I could already start to feel my drink as we made our way through backstage and out the back doors towards the buses.

"What do you think they're talking about?" I asked, trailing behind Josh and Danny. I saw Danny shoot Josh a look, and then peek back at me.

"Probably nothing." He said simply. "I'm sure they'll be out in a minute." Josh nodded, keeping his eyes down. I felt my cheeks burn. I could tell they knew something. But I let it go.

"Hey!" Joe called out from their bus, making his way down the steps. "Great first show!"

"Hell yeah!" Danny called out. "Better get used to that."

"Oh, don't worry, we're ready for that every night." I then felt my cheeks burn as Charlotte made her way out of the bus, flashing them all smiles, her face dropping when she got to me.

"You guys were awesome!" She said, turning to Josh. He smiled, rolling his eyes.

"Yeah, yeah, we weren't too bad." He giggled to himself. I saw Charlotte subtly look around, I assumed looking for Jake.

"Good show." I said to her, forcing a smile. She turned back to face me, smiling back.

"Thanks." She said simply, staring me down. I held my stare on her.

"Maybe you can take photos of us sometime. The ones you take of the boys are so cute." I felt my cheeks burn with anger. The boys? Like she knew them so well.

"Sorry, I only work for them." I said, faking a laugh, rolling my eyes. She forced a smile, finally turning back to face Danny and Josh. I could feel my heart beating faster as I looked back at the venue.

What was taking them so long?

"So I hear you guys really know how to party." Kyle chimed in, hoping down the steps of their bus.

"Oh, we always celebrate on the first night." Josh said, peeking over at Danny.

"Awesome, so where are we headed?"

"There's a bar down the road if everyones ready to go." Danny said, motioning in the opposite direction. I bit down on my lip, peeking back over at the venue.

Still no sight of them.

"I.. I think I'm just gonna wait-"

"It's okay, they'll meet up with us once they get out." Josh said, giving me a gentle smile.

"It's just, I.. I think Jake just wanted to-"

"There's plenty of time for you two to be alone later. We always go out after the first show, remember?" He said, his smile growing. I felt my cheeks burn as I smirked back at him, shaking my head.

"I remember." I laughed. He motioned towards the rest of the group who had already started making their way down the sidewalk. I looked back towards the venue one more time.

"Fine." I sighed, following him close.

Josh and I trailed far enough behind where once we reached the bar, everyone else had already made their way inside. He reached forward, grabbing the door, giving me a gentle smile as he motioned inside.

Looking around, I could see Danny at the bar surrounded by Joe, Kyle, and Charlotte.

"I'm more of a table guy." Josh said, gently nudging me towards the other side of the bar. I nodded, following him close.

"Me too."

I grabbed one of the chairs that faced the door, sliding off Jake's jacket and placing it on the back. Josh didn't hesitate to wave down one of the waitresses, ordering us each two drinks.

"Two?" I laughed, propping my arm up on the table, leaning my chin on my hand. I stared back at him with a smile. His smile grew as he did the same, mimicking me.

"You gotta catch up." He laughed. "The night is still young." I shook my head, rolling my eyes.

"I'll be just fine." I said, peeking back over at the door.

"He'll be here, don't worry." Josh said softly, now leaning back in his chair, crossing his arms.

"Do you know what they're talking about?" I asked, turning back to face him. He shrugged.

"I have an idea." He said.

But I already knew.. he wasn't going to tell me.

Shortly after, the waitress brought over our drinks. I could see her eyes locked on Josh as she placed his down in front of him.

"Thank you." He said cheerfully, reaching out for one, keeping his eyes down. I looked up at her, flashing her a smile as she nodded, walking away. I reached out for my drink, taking a sip as I waited for her to walk out of earshot.

"She was checking you out." I said softly, smirking at him. He peeked up at me, his cheeks burning red.

"Was she?" He asked. I nodded. He shrugged, looking back down at the table. I nodded, taking another sip of my drink.

"I guess we're not there yet, huh?" I asked. He smirked back at me, shaking his head.

"No." He said, holding his stare on me as he took another sip.

"Okay." I sighed, looking back down. He was quiet for a moment, avoiding my eyes.

"I really am sorry, you know." I finally said. He peeked back up at me, his face dropping.

"I know." He said softly. "It's okay. I'm okay. But.. can I ask you something?" I felt my cheeks burn.

"Sure." I said simply, taking a big sip.

"What's going on with Sam?" He said, keeping his eyes down, slowly twirling the stirrer in his drink. My heart jumped.

"Nothing's going on with Sam." I said, knowing my face was now bright red. "W-why do you ask?" He shrugged.

"Because he's.. been different. And I.. recognize the different. Because.. I've been there." I bit down on my lip, feeling my heart beat faster.

"I.. I'm not sure. Him and I.. we're friends, but.. t-that's it." I managed, taking another sip. I saw him smirk over at me, his eyes moving down to my glass as I switched it out for the second one.

"You know.. you only drink like that when you're nervous." He said, giving me a subtle smile. "So.. what's going on?"

I looked back over at the front doors.

"It's nothing." I sighed, avoiding his eyes. He nodded.

"Alright, you don't have to tell me. But.. you know you always can.. if you want to."

"I appreciate that." I said softly. He shrugged, taking another sip.

Finally, my eyes shot over as I heard the front doors open, Jake walking in first and Sam slowly trailing behind. They stopped to talk to Danny at the bar first, and then panned the room. I waved as Jake's eyes landed on me. His smile grew and he made his way over.

"I brought you your jacket." He said, lifting his off of the back of my chair, moving it over to his. "Sorry to take it back, but.. I was getting cold." He giggled to himself. He sat down next to me, putting his hand on my thigh, pulling me closer to him. I felt my heart jump as a smile escape my lips. I leaned in, gently kissing him on the cheek.

"So.. what were you guys talking about?" I asked, motioning over to Sam who had stopped at the bar with Danny.

"Oh, nothing, don't worry about it. So, I take it we're celebrating?" He said, looking over at my drinks. I laughed, playfully shoving him.

"You're gonna have to catch up."

Jake peered over, trying to get the waitress' attention. She quickly made her way over, flashing him a smile.

"I guess two for me too." He laughed, reaching over for my glass, taking a sip. She nodded, looking back over at Josh.

"And.. anything else for you?" She asked. I smirked at him. He rolled his eyes, containing his smile.

"Um.. yeah. Two more for me, and two more for her. Thank you." She nodded, quickly making her way back over to the bar.

"Why are you ignoring her?" I laughed. He shrugged, his smile growing.

"Will you stop?" He laughed. I sighed, leaning back in my chair.

"Fine."

Soon enough, the two drinks turned to four, the four turned to eight, and then suddenly the table was filled with empty glasses. I felt Jake's hand move up my leg, moving closer to me. Looking over, I could see his face flushed pink, his eyes completely bloodshot.

"You okay?" I laughed, staring back up at him. He flashed me a smile, leaning in close.

"I'm fine." He giggled to himself, slowly starting to sway. "How are you?" He asked, gently kissing my cheek. I backed away, giving him a gentle smile.

"I'm fine. You had way more to drink than I did." I said, now peeking over at Josh who had gotten up, joining the rest of the guys at the bar. I didn't blame him.

"Jess, I'm fine." He groaned, leaning back in his chair, his eyes closing as he continued to sway. I sighed, staring back at him.

I could tell.. the night was over.

"Come on." I said, getting up, reaching out my hand. "Let's get back to the bus. You should go to bed."

"Only if you come with me." He laughed, pushing himself up from his seat. I wrapped my arm around him as he slumped over, leaning all of his weight on me.

"Alright, alright.." I said, guiding him towards the door.

"Hey.. you heading out?" Sam said, coming over to us. He laughed, looking over at Jake. "He okay?" I nodded, rolling my eyes.

"Yeah.." I sighed, my face dropping. He bit down on his lip, staring back at me.

"Okay, um.. you.. you want me to help?"

"I should be okay." I said, smiling back up at him. He nodded, holding his stare on me.

"Are.. you coming back?" He asked. I peeked back up at Jake who's eyes were closed, his head leaning against mine.

"Probably not." I sighed. He nodded, looking down at his feet.

"Okay. Well, I'll.. I'll see you when we get back then." He said, forcing a smile. I nodded, holding my stare on him for a moment before guiding Jake out through the front doors.

"Where are we going?" Jake groaned, leaning against me. I stumbled, grabbing onto his waist tighter for balance.

"Back to the bus." I said. I heard him giggle.

"Oh, I like that." He said, reaching up, gently touching my nose. I sighed, holding in my smile.

"Stop that." I laughed.

"Why?" He whined, now dragging his feet.

"Jake, come on." I said, adjusting him in my arms. He stumbled, quickly catching his balance.

"W-what's wrong? A-are you mad?" He said, reaching his hand up for the door as we finally reached the bus. I sighed, helping him up the steps, leading him into the back room.

I pulled my arm away and he stumbled, falling face down onto the bed. He groaned, grabbing one of the pillows, pulling it up against him.

"Come here." He said, reaching his hand out for me. I hesitated, but finally sat down on the edge of the bed.

"You should go to sleep." I said softly, gently pushing the hair out of his face.

"You're mad.." He said, now trying to push himself back up.

"Jake, I just.." I stopped, shaking my head. "It's not gonna matter, you're not gonna remember any of this anyway." He stared back at me, confused.

"W-what is it?"

"I thought.. something was gonna happen.. tonight." I said softly, peeking back up at him.

"Jess.." He said, reaching out for me, gently touching my cheek. I felt my heart beat faster as he stared back at me, doing his best to keep his eyes open. "I'm sorry. I.. I want to-"

"No." I said, moving away. "Don't. Not now." He bit down on his lip, staring back up at me. His eyes slowly started closing again as he swayed back and forth. I got up from the bed but he quickly reached out, grabbing my hand.

"Don't go."

"Jake, you should go to sleep." I said softly, pulling him in, kissing his forehead. When I backed away, I saw his face get angry, his jaw clenching.

"Are you going back to the bar?" He asked.

"I.. I wasn't-"

"You're gonna go see Sam." He snapped. My heart dropped.

"Jake, I'll stay." I sighed, sitting back down. He held his stare on me, moving his arms out to hold himself up. I reached out, gently running fingers up and down his arm. His face softened as he stared back at me, his eyes moving down to my lips.

"Jake, can I talk to you about something." I asked, feeling my heart start to beat faster. I knew he wouldn't remember this but.. maybe that would make it easier for me to talk about it with him.

"Of course." He said, holding his stare on me.

"I.. um.. C-charlotte... it's just.. the way she looks at you.. and.. the way you really.. don't stop her.. sometimes I just feel like.. well, I.. I get jealous.. because maybe she would be better for you. You guys have so much more in common and-" He started giggling, swaying back and forth. My stomach dropped

"Y-you're laughing? W-what are you laughing at?" I asked, feeling my face get hot.

"You don't like how it feels, do you?" He said, shaking his head. I felt my chest get tight.

"W-what?"

"I'm saying.. it sucks.. feeling like someone else can just.. take me away, doesn't it?" My heart started pounding.

"J-jake.." I sighed, pulling away from him. He stared back at me, his face dropping again. I felt tears start to come to my eyes as I got up from the bed.

"I.. I'm trying to talk to you about something and.. that's what you say?" I snapped. He rolled his eyes.

"Well, isn't it true?" He said, his face gettin angrier. I felt like I was going to be sick.

"Jake, I.. I can't keep doing this. Every. Single. Time. you drink.. there's a problem."

"Well, maybe because there's always going to be a fucking problem." He said, repositioning himself to catch his balance. I wiped my eyes, looking away.

"Jake, I-"

"I wanted to propose to you tonight, okay? I did. But I had to ask my brother how I should do it.. because he knows you better than I do. Do you know how that feels?" My heart dropped.

"J-jake I.. I would love anything-"

"And that's exactly what he said." He sighed, looking away. I bit down on my lip, feeling more tears come to my eyes.

"We can talk about this tomorrow." I said, getting back up.

"Fine." He sighed, plopping back down onto the pillows, flipping over. "Whatever."

"Whatever?" I asked, turning back to face him.

"Yeah. Whatever." He snapped. I held my stare on him for a moment before finally walking out, slamming the door behind me.

I couldn't believe this was happening. Again. This was supposed to be one of the happiest times of my life but instead..

The tears started falling faster as I quickly made my way through the main area of the bus. I don't understand why it was so hard for him to talk to me. Why it was so hard for me to talk to him. Everything was perfect... until it mattered.

As I reached for the door, it quickly swung open where I was now face to face with Sam. He jumped back, staring up at me wide-eyed, his face instantly dropping.

"Jess.." He said softly. "W-what happened?" I shook my head, the tears now turning to sobs. He hesitated, but eventually reached out, pulling me into a hug. I wrapped my arms around him tightly, pulling him in closer.

"I know I said it was okay to cry on me, but.. I'd hate for you to make it a habit." He whispered to me, giggling to himself. I couldn't help but smile.

"W-what are you doing back?" I asked.

"I.. I just wanted to make sure you were okay. I know how Jake gets when he's.. as drunk as he is. W-what happened? Did.. did he talk to you?" I sighed, wiping my eyes.

"Yeah.. he talked to me." I muttered, looking away.

"Did he-"

"No." I snapped. He was quiet for a moment, biting down on his lip, until he turned away.

"Hey, look.. it's snowing." He said, now peeking out the window. I wiped my eyes, leaning down to look. The sky was now a faded brown, the giant snowflakes glistening through the golden yellow streetlights outside. It was beautiful.

Sam maneuvered around me, going over to his bunk, grabbing one of his sweaters and brought it over. He motioned up, and pulled it over my head, gently running his fingers through my hair to get it out of my face. My cheeks burned as he gave me a gentle smile, taking my hand in his. He motioned toward the door.

"Come on."