"Have you.. ever had a girlfriend before?" Jess asked. My stomach dropped.

"Oh.." I said softly. "Um.. okay.. uh.. well, I guess.. technically.. officially.. no." She bit down on her lip, nodding.

"Okay." She said softly, looking down at her hands, now gently tracing their way up my arms. My heart started beating faster. Her fingers were always cold, but I liked it. They felt refreshing against my warm skin.

"Why?" I finally asked. She shrugged, avoiding my eyes.

"I don't know, I just.. I hear things and then.. I overthink and I just-" I sighed. I could only imagine what everyone was telling her after they found out about us. They all knew that I had never dated anyone before, and I'm sure the idea of that was freaking her out now.

"And you just want to talk about it, it's okay." I said, tilting her chin back up to face me. She nodded as she stared back into my eyes. My cheeks burned the longer she held her stare on me. It was so easy to get lost in her big brown eyes; I could stare into them for hours.

"Okay, so.. what do you want to talk about?" I said simply, gently tracing my fingers up her neck, tucking her hair behind her ear to get it out of her face. My eyes quickly moved down to her lips. All I wanted to do was kiss her.

Over and over and over again.

"Well, do you.. do you ever want to?" She asked. My smile grew. Of course I wanted to. I wanted nothing more than that, especially now.

"Mhm.." I managed, nodding. "It's just that.. I take that kind of thing.. seriously. I.. I don't just.. jump into just anything. I.. I want to make sure it's someone.. that I really want to be with."

She nodded, holding her stare on me.

"But.. you've hooked up with plenty of girls before.. right? You.. you never wanted to be with.. any of them?" She asked, avoiding my eyes. My stomach dropped. This was the last thing I wanted to talk about with her. But.. it was before her. I did a lot of things before her that I wasn't exactly proud of. But.. that had nothing to do with the fact that all I wanted was for her to be mine now.

"Oh.. well.." I said, laughing nervously. I knew if I said the wrong thing, I could ruin everything, and I knew how she overthought, and I never wanted her to think she was just another one of those girls. "Um.. I.. okay, I.. no, I.. I guess not." I sighed. That didn't sound positive at all.

"Oh.." She said softly. I could tell she was already upset by it. I bit down on my lip, feeling my heart beat faster.

"But.. but you've hooked up with guys before, right? So.. you.. you know-"

"No." She said, cutting me off, her cheeks burning red. My heart dropped. Now I'm sure her head was spinning. Just by the way she was picking at her nails, I could tell how uneasy she was.

"N-no?" I asked. She shook her head.

"Oh.." I said quietly. She peeked up at me. My heart was racing.

"So.. that's something that's.. important to you." I said, gently taking her hand, slowly intertwining her fingers in mine. I held them tighter, trying my best to warm them up.

I knew we were bound to have this conversation eventually, but I hadn't really anticipated it being so soon. I didn't want to think that far ahead with her, not when I had no idea how she was going to feel tomorrow. We were best friends, and.. I knew that taking that next step wasn't something I would take lightly. Because.. she wasn't just one of those girls. I had never wanted anything like what I wanted with her.. but I wasn't dumb. Even just how upset she got over Jake hanging out with Charlotte.. I knew she was still hurting over him. And that was okay, that was to be expected, and.. as her friend, I had no problem being there to help her work through it and heal but.. I had never experienced this with someone before.. I didn't even know how to be a boyfriend, but I wanted to be the best I could be.. for her.

"Yeah." She nodded. I bit down on my lip, staring back at her, my cheeks burning. "Is.. is it not.. to you?" She asked.

"I.. I mean.. I don't know.. but maybe it would be.. if it was with someone I was actually.. in love with." I said softly, feeling my heart pounding in my chest. I already knew how I felt about her, but I just.. I couldn't say it. Not until I knew how she felt. Not until.. she said it first. This was all still so new to me. I had never felt like this about anyone before and the last thing I wanted to do was rush into anything and ruin it. Especially with her.

I had already seen first hand what a train-wreck that could become.

She nodded, giving me a gentle smile. My cheeks burned as a smile escaped from my lips. I really hoped she could tell what I was hinting towards.

"So.. h-how many guys have you.. been with then?" I asked. I bit down on my lip, instantly regretting asking that. That was none of my business, and honestly, I hated the thought of her being with anyone else.

"Just.. one." She said softly. My heart sank.

"Oh." I whispered.

Just one. One meaning.. Jake.

That's when I knew that no matter what happened.. she would always love him. And no matter what happened between us, that was just something I was going to have to accept.

She held her wide-eyed gaze on me, picking at her fingers again. I reached over, taking both of her hands in mine.

"Look, we.. we don't have to talk about this right now, it's okay. We can be as serious or.. not serious as you want. I just.. I want you to know.. because.. I feel like this is why you asked me.. but you're not someone to just.. hook up with, okay? I don't want you to ever wonder what this is. You're my best friend, and I care about you and I.. really.. really like you.. and.. we'll just see how.. you feel." Her smile grew as she held on tighter to my hands, nodding.

"Okay." She sighed, her eyes moving down to my lips. I smirked as I reached up, holding her face in my hands, pulling her in to a gentle kiss. I felt her smile as her hands moved to my chest, slowly making their way up. My heart started beating faster as I felt her kiss me back harder. I tried my best not to flinch as she bumped into my nose, not wanting her to stop. I slowly moved my hands up, tangling them in her hair, pulling her closer. I could feel her lips curl into a smile as her hands started moving down to my waist, pulling me up against her. I sighed as her lips slowly moved across my cheek, down to my neck. I could hear her giggling as her kisses got harder.

"What's so funny?" I laughed, pulling her closer. Her smile grew as she peeked up at me.

"Nothing." She sighed. "You're just.. you're so cute." I bit down on my lip, feeling my face get hot.

"You're cute." I said softly, pulling her back in to another kiss. She wrapped her arms around my neck, staring back at me with a dazed look in her eyes.

I had to bite my tongue to keep it to myself, but in that moment I wanted nothing more than to tell her, to tell her.. exactly how I felt but.. if I had learned anything, it was the weight of.. that word. And.. I had never said that to anyone before.

But in every sense of the word.. I was hers.

"Jess.." I said, but she kept walking, quickly making her way down the hallway. I felt like I was going to be sick. She wouldn't even listen to me. Everything in me wanted to run after her but my legs wouldn't move.

When she finally turned to corner, I felt my eyes start to water but I quickly shook it off, heading backstage.

I had done nothing but do my best to avoid Charlotte since the day she got here, why would Jess ever think I'd be trying to sneak around with her? I wasn't trying to "show her" anything.

She made her point, and I was willing to do whatever it took to get her back. If she wanted to talk, then fine, we would talk. We could talk about whatever she wanted for as long as she wanted. If she needed me to be her friend, then fine, I'd be that for her too. I didn't care what it took, all I wanted was to call her mine. And once I did, I would never let her slip away again.

I shoved my hands into my pockets, fumbling with the little black box within my fingers. I had been carrying it around with me ever since the day I got it, just waiting for the perfect moment. Even still, despite.. whatever we were going through right now.. I knew that in the end, we wound up together.

"There you are!" I heard from behind me. I turned around to see Charlotte sticking her head out of the doorway of her dressing room, flashing me a smile. I felt my cheeks burn, my jaw clench. This was her fault, and I knew it. I'm sure she had been the one to tell Jess there was something going on between us, but I was too angry to deal with it right now. I ignored her, continuing down the hallway.

"Jake! Hey, wait!" She yelled. I could hear her footsteps, gradually getting louder behind me. I sighed, keeping my eyes ahead, continuing to ignore her as long as I could.

"Hey.. what's going on-" She reached out, grabbing onto my arm. I quickly pulled it away, turning around, glaring at her.

"Will you stop!" I snapped. She backed away, staring up at me, wide-eyed. "Just stop! I don't know what you're trying to do, but you're fucking everything up! Who do you think you are, telling Jess that you and I are hanging out? Take a hint, okay! I don't want you! I want her!" She held her stare on me, her face dropping.

"Jake.." She said softly, holding her stare on me. She reached out for my hand, but I quickly pulled it back, feeling my heart start to race. Her face started to get angry, her cheeks burning red.

"What is so great about this girl that you want her this much? Even after she's shown you that she doesn't want you." She snapped.

My stomach dropped.

"Shut up!" I yelled, feeling my cheeks burn. "You don't understand! And I don't care if anyone else understands, I love her, and I will always love her, and I'll be damned if someone like you fucks this up for me just because you can't take a hint. I don't want you, I don't even see you, Charlotte. I don't see anyone but her.. and I don't care how long it takes-"

"Jake, she left you for your brother. She clearly doesn't give a shit about you, so why are you wasting your time on someone like her who doesn't appreciate you when I'm literally throwing myself at you?" She said, tears coming to her eyes. I sighed, looking away.

"Honestly Charlotte.. I don't blame her. I.. I haven't been the best boyfriend to her either. I've said things that I regret.. and I haven't been there for her the way she's needed me.. she's.. she's not the bad guy here. She deserves someone who can give her everything she wants and.. right now.. I.. I guess that's Sam. She needed me, and I wasn't there. I have to start taking responsibility too, and I am trying, but now she thinks I'm fucking around with you to spite her and-" I stopped, feeling tears come to my eyes. I quickly wiped my face, taking a deep breath.

"Jake, I just wanted-"

"No, I know what you wanted, and you're not gonna get it. And I swear if you pull this shit again, I will make sure that you are off this tour." I yelled, storming off into my dressing room, slamming the door shut.