Carmen:

Sugar came rushing up my throat when I saw him standing there, waiting at my door. In any other sense I would've ran up and branded him with kisses, run my hands through his hair, just revel in being close to him again, anything like that.

"What are you doing here?" I asked again, standing a few feet from him.

"Can't a lad come and visit his girl? I thought you'd be happier to see me." He smiled thinly. My legs shook as I walked to the front door. He stepped aside, allowing me to put in the key and turn the knob.

"Don't." My voice when he reached a hand up. He let it drop back down to his side.

"Carmen, I know you're pissed off at me."

"Ok, and?"

"And what?"

"You're acknowledging it. Thanks so much." I cracked sarcastically, throwing the door open. "I'm not inviting you in."

He stopped from taking another step, running his hands through his hair and huffing deeply. "I know you're pissed off at me. But I don't know what else to say. I can't apologize for anything, because I didn't do anything. Hey." His hand wrapped around my arm.

"Van." I said tiredly. "I can't do this now."

"Did you go to work at the office today?"

"No." I said shortly, taking another step inside and gripping the door. I didn't want to give in like this. Although he didn't realize it, I was hurt. "So is Abby a childhood friend or something?"

"She's from Llandudno. And she's just a friend. Come on then." He took a step forward. I turned my back to him; I felt him hovering right behind me. I wanted him to grab me again, I wanted to be able to turn around and just touch his face. But pride and stubbornness got the best of me. "So what then? You're gonna give up on me like that then? For some girl I haven't even looked twice at?" There was a hardness in his voice that pierced my heart. My legs wobbled for a bit, but then I mechanically turned around to look at him.

"Do you want me to give you up? So you can live your life in peace in London without any commitments?"

"I hopped the first plane here to see you. Does it seem like I want you to leave me in peace?" He cupped a hand around my face. I practically melted. His breath washed over me warmly. "I'd come running just to have you leather me with your lips."

I think that was the part that did it for me. Having Van standing in front of me like that, after what felt like an eternity of being long distance, was like being doused in ice water. And I mean that in the best way possible.

My senses fired up around him and it almost felt like I'd woken up from a nap. That being here, with him in front of me, was the first time I'd been awake in a long time.

;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

I was sitting next to him on my couch, bringing him up to date on all the things that'd changed recently.

"So are you quitting the dentist gig then?" His fingers played absently with mine, bringing them up to his face.

"I don't know. Maybe."

"So are you going tomorrow? To your internship?"

"Yes."

"And then work?"

"Yes." I knew I was probably going to have to quit the dentist. But that wasn't exactly heartbreaking after all.

"I figured you were working somewhere corporal. I've never seen you look that..."

"That what?"

"Nevermind."

"What?" I looked at him.

He shook his head, shrugging. "I've missed you loads."

"Me too." I murmured, shivering slightly as his fingers ran underneath my chin. He looked different than last time. Something in his face looked sharper, older if that made sense. "You cut your hair." I said, smiling a little.

"It was getting too...feathery looking."

"I liked it."

"You don't like it now?"

"I'd like you even if you shaved your head."

"Should I then?"

"No." I said sternly.

"Alright alright." His phone beeped suddenly. He let his hands drop from me and glanced at it, putting it down after a minute.

"Something wrong?"

"I had a meeting in the morning. Well technically now."

"But you came here." I finished for him.

"I had to."

I felt bad, but also happy. Was I a terrible person because I was immensely happy he'd flown all the way here for me? Even as a result of my pettiness?

"I'm glad you did." I grabbed one of his hands with both of mine, intertwining our fingers together. He was paler than me, and it made a beautiful contrast.

;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

We slept together, just sleeping and nothing else. My legs were intertwined around his, my head on his chest. I counted each heartbeat lazily, looking at the glint from the streetlights filter in through the blinds.

"I can't sleep." He murmured. "Do you mind if I go out for a smoke?"

"No." I slid away from him, but his hands pushed me against him in a tight hug.

"One for the road." He said, then slid off the bed and walked over to his suitcase. After some rustling he shuffled out the door.

He left his phone on my bedside stand and it vibrated once, twice, then three times. I sighed, staring at the ceiling. It just kept vibrating again and again. I turned my back to it, breathing deeply and trying to sleep.

The whisper of the door sounded and his body pressed against mine again, the light smell of cigarette wrapping around me. "Your phone keeps vibrating." I whispered. I heard the creak as he reached for it and then a minute later set it down again. "Everything ok? Is it one of the guys?"

He paused for a second. "Yeah. No, but it's no one important." He sounded very off.

"Oh ok." Silence took over again. His arm wrapped around my stomach, pressing me tighter against him. He buried his face into my neck, earning a jolt and slight laugh from me. "You know that part is sensitive."

"I love your sensitive parts." He tried to say seductively. He kissed my neck, moving to the side of my jaw. I turned to face him, responding wholeheartedly to the kiss, but then breaking away.

"I have to wake up early tomorrow." I murmured, burying my head in the pillow. His fingers tickled my side, moving underneath my shirt. "Van." He tickled me again, earning another laugh from me. His mouth met mine again and I grabbed onto the back of his hair, pushing him closer to me and letting all responsibilities fade away.

The damn phone vibrated again. He broke apart from me, reaching for the phone and typing away for a minute. I couldn't help it. I glanced at his phone and the name jumped out at me. Abby.

When he moved forward to kiss me I pushed him away. "Forget it. I have to sleep."

"Come on baby." He wrapped his hands around me again, but I shoved them away.

"I'm not in the mood." I turned away and sighed, looking at the window until I finally shut my eyes and slept a dreamless sleep.

;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

Van:

I woke up with my head pounding. Jet lag.

Carmen's side of the bed was empty and my arm wrapped around her pillow while I took a deep breath.

Yesterday was the first time she'd ever told me she wasn't in the mood. I respected her decisions, but her sudden change in attitude was giving me problematic thoughts and worries. Suppose she'd thought it over and decided long distance wasn't worth it anymore?

I checked my phone. Calls from all the lads, and a couple of messages from Abby.

Meet for tea later?

I'm coming over

You're in the states?

Thanks for telling me

I shut my phone off and stretched. The guys hadn't reacted that terribly when I told them my plans to fly here, but they'd been pissed I'd left them to deal with everything with the label. "The boss is gonna go off on us." Bondy had said.

No biggie. I'd fly back the day after tomorrow. Plus I'd been writing like mad.

The clock read four pm. My body was off. My head was still pulsing. Carmen hadn't left a note, so I'd figured I'd call and see if she wanted to meet for lunch.

"Hello?"

"Hey babe. Missed you huh?" I rubbed my eyes.

"You were sleeping and I didn't want to wake you."

"That's fine. Are you at your internship?"

There was murmuring and then she responded. "Uh huh. What are you up to?"

"I just woke up. Was wondering if maybe you'd want to meet for lunch?"

"I already ate babe. But you can grab something and I'll meet you for dinner?"

"Oh um sure ok. I could take a taxi and meet you there?"

I heard her say something to someone and then she came back again. "Uh huh, sounds good."

"What's the address?"

I hung up after and looked around her room, figuring I could at least make the bed.

;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

The hours crept by. I watched tv and wrote some, pausing for cigarette breaks. I got a taxi to meet Carmen a little earlier than I'd said, stepping out into the streets of downtown. The sky was dark and the entire block was lit up, including her building.

The girl up front said hi to me and then told me where Carmen was. It was very cool, in the sense where everyone who worked there looked very well-dressed and had a hidden air of self-importance. I jammed my hands into my pockets and walked to the door with a plaque that said PR on the door.

I could hear voices inside, so I knocked with two fingers, looking around the office. It looked expensive.

"Hi! Can I help you?" The girl crossed her arms, keeping the door closed partly.

"Hi, I'm looking for Carmen"-

She threw the door open, giving me a view of the office. "Carmen, someone's here for you."

Carmen was standing right next to this guy, peering down. Something in my stomach twisted. She looked up, her face breaking into a smile. "Hi babe."

"Hey." I mumbled, getting a look at the guy next to her. He looked like every one of those well-dressed self important people I'd seen. But he looked at Carmen and then at me, turning his mouth down and looking back at his computer.

"Ella, Zach, this is my boyfriend Van."

"So this is the famous Van!" The girl practically twirled around me. She was loud, I could tell. "Carmen has told us about you! You flew in from London?"

I nodded. "Yup, had to come see my girl."

She practically shrieked, looking at Carmen. "He's so cute. You're both so cute together. Huh Zach?"

"Yup. Nice to meet you man." I smiled at him. He looked like one of those cool skateboarders. He even had the slightly long hair, and he wore a backwards cap. Kinda douchey but whatever.

"Carmen, go on, get out of here then. Don't worry there's not much happening for the rest of your shift. I'll see you tomorrow. Nice meeting you Van. If you have any nice British mates I could meet, that would be great."

I laughed. She was likeable. "I'll tell my friends. Nice meeting you too. See ya."

;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

"Your coworkers are nice." I said as we walked hand in hand. She pushed back the hair that escaped from her bun, looking at me.

"Yup, they're pretty sweet."

"Now I can see why you dress up so much. Everyone there looks like they've stepped out of the cover a fashion magazine." I followed her to her car, sliding in.

"Yeah, they're all so fashionable, and nice of course. Especially Zach and Ella."

"Huh." I answered casually. Something about that Zach guy was rubbing me the wrong way. "Ella seems very nice."

"What about Zach?" She asked casually.

"Can't say."

"He's helped me a lot."

"If you say so." I rolled the window then, sticking my hand out.

"I do say so." A quiet beat passed. "So where do you wanna go eat?"

"Surprise me." I tapped her thigh, looking ahead.

;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

Carmen:

"Hmmm, what abut Chinese?"

"Sure." He said, leaning back against the seat. I waited till the light turned green and then drove ahead. "You're only gonna stay there for a bit then?"

"What?"

"The internship. It's just like two months?"

"The higher up said I could stay after, and actually start earning a wage." I turned a corner, pulling to a stop.

"But you don't want to, do you?"

"I mean, I don't know yet. It's been fun."

He was quiet for a bit. "That Zach fellow, he's in the office all day?"

"Well yeah, he is one of the main PR people."

"Oh."

I parked, shutting off the car. He stayed there, not moving for a second. "What's wrong?"

"That Zach fellow wants to sleep with you."

I almost spit out from laughing. "What?"

"I saw how he looked at you. I know that look. I've given you that look."

"Babe." I started laughing again. But he stayed serious. My laughter died away, replaced by annoyance. "What is it cause he's a guy? I can't work or be friends with guys then?"

"Oh you're friends then."

"Yes, we are."

"I don't like it."

"You don't like it? But I have to like that Abby girl hanging around you?"

"It's not the same"-

"It is exactly the same thing. If you can have female friends then I can have male friends. And you don't get to approach me about it."

He slid out of the car, shutting the door after him. I groaned internally, sliding out of the car and shutting the door.

Dinner was quiet. Van sat hunched over his plate, burying one hand in his hair and not taking his eyes off his food.

"I'll pay." He finally muttered.

"No, I'll do it." I gave my card, tapping my fingers over the table and looking out the window.

"I don't want you to be mad at me." He crossed his arms.

"I'm not mad."

"Annoyed then."

"You sounded like a hypocrite." I mumbled, taking a sip from my water.

"I'm reacting like you reacted." He pointed out.

"Yeah well, now you see why."

He kept quiet, I got my card back, and we walked out silently to the car.

;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

Van:

I answered Larry's call while taking a smoke. "Hey mate."

"What's up lad?"

"I'm in the States. At Carmen's."

"I heard. What happened?"

"Oh ya know just wanted to come and see her."

"Ok." He waited. I caved in.

"We had some problems. But they're fixed. And now I think we have some more."

"Mate, you just go looking for trouble huh?"

"It's not that bad."

"Van, how can I say this without sounding like an arse...I can't. You don't take anything seriously lad! Ya could be one minute away from losing your girl and you just pretend everything's gonna patch over with some nice words and a song about her. Just like with"-

"Don't." I snapped. He went quiet. I sighed. "It's just jealousy that's all."

"On you?"

"And her." I protested. "It's not all on me Larry."

"Van, you act like yous never been in a relationship. Girls are never gonna like it when you blame them as well. Suck it up mate, take the blame." I took a drag from my cigarette.

"When I'm with her I fumble Lare."

"Well if you want to keep a good thing going you better act right Van." His tone changed. "I don't want to drop the load on you lad, but if I don't then who will?"

"I guess you're right. I gotta go. I'll talk to you later." I hung up and stepped on the cigarette, turning to go back inside the apartment.

Carmen was sitting on the couch, knees to her chest and biting her thumbnail. She glanced at me, and then sighed, putting her feet on the floor. "Van, I don't want to be like this."

"I know. Listen babe, I'm sorry. You're right, I shouldn't act a certain way and ask you to do the opposite. I'm sure that Zach guy is nice."

Her smile made my heart beat twice as fast. "Thank you. I'm sure you'd get along great. But yeah, I get that you'd be jealous. I felt the same way, well obviously you remember."

"Let's just not give a fuck anymore. Guy friends, girl friends, fuck it. It's whatever. As long as it's you I'm crawling into bed with." She grinned as I cupped my hands around her face. She smelled so good. "Are you in the mood now?" I whispered into her ear.

"Yes." She whispered back.

;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

"I should've bought a plane ticket yesterday." I murmured, burying my face in her hair.

"Mmmm. Oh, did I tell you?" She turned to me, eyes bright.

"What?"

"I quit the dentist. This morning while you were sleeping."

"I'm glad baby. I'll miss the joke though." I pulled her onto me as she grabbed her phone. I couldn't help but look at the screen.

Zach.

I tensed. Even when they weren't at work he was bothering her?

"Shoot."

"What's wrong?"

"There's a publicity event that Ella and Zach were supposed to go to. But Ella got sick. Zach was wondering if I could go."

"When?"

"Tonight."

"Tonight?" Annoyance bloomed in my stomach. "But we were supposed to have dinner."

"I know, but if this goes well I could really look good in front of everybody. Come on baby, I have to do this." She put her hands in mine.

I sighed slowly, finally nodding. "Fine, but ya better not let me fall asleep by myself."

"Promise." She kissed the corner of my mouth and stood up. I followed her into her room, where she threw the closet door open. "What should I wear?"

"You look good in everything." I flopped down on the bed. She kicked off her jeans, reaching for a dress. I stared at the ceiling until I heard the clatter of her rooting through her drawers. She was wearing something really good, something definitely not for just a casual event. "How formal is this?" I muttered.

"Did you say something?"

"How formal is the event? You look like you're going to meet the queen." I bit my nail, crossing my legs.

"I just wanna make a good impression."

"On who?"

"On who?" She frowned, and then stiffened. "Van if you're starting with the Zach thing again, I swear you're obsessed"-

"Well how am I not going to obsess? Look at you, you're damn too overdressed to try to be impressing any client!" I didn't mean to raise my voice. She shut her drawers, turning to me.

"How's Abby Van? Did you have a good chat with her the other night?"

"I don't know what you mean." I muttered.

"You never know what it means when it comes to you huh? You don't do anything bad, it's just me." She popped open her lipstick, leaning forward and attempting to put it on before letting it fall from her hands and turning around. She didn't look at me, simply grabbing her bag and leaving the room.

A minute later I heard the door shut.