As hard as I tried, I just couldn't bring myself to focus all night. What was Jake hiding? I tried not to think about it but.. he never hid anything from me before. Not that I knew of at least.

So what else could he be hiding?

I shot for the first few songs and then finally went into the wings to find the rest of their family. Ronnie waved me over as I made my way towards Jake's side of the stage.

"Hey!" She yelled, wrapping her arm around me. "I'm so excited you're here!" I couldn't help but smile, leaning my head on her shoulder. It was so nice to feel like I had a family here too, and one day she really would be.

And I always wanted a sister.

"So am I." I sighed. As I looked out, my eyes were instantly drawn to Jake at the front of the stage. He played so effortlessly, making it look so easy. I was so lucky to get to witness it every night, and each and every time I was mesmerized. I hoped I would get to experience it every night for the rest of my life.

He then looked over, flipping the hair out of his face and flashed me a wide grin as he continued to play. My cheeks burned as I saw the front row peeking over towards the wings, wondering what he was smiling at. I quickly backed away, trying to stay out of view when I felt Ronnie's hand on my back, holding me in place.

"You're not going anywhere." She said. "They're just gonna have to get used to it." I bit down on my lip, nodding, feeling my heart beat faster. I really had no problem with people not knowing about us, that was how I had wanted it from the beginning, but she was right. I couldn't hide away forever. And I knew Jake didn't want me too. He had always been proud to show me off.

So why didn't I want that for myself?

Throughout the rest of the show, Jake would peek over, flashing me a shy smile, and every time I felt like I could melt into the floor, right then and there. Ronnie noticed.

I quickly snapped out of it as I felt her playfully shove me, giggling to herself.

"You guys are gross" She laughed. My cheeks burned as I shrugged, keeping my eyes locked on him.

"Oh, shut up." I sighed, a smile escaping my lips.

The rest of the night flew by in a daze.

Despite how excited I was about the next part of our life, I knew I would miss all of this once the tour was over. This was where everything began, all of our firsts, and I would remember it forever.

After their last song, I couldn't help but smile as they took their bows, beaming from ear to ear. This was always my favorite part of the night, when they were able to take it all in, and they deserved every second of it. But if there was anything I loved more...

Jake quickly ran off stage, tightly wrapping his arm around me, lifting me up and spinning me around. I clung to him, hiding my face in his neck. When he finally put me down, he stared back at me with dazed eyes, holding my face in his hands, pulling me into a passionate kiss.

"Ugh, get a room." Ronnie laughed, rolling her eyes. Jake laughed, playfully shoved her away.

"Will you get out of here?" He said, shooting her a look. She smirked, shaking her head.

"Watch it, last I checked you still need me to-"

"Alright, alright!" He laughed, cutting her off. Her smile grew as she made her way backstage, meeting up with everyone else.

He stared back at me eagerly, biting down on his lip as he ran his fingers through his hair. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him closer.

"You were amazing." I sighed, my smile growing. He pulled me into another long kiss before taking my hand, guiding me through the wings and down the hallway towards the dressing rooms.

As he lead us in, I instantly looked over, seeing Sam sitting on the couch next to Josh, both talking with their mom. I couldn't help but smile, seeing how happy he looked. I hadn't seen him smile like that in a while. He then turned to face me, his eyes meeting mine and his face instantly dropping. My body went cold. I hated the idea that I was the reason he was unhappy when all he's ever done was take care of me. I wish I could give him the same in return.

"Mom and I are gonna head back." Ronnie said, smirking over at Jake. My cheeks burned as he nodded, shooting her a look.

"Okay, yeah, we're gonna meet you all back at the house in a little bit. We just gotta get everything packed up." She nodded, her smile growing. I peeked up at Jake who conveniently avoided my eyes. What was going on? Whatever it was, Ronnie was clearly in on it.

I didn't want to get my hopes up, but.. could it finally be what I thought it was?

As we all gathered our bags, Jake waited for me by the door, reaching out and taking my hand, leading us down the hallway. I don't know what it was, but something just felt.. different tonight. He was quieter than usual, his grip a little tighter, his eyes lingering on me a little longer with every glance.

On the drive back, Jake and I sat on the couch in the main area of the bus, his arm wrapped around me, pulling me up against him. I laid one of my legs over his, just trying to get that much closer.

Close would never be close enough with him.

As we pulled up their driveway, Jake sat up, anxiously peeking out the window, his grip on my leg getting tighter.

"You okay?" I asked, gently grabbing into his arm, pulling him closer. He nodded, biting down on his lip, keeping his eyes locked out the window.

"Mhm.." He managed. My heart started beating faster.

"Are.. are we gonna go in?" I asked. He hesitated for a moment, finally turning to face me.

"Y-yeah. Um.. just.. just wait here for a second, okay?" He said cheerfully, leaning down and kissing my cheek.

"O-oh.. yeah, okay. But what's going o-" He cut me off, quickly kissing me on the lips, flashing me a wide grin as he backed away.

"Just.. wait here." He said, his eyes lighting up before quickly making his way down the steps. I looked out the window, watching him as he hastily made his way into the house.

Before looking back, I knew now that Sam and I were the only two left on the bus. My heart started beating faster as I finally turned to face him.

"You.. you were really good tonight." I said softly, feeling my cheeks burn. He picked up his head, looking over at me from the table.

"I'm surprised you even knew I was there." He said, forcing a smile.

"Sam.." I sighed, my face dropping. He shrugged, avoiding my eyes. We sat in silence for a few minutes before he finally forced himself up from the table, making his way over, sitting down across from me. I held my stare on him, unsure of what to say, feeling my heart pounding in my chest. It was bad enough I was already nervous about whatever was going on with Jake, now this was happening?

"Jess, I just don't think it's fair for you to make any.. permanent decisions before knowing.. everything." He muttered, looking down at my hands.

"What do you mean?" I asked. I heard him sigh, hesitating before finally peeking back up at me, his eyes sad.

"Jess, you.. you have to know by now.. right?" He said softly. My heart jumped. Did he know what Jake was up to? Did everyone know but me?

"I.. I don't know what you're talking about." I managed, staring back at him. His cheeks burned red as he forced himself to hold his stare on me, now reaching out for my hand. My heart jumped.

"Jess.. you're my best friend, and I.. I care about you so much. I would do anything to make you happy, as.. I'm sure you would do for me.. right?" He asked. I bit down on my lip, hesitating before eventually nodding. His smile grew.

"Ever since the night we kissed, I.. I haven't been able to stop thinking about you." He sighed, his eyes moving down to my lips. I felt my body get hot, my heart pounding in my chest. "And.. not in a 'best friend' kind of way. But in an.. 'I would give anything to be with you' kind of way."

My heart dropped. What was he doing?

No.. he couldn't be doing this now.

I stayed silent, holding my stare on him. He stared back at me, as if waiting for me to say something, but nothing came out.

"It's just that.. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I didn't tell you how I felt before.." He said softly, his voice trailing off.

"Before.. what?"

"Before you choose him." He mumbled.

"Sam, I.. already did choose him."

"You know what I mean, Jess." He sighed. "And.. I know I said that I was here no matter what but.. if you choose him.. I can't guarantee that I can be that for you anymore. It just.. it hurts too much."

I did know what he meant, but.. that didn't change anything.

"Jess, I.. I really don't know how to say this because I.. I've never felt like this about anyone before but.."

"Sam.." I sighed, not wanting him to say anymore, not wanting him to ruin what he had by saying too much.

"Jess, I love yo-"

"Sam, don't." I said, quickly cutting him off. His face dropped as he gently pulled his hand away. He stayed quiet, avoiding my eyes.

"Sam, I just.. you.. you have no idea what your friendship means-"

"Don't do that, Jess.. I want to be more than that."

I felt like I was going to be sick. I didn't want to lose him, but when it came down to it.. I had already chosen. And I would choose him every time.

"I'm sorry, Sam." I finally managed. He nodded, forcing a gentle smile.

"It's okay." He said softly, peeking back up at me. "I.. I just.. I had to tell you, at least once."

"Sam, I-"

"It's okay, Jess. I.. I think you should go. He's probably ready for you now."