"So one of my old friends is bringing his family out to the show tonight." Jake said, taking my hand, guiding us towards the venue. I avoided the obvious stares from the fans waiting outside the front of the building, feeling my cheeks burn. I already knew what they were thinking, but it was too exhausting having to pretend anymore. Jake flashed them a smile and waved as he held open the door, guiding us in. I could already hear their whispers before I was out of earshot. I could tell he noticed. He leaned down, gently kissing my cheek as he lead us through the wings towards the stage.

Before I had the chance to pull my hand away, Sam turned towards me, his face dropping as his eyes shot down to our hands. My heart dropped. This wasn't how I wanted him to find out. He then looked back up at me, giving me a forced smile, bringing his attention back to his bass.

"So, this is a thing huh?" Danny asked, shooting me a look. I kept my eyes down. I already knew what he was thinking. I'm sure he hated me, and I didn't blame him. Jake wrapped his arm around me, pulling me closer, kissing the top of my head.

"Yeah, yeah.." He said simply. "We don't have to talk about it."

"I hear Will is coming out tonight." Josh asked, changing the subject. Jake nodded.

"Yeah, I haven't seen him in years, so, that'll be nice."

"Isn't it weird that.. our friends are getting married and having kids? We're old now." Josh laughed, sitting down on one of the amps.

"Yeah.." Sam muttered, keeping his eyes down, continuing to tune his bass. "Weird."

I could sense his tone.

For the remainder of their soundcheck, I hung back in the wings, going through my camera. The last thing I wanted was to be around all of them right now, not until I got to talk to Sam, at least. When they were done, Danny and Josh made their way through first. Danny avoiding my eyes as he nonchalantly walked past. Josh doing the same, following him towards the dressing rooms. Jake then made his way over, gently touching my arm.

"You okay?" He asked. I nodded, giving him a gentle smile.

"Yeah." I sighed, motioning towards Sam. "I just.. I need to talk to him." He bit down on his lip, holding his stare on me. I shook my head, leaning in, gently kissing him on the cheek.

"It's okay." I said softly. "I just.. I need to." He nodded.

"Okay. But.. come find me when you're done." He muttered, forcing a smile but his eyes still unsure, then followed Danny and Josh down the hall.

My heart started beating faster as I looked out, his back facing me.

"Hey.." I said, making my way out, sitting down on one of the amps.

"Hey." He said softly, keeping his eyes down.

"Sam, I-"

"It's okay, Jess." He said, quickly cutting me off. "I.. I know you love him. I'm not oblivious to that. I knew that before anything happened between us." I felt my heart drop.

"I'm sorry." I sighed. He finally placed his bass on the rack, turning around to face me.

"You don't have to be sorry." He said, forcing a gentle smile.

"Yes I do. I care about you, Sam, and I didn't want you to find out like that. I.. I am sorry." He shrugged.

"It is what it is. If you're happy then.. I'm happy. But.. I can tell you, I won't be able to handle another breakup, Jess. Seeing you like that.. killed me, and.. I'm sorry, but.. I just feel like.. it's gonna happen again."

I bit down on my lip, feeling my face get hot. I was terrified that he was right, but I just couldn't let go. No matter what, I don't think I'd ever be able to let go. Not for good.

He stayed quiet, holding his stare on me for a moment. My heart started beating faster the longer we sat together in silence. Before everything happened, I loved nothing more than just sitting with him in silence. Just having him around was comforting. Now he made me nervous.

"Sam, I just.. I don't want to lose you. You're my best friend." He sighed, nodding, looking down at his feet.

"Yeah. Best friend.." He scoffed. "Jess, I.. I care about you too, but.. you know I have feelings for you. And I know you have feelings for me. You can't look at me and tell me that night didn't mean anything. You would be lying if you tried." He giggled to himself. I couldn't help but smile, feeling my cheeks burn.

I felt my heart beat faster. He was right. That night with him was one of the most romantic nights of my life, and I would never forget it.

"Sam, I know, but.. Danny even said so.." I said softly, avoiding his eyes. "You're too good for me, and.. he's right. You've been nothing but amazing to me, and I don't deserve it." He bit down on his lip, containing his smile.

"Don't listen to Danny." He giggled to himself. "I'm not that great." I rolled my eyes, smirking back at him.

"Yes you are." I sighed.

"Well, if you say so."

I shook my head, holding my stare on him. His smile grew as his cheeks got redder.

"But.. you do deserve it though, Jess. So.. why won't you let yourself be treated the way you deserve?"

"Because I don't want to hurt you, Sam." I said softly.

"So then don't." He blurted out. "Look, I know you're always going to love him. He's special to you and I understand that, and I can even find a way to be okay with that, because.. that's just how you feel. But.. that doesn't mean you can't lov-.. feel that way about me. I just think.. once you finally let yourself be.. cared for the way you deserve, you'll never look back."

"Sam, I.. I don't do casual, I.. I can't be someone you just-"

"You would never be that. You are so much more than that to me, Jess. " He said, cutting me off.

"But you said you've never felt-"

"I know what I said, but that's not a problem anymore. It would be different with you." He said softly, looking down.

My heart jumped.

Was he saying what I thought he was saying?

"Jess, I will always be there for you, whenever you need me, no matter what you decide but.. we can't just pretend that we don't have.. real feelings for each other. And.. maybe I have more than you do, or.. maybe not, I don't know, and that's fine, you can't help how you feel, but.. we'd just be lying to ourselves if we denied what we have together."

My heart was pounding in my chest as he peeked back up at me, giving me a subtle smile.

"Jess, if you can confidently say that you love him and he's the one you want to be with, well then as your friend, I'll be happy for you. But.. as someone who wants to be so much more than your friend.. he's familiar to you, so he feels safe, and I understand that but.. I think you're just scared to go that far with me, because you know.. you'd change your mind."

I stared up at him with wide-eyes, my body feeling like it was on fire as he leaned in, gently kissing my cheek before heading backstage.