. I'm excited for later."

I felt my cheeks burn, my heart beating faster. Part of me really didn't want to get my hopes up, just in case it wasn't what we wanted. Deep down, I wasn't even sure of what I wanted right now. I knew that if I was pregnant, Jake would be.. ecstatic. But.. it wouldn't be the end of the world if I wasn't. If things were really going to start picking up with him, there was no way he could be around as much as he'd want to be, and it wouldn't be fair to rob him of that experience either.

"I.. I don't want you to get your hopes up." I said, holding his face in my hand, gently rubbing my thumb across his cheek. "I mean, it's probably nothing, I'm probably just over thinking things again." He shrugged, his smile growing.

"Hey.. whatever happens, happens." He said softly. I nodded.

"And.. I know this is something you really want but-" He cut me off, pulling me into another kiss.

"Whatever happens, Jess.. it's gonna be okay. I promise."

"Okay."

He leaned in, kissing my forehead and slipping his hand into mine.

"But.. I gotta get to stage now." He laughed, motioning towards the door. I nodded, following him closely, grabbing my bag as he quickly lead us down the hall towards the wings of the stage.

I hung back, watching him as he lifted his guitar over his head, adjusting the strap. He then quickly made his way over to me, reaching out and pulling me into a passionate kiss.

"I love you so much." He said, leaning in close enough for me to hear over the screams. A smile escaped my lips as I pulled him into another kiss.

"I love you more." I sighed. His smile grew as he shook his head, running out onto the stage.

For their last song, I made my way back to Jake's side of the stage, waiting in the wings for him to run off. Looking over, I saw Sadie across the way on Sam's side, watching him attentively with a massive grin. I couldn't help but smile. She really was sweet. If anyone was going to be there for him, I was glad it was someone like her. He deserved someone so.. endearing. I hoped he wasn't just stringing her along, despite what he said to me. But I'm sure the longer she hung around, he would eventually give in.. right?

Things would just be easier if him and I could go back to normal, and I knew that was never going to happen until he had someone else to at least distract him.

Right on time, Jake ran off stage, wrapping me into his arms, laughing loudly into my ear. His sweaty hair stuck to his forehead, pulling me close, kissing me on the cheek.

"You were amazing." I said, gazing up at him. He flashed me a wide grin, pulling me into a kiss.

"Thank you." He said, holding me close. He quickly lifted his guitar over his hand, placing it onto the stand and guided me through the wings back to the dressing room.

"What's the rush?" I laughed, trying to catch up. He giggled to himself, peeking over at me.

"I wanna get back to the bus before everyone else, I'd prefer.. if it was just me and you." He said, now grabbing his bag, tossing it over his shoulder. I nodded, feeling my heart start to beat faster. I both loved and hated how excited he was about this. I could understand how he always managed to be so positive all the time; just one more thing I hoped our kids would get from him.

The list was endless.

When we got onto the bus, I quickly pulled out the shopping bag from under his bunk as he went into the back room. I still had to find time to fill out the card for him before Valentine's Day, which was only a few days away. There was still no talk of what we were doing, but at this point, I just assumed we'd have to celebrate on our own when he was done with press.

He came back out in his old t-shirt and pajama pants, his hair tied up into a bun. My cheeks burned as he came over, sitting down next to me.

"Do you need me to do anything?" He asked. I shook my head, smirking back at him.

"No, this part is pretty much all me." I giggled. His smile grew as his cheeks burned.

"Okay.." He said softly. "Well.. whatever happens, it's gonna okay." I nodded, grabbing the test and going into the bathroom.

I knew last time, I hadn't wanted to find out on the bus.. but he was right. Almost all of our moments had been on this bus. This had become our place, so what better way to find out?

I left the test on the counter, coming back out to see him lying down, his head propped up on his hand.

"What are you thinking?" I asked, leaning in the doorway. He shrugged, giving me a gentle smile.

"What do you want to happen?" He asked. "I know that.. you know what I want but.. what do you want?" I bit down on my lip, feeling my heart beat faster.

"Honestly.." I said, avoiding his eyes. "I.. I don't know. If you asked me a week ago, I would've wanted it to be positive." He nodded.

"But?" He added. I sighed.

"But.. with everything going on now with your award-"

"Well, it's not my award yet." He laughed. I smirked back at him.

"Well.. when you win-"

"If.."

"When you win.. everything's gonna change."

He was quiet, holding his stare on me.

"Not if we don't let it." He finally said. I went over, sitting down next to him.

"I really don't think we have any control over that. You really think that they're not gonna add another leg to the tour once you win? You know we're not going home." His face dropped, as if he was finally accepting it.

"So then.. what if it is positive?" He asked, reaching over for my hand.

"Well.. I guess we're just gonna have to figure that out then."

"I would stay with y-"

"No, Jake." I said, cutting him off. He was quiet again, biting down on his lip.

"So.. you hope it's negative.." He accepted.

"No, I mean.. I just.." I stopped, hearing the timer go off in the bathroom. My heart jumped. His eyes got wide as he sat up.

"Do you want me to get it?" He asked reluctantly. I nodded.

"Okay." He leaned over, kissing my forehead before pushing himself out of the bunk, going into the bathroom.

His silence was unbearable. I felt my entire body go cold as he finally came back out, sitting down next to me, handing me the test.

"It's negative." He said quietly, now gently stroking my hair. I looked down to see that familiar one line staring back at me.

I still wasn't sure how I felt.

"Are you okay?" He asked, his hand moving down to my back, his fingers gently gliding up and down. I nodded, avoiding his eyes.

"Mhm.." I managed, feeling my face start to get hot. The bus suddenly felt quieter, every little noise echoing in my ears as I tried my hardest to focus on anything but that one line. I felt Jake wrap his arms around me, pulling me closer to him, and then tears finally came to my eyes. I hid my face in his neck, crawling into his lap. He held me tightly, rubbing my back.

"It's okay if you wanted it to be positive, even just a little bit." He whispered. I nodded, doing my best to contain my shaky breaths.

"It just wasn't meant to be yet, it's okay, Jess." I nodded again, still unable to speak.

He eventually helped me up, leading me into the back room where he tucked me in under the blankets, crawling under next to me. I turned over, wrapping my arm around his stomach and laying my head on his chest as he continued rubbing my back.

"Jake, what if I can't-"

"Don't think like that, Jess. It just.. it wasn't meant to be this time, and that's okay. Maybe it's for the best.. like you said, and maybe after this is all over-"

"This is never going to be over." I sighed. "And.. that's great, Jake. I am.. so proud of you, and I am so happy for you but.. we can't pretend like we're ever going to have a normal life together."

"Jess, I hope we never have a normal life." He said. I picked my head up, looking back at him. "I love the life we have. It may not be conventional but.. I wouldn't change it for the world. And whatever happens.. we're gonna make it work. I promise. Everything is going to be okay."

I stared back at him as he forced a subtle smile. Gently caressing his face, I pulled him into a gentle kiss before lying back down, hiding my face in his neck again, feeling more tears come to my eyes.

I hoped he was right.