The next morning I woke up in the back room alone. Looking around, I saw the blankets pushed over on the other side of the bed. I guess Amy had already woken up. I could hear the faint sound of people talking out in the main area of the bus.

I opened the door to see Amy and Josh sitting together eating at the table.

"Hey!" Jake said cheerily, rolling over and reaching out from his bunk. He gently grabbed onto my shirt, pulling me closer. My cheeks burned.

"How'd you sleep?" He asked, smiling up at me.

"Oh..fine." I said. He tried pulling me closer, but I hesitated. He stopped, looking back up at me confused.

"W-what's wrong? Are you okay?" He asked, reaching out again.

"Yeah I'm fine, I just.. I'm gonna make some coffee."

"Oh, no, it's okay, I'll do it, you sit down." He said, now sitting up. I shook my head.

"N-no it's fine I got it." I said, going over to the counter. 

I peeked over at Josh and saw Amy already looking over at me, smiling. She subtly motioned towards Josh, raising her eyebrows. I quickly looked away and continued making my coffee, stirring it a little too long.

"You alright?" Jake asked, coming over and leaning up against the counter. He crossed his arms, looking down at me.

"Y-yeah. Why?" I asked, avoiding eye contact. I don't know why what Amy had said bothered me as much as it did. Of course she would make me want to second guess Jake, but it was how accurate everything was. How would she know if he wasn't...

"You just seem a little.. off." He said, reaching over and taking the spoon from my hands, tossing it into the sink. I shrugged, looking over at it, and then back to my coffee, taking a big sip.

"I'm fine." I said softly.

"Did Amy say anything to you last night?" He asked, his voice getting lower. "I hope she didn't make you too uncomfortable. I'm sorry you had to deal with that. You know, you can always come stay with me. I know it's cramped but-"

"She didn't say anything." I lied. "I'm.. I'm gonna go lie back down. I don't really feel good. I want to make sure I'm okay for tonight."

"I'll come lay with you." He said cheerily, following me towards the back room. I stopped.

"No it's okay.. I.. I'm okay by myself." His face dropped.

"Jess.. what's going on?" He said softly, his face dropping. His eyes got wide. "Did.. Did I do something?" My stomach dropped. I felt guilty. I didn't really have any real reason to be upset with him. For all I know, I was falling for exactly what Amy wanted to me to think. 

But.. why would she be pushing me to be with Josh?

"Um.. come here." I finally said, reaching out for Jake's hand and pulling him into the back room, shutting the door behind us. He sat down on the edge of the bed and stared up at me with sad eyes.

"Jess, if I did anything, I didn't mean to. I don't-"

"Amy was telling me.. how you are with girls." I blurted out. He scrunched up his face, his cheeks getting redder.

"What do you mean.. how I am with girls?" He asked, now leaning forward. My heart started beating faster.

"She.. she told me how you are. How you were with her, and how you are with everyone you've ever been with and how I'm just.. another one of them and am I worried about the next girl and I.. I didn't want to believe her but it was so specific that it was hard not to, and she said after you sleep with a girl, you just don't care anym-" He reached forward, grabbing me by the shirt and pulling me onto his lap.

"Hey, hey, hey.." He sighed, staring back at me. He gently ran his fingers through my hair. "Please. Don't listen to anything she says. She's just upset and angry with me, and honestly, probably jealous of you. Jess.. you are not just another girl, I swear to you."

I stared back into his eyes, feeling my face get even redder. He gently traced his fingers down my cheek, staring back, and biting down on his lip.

"I really hope I've never made you feel that way." He said softly. "You're not just another girl. You.." He hesitated, scrunching up his face.

"You're.. you're it, Jess." He sighed, his lips curling into a subtle smile. He reached up, gently tangling his fingers in my hair, gently pulling me closer. "I'm yours.. and I can't speak for you but.." He stopped, his grip getting tighter.

"What?" I asked, reaching out, gently grabbing onto his shirt.

"There isn't going to be a next girl. Not.. not if you don't want there to be." He said, biting his lip. I could feel my heart pounding in my chest.

"W-what?" I asked, backing up. His face dropped, his eyes getting wide.

"I'm.. I'm sorry.. if that's too much for you. But.." He shrugged. "That's how I feel."

"Jake, I-"

"I'm sorry. I.. I don't want to overwhelm you. I keep doing that, but I'm fine with being the one who feels the most. I just.. I need you to know."

I let go of his shirt, backing away. He sighed, letting go as I got up from his lap. His face dropped, his lips turning into a frown.

"I'm.. I'm sorry, I just.. I need a minute." I said, moving away, going back out into the main area of the bus and quickly locking myself in the bathroom. 

I hated how there was no privacy here.

I sat down on top of the toilet, covering my face with my hands, taking a deep breath. Was he saying what I thought he was saying? Everything was happening so fast. Too fast. This is exactly what I was afraid of once I got here. This is exactly what Amy was talking about. I just.. how could I know for sure he wasn't doing the same thing to me?

And if it was different with me, how could he be so sure? And what was wrong with me then if I didn't know as fast as he did? Did that mean that maybe he wasn't the one for me? And if you're with the person you're supposed to be with for the rest of your life, shouldn't you not be thinking about someone else? 

No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't shake the idea of Josh from the first night. And now I was curious about the other songs that Amy said he had written for me. Would he have ever shown them to me? Would I have ever known otherwise?

This was just like me. The perfect guy was telling me that I was the one for him, and the first thing I do is look for any reason to run. But I just didn't think it was fair for me to be with anyone if I couldn't stop thinking about someone else.

There was a knock at the door.

"Jess?" They asked. It was Josh. I felt my stomach drop. I really hoped Amy hadn't said anything to him. I sighed. Of course she had. Why did she have to show up? Everything was going perfectly before she got here. Now I had no idea how I felt anymore.

"Yeah." I said, wiping my eyes. "Sorry, I'll be right out."

"You alright, mama?" He asked, his voice getting lower. I felt my cheeks burn. 

I loved when he called me that.

"Y-yeah. I'm fine." I sighed. I fixed my hair and wiped my face one more time before opening the door. He looked down at me, his face dropping.

"Hey, what's wrong?" He asked, I shook my head, maneuvering past him.

"Are we almost there?" I asked, trying to avoid the question. There was too much wrong right now.

"Y-yeah." He said. "About fifteen more minutes and we'll be at the venue. You sure you're okay?" He asked. I nodded, sitting down on Jake's bunk. I saw Josh's eyes move from the door to the back room and then back to me. He then slowly made his way over, sitting down next to me, his leg gently brushing up against mine. I felt my heart start to pound.

He looked down at me, giving me a gentle smile. I bit down on my lip, looking back up at him.

"Are.. are there more songs?" I finally asked. His face got redder, his smile fading.

"Hmm?" He asked, leaning forward.

"Did you write.. more than one song for me?" I asked quietly. His jaw dropped a little, but he caught it, disguising it as a smile. I could tell that caught him off guard. He nodded.

"Yes." He finally said, holding his stare on me. I nodded, looking back down. We were both quiet for a moment, but I could feel his stare still lingering on me.

"Could you play them for me?" I whispered, keeping my eyes down.

"Sure."