"Hey! Open up Carmen I know you're in there!"

I winced at the heavy pounding on the door, lowering the television volume and setting down my phone on the couch. It buzzed again with another text from Van.

"You little bitch! Don't think I didn't notice you ditched me at the party last night! I couldn't even have fun because I was worrying about your dumb butt," Katherine huffed, pushing past me into the apartment without an invitation. "Luckily I got one of the guys' numbers so that counts for something at least." She plopped down on the couch, her eyes flickering to the television.

"Katherine you need to leave. I'm sorry I'm very tired. Work kicked my"-

"Oh no. You are not giving me that excuse again."

"I slept for four hours. Besides, I'm sure you can tell me all about the weed you smoked last night some other time." I didn't realize how condescending my words sounded until after they came out of my mouth.

"Fuck you Carmen." Katherine pushed her hair back, pulling her army jacket tighter as she crossed her legs. She glared at me but didn't bother to stand up. "Are you going to at least tell me where you went last night?"

"I met some people and we hung out."

"What are you talking about? I'm one of two people you usually hang out with."

"That's not true." I crossed my arms. I saw my phone light up again right next to her thigh.

"You got a text." She picked up the phone and tapped away at the screen for a moment.

Wait, how did she know my password?

"Katherine."

"Who's Van? And why is he calling you love and babe?" Katherine looked at me, wrapping a strand of hair around her finger. "Your dating life is nonexistent last time I checked."

Ok, ow. "I met him last night."

"No way, did he get somewhere with you?"

"What do you- Oh no, I just met him."

"Is he hot?"

"Katherine, give me my phone." I started walking towards her when the landline rang, garnering my attention. I wearily looked at her before retreating to the kitchen and picking up. It was a wrong number.

I walked back into the living room and saw Katherine tapping away on my phone, biting her lip gleefully.

"Hey!" She said loudly when I yanked the phone away from her grasp.

Van: Hey love, fancy joining me for a bite tomorrow?

Maybe :). But this isn't Carmen

Van: Um, who is this then?

Sorry Van, that was my friend Katherine. I'd love to, just let me know what time and place

"You're such a buzzkill, I wanted to see his response!" Katherine screeched into my ear. I stepped away from her, rubbing between my eyes.

"Listen I'm tired. So if you could just, you know."

Katherine sighed, pushing herself up and straightening forward. She brushed her bleached blonde hair off her shoulders, scratching her chin. "Whatever. Have fun with your boyfriend. Maybe he'll bang you soon enough so you loosen up."

I grew hot with embarrassment. Only Katherine. "Shut up."

"Later. I'm not going to be inviting you to any more parties if all you do is ditch me."

"Oh darn. That's a consequence I'll be willing to endure." I slammed the door shut after her, leaning against it and taking a deep breath.

Van: Oh. Yeah, can I call you right now? I actually prefer talking in person than texting if you don't mind

Sure

"Hello?"

"Hi." I heard rustling on the other end. "How are you?"

"I'm good, how are you?"

"Can't complain." His voice was almost a whisper.

"Is everything ok?"

"Yeah yeah. The lads are all passed out, they're hungover as hell. I am the only one who was lucky enough to escape that, all thanks to you."

I felt a very pleasant twirling in my stomach. "You're welcome. So about tomorrow."

"Any place you'd like. I am just a humble tourist in your hands. Do you work?"

"No thank god. I know the perfect place. It's called Roscoe's, I'll send you the address."

"Great, I can't wait to see you then. What are you doing?"

"Me too. I was supposed to be cleaning but I'm too tired."

"Poor baby." I could hear his smile through the phone. It did things to my nerves.

"Don't make fun of me." He laughed. "Are you just tiptoeing around on the phone?" I cradled the phone against my ear.

"I'm in the hotel lobby, but it's deathly quiet here too. You'd think for being Los Angeles there would be rockstars and actors in ever corner."

"Well now you know it's not all glamorous."

"But it could be. You're tired aren't you?"

"Not that much." I leaned against the couch.

"You have the sleepy voice."

"Sleepy voice?"

"Yup. And as calming and beautiful as it sounds to my ears, you have to get some sleep. I don't want you falling asleep tomorrow. Though I wouldn't much mind it if you fell asleep on me." It was a good thing he didn't see me now because I was probably as red as a tomato.

"Oh ok, um. I will see you tomorrow. Goodnight."

"Goodnight, sweet dreams." I heard the ding of an elevator before I hung up, letting his words resound in my mind. All the way until I slipped into bed and shut my eyes.

;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

I could spot him from outside the place, leaning over his cup and yawning calmly while looking out the window.

"Hi there." He smiled, standing up to give me a hug. I had never hugged him before. The warmth of his body mixing with mine was very very nice.

"Hi." I slid in across from him, shrugging off my coat.

"The coffee is pretty good here. Props." He held the cup to his mouth and looked over it at me.

"See, I told you. Wait until you try the waffles."

A waitress suddenly appeared next to our table and took our orders. "I'll get the waffles please. With chopped bananas, is that fine? Thank you." Van handed her the menu, turning back to me.

"You really like bananas don't you?"

"Could snack on them all day if I could. What's your favorite fruit?"

"Probably watermelon."

"Watermelon is good, although the seeds bother me. I used to believe if I ate one a whole watermelon would grow inside ma stomach. Messed up wasn't it?" He laughed and I joined in.

"That's so cute." I sipped from my coffee mug, knocking my knees together.

"You think I'm cute huh?"

"Yeah, I do."

"I think I've done pat of my job then."

"What's the next part?" I leaned forward.

"For you to think I'm sexy."

I burst out laughing, almost spitting out my coffee.

"What? You don't think I can make you think that?" He tried to sound offended but his laugh gave it away. He pushed his messy hair back, crossing his arms and leaning forward. "Tell me."

"I have your waffles right here." The waitress appeared, pushing a plate towards Van's direction.

"Thank you." He looked down at the waffles and then back at me, nodding in approval. "Alright these look amazing, but the question is do they taste good?"

"Well answer your question." I grinned as he shoved a forkful of waffles into his mouth and closed his eyes, leaning back and moaning.

"My god. This is beautiful." He talked with his mouth full, leaning forward and eating another two mouthfuls in succession before leaning back and looking at the ceiling. "By the way, I'm still waiting for an answer to my question."

"What do you think?" I replied after swallowing, resting my arms on the table.

"I think so." He laughed. "I'll be screwed if you don't, cause I find you incredibly sexy."

I stopped chewing, swallowing the almost completely intact piece of waffle. He smiled innocently, grabbing his fork and digging into the waffles once more.

;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

"Here let me pay."

"Van, I chose the place, let me."

"What kind of a man would I be if I let you pay?" He grinned, fishing out his wallet from the his back pocket and placing some bills on the table.

He held the door open and walked next to me. "What are you doing today?"

"I have to clean. And I have a paper for class tomorrow."

"How's your schedule like for the week?"

"I have have classes from Monday to Thursday. No class Friday. And work from Monday to Saturday, it changes though." I stopped next to my car. He leaned forward to let some people by, leaning close into me. He stepped back a little, still remaining close to me.

"Do you wanna come over?" I asked quickly. He smiled, probably hoping I'd ask.

"Sure. Are you sure I won't distract you from anything?" He leaned forward, really close to me this time. My heart began to pulse against my chest and the air felt ten times as hot.

"I'm sure." My voice came out breathy. I swallowed quickly. "So you'll follow me?"

"Yes I will."

;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

Everything was just as it happened on Friday night. Except I was plenty more at ease with the boy walking next to me. One of the tenants walked past us through the small hallway, forcing Van to stand behind me, his hands touching me lightly. I was not breathing right to be completely honest.

I unlocked the door to the apartment, throwing it open. Sunlight poured in through the blinds, making the living room look bright and airy, just the way I liked it. I took a deep breath and stepped inside, hearing Van shut the door after him.

"Please, sit down." I motioned to the couch.

"What are you going to do?" He plopped down on the couch comfortably.

"Well I don't want to clean or do homework with you here. That's boring." I sat down next to him, grabbing the remote to the television. I let it drop from my hands, suddenly overcome with an idea. Sitting around and watching tv wasn't exactly something exciting for Van probably. He probably wanted to go out and explore.

"What's something you haven't done in the states yet?" I turned to him.

He chewed his lip thoughtfully. "Hmmm. Oh wait I know. Are you sure you want to help me though?"

I laughed. "I mean, it's not something illegal, is it?"

"No but I need you to agree with me. To agree to it."

"I agree to it. Where do you want to go?" I stood up off the couch, reaching towards the coffee table for my keys.

"Nowhere. What I haven't done in the States is kiss a pretty girl yet."

" Oh." I felt my stomach drop.

"I'm sorry that sounds really lame." He stood up, his face apologetic. "I probably weirded you out." He stepped closer to me. "It was a really weird way to approach that. You can make fun of me." He smiled worriedly.

"I, um"-

"I'm sorry. You don't want to. We just met, I understand." He stepped back, looking at the ground and patting his hair down. He stood uncertainly over the couch. "I like you Carmen. You make me laugh and I haven't stopped thinking about Friday night, here, just talking to you like I'd known you all my life." He looked at me, shrugging.

"Van I like you too. Really." I walked over to the coffee table, letting my keys drop. He looked up at me, biting his lip and smiling uncertainly.

"Thank you."

"Why are you thanking me?"

"I don't know. I like to thank people." He laughed. I stood in front of him, my heart pulsating. It felt like my whole body was pulsing, my palms tingling.

He closed the space between us, suddenly grabbing my waist and pushing his lips against mine. I responded, feeling his heart beat underneath mine, his hair tickling my face. His arms wrapped around my waist, pushing me closer to him. I stumbled along with him, losing my mind with his mouth. I breathed deeply, not realizing my arms were locked around his neck, pulling him to me. We became a mess of limbs mixed together, his fingers locked around my hair.

We broke apart quickly, the only sound was our breathing resonating through the whole room. He didn't make it awkward, closing the space again and pressing his lips against my cheeks, my forehead, and my nose. "Now that I've kissed you, I don't reckon I'll ever want to go back to not doing it."

I laughed, feeling so giddy and surreal it almost felt like I was imagining everything. Van laughed with me, pulling me into him until a knock resounded on the door.

"Expecting company?"

"Nope." My brain had been so numb and distracted it took me a full minute to realize I had to get up and check who it was. I didn't even bother looking through the eyehole as I threw the door open.

"God give me all your food. I'm hungover and my head hurts." Katherine pushed past me, stopping halfway through the room when she saw Van. "Oh, hello. You must be Van."

"That's me. Who are you?"

"Carmen didn't tell me you were so handsome."

"Um, thank you." Van smiled tightly at me, looking unsure.

I felt my blood boil. Who did Katherine think she was? "Katherine, kitchen, now. I'll be back Van."

I pushed her towards the kitchen. "You better not be thinking what I think you're thinking Katherine."

"Rowr, calm down honey. I'm just testing the boy. You have to know if he's loyal or not."

"You're not testing him you're throwing yourself at him! Don't."

She laughed casually, only increasing my irritation.

"I want you to get out. Now."

"It's just a boy Carmen."

"I thought you were mad at me anyways. Why are you here?"

"I can't be mad at my best friend." She pinched my cheek, smiling cheekily. "Alright since you insist I will take my problems elsewhere. Have fun." She waltzed out of the kitchen, and I heard her say goodbye to Van before the telltale slam of the door.

"Sorry about that."

"Your friend seems... interesting."

"Yeah, I guess so. Anyways, weren't you just professing your love to me?"

"Oh hoh, she has jokes."

"I thought you knew that already." I laughed, looking into his eyes. They crinkled as he grinned.

"I knew that, I was just wondering if you did."

;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

Two weeks later:

"Yes, the appointment is set for tomorrow at four. Uh huh. You're welcome, see you then." I set the phone down at the desk, looking all over the empty waiting room. It was nearly closing time, and I was out of my mind with anxiety to get out of here.

And see Van.

I rested my elbows on the table, turning the volume up a little on the music I had playing on the computer. It was some band he'd recommended me, and the lyrics resounded sweetly and quickly in the chorus. I bit my lip and studied my nails, remembering what had happened a few nights ago when Van and I had met for coffee. There was little coffee and plenty of kissing. We'd walked around the city that night, talking about everything.

"Carmen?" I shot up and turned the volume down on the music. Lucy, one of the dental assistants, was standing behind me, smiling. "Ah ha! Caught you daydreaming for the third time this week. Lemme guess, it's a boy?"

"Maybe." I was chummy with Lucy, she was the only other person who worked here who was the closest to my age. Katherine was wrong, there were more people I hung out with besides her.

"What's his name?"

"Van."

"You're blushing just by talking about him. How cute! Alright I gotta head back to help Roberts with the final patient for the night. You've got what, fifteen minutes till closing time? Go on, you can go home. I'll tell Roberts I let you go."

"Ohmygod Lucy, you are an angel." I stood up, gathering my things. "I owe you one."

;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

"Hello?"

"Hi." I brought the phone close to my ear as I slid into my car.

"And for what do I owe the pleasure of hearing your beautiful voice?"I heard loud laughter in the background. "Excuse me one second. Ay, shut up!" Van yelled out. "What's going on?"

"Are you busy tonight?"

"Just grabbing dinner with the lads later."

"Do you wanna come over after? Maybe watch a movie?"

"I'd love to watch a movie with you. S'alright if I swing by say, 8?"

"Sounds perfect."

;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

"Hi Jesse."

"Hi Carmen. Bye Carmen." She shut her compact and threw it into her purse, hoisting it over her shoulder. We were friends in college and now we split an apartment. But instead of becoming closer we'd drifted apart and rarely saw each other anymore.

"Don't wait up."

She slammed the door shut after her, leaving me standing there in the living room. I tidied up for a couple of minutes until I heard a soft knock at the door.

"Hi." He was leaning against the doorway. He pulled his jacket tighter around him, stepping inside.

"Hey." I smiled.

"How was work?"

"It was work." We'd began this joke where he always asked about work even though he already knew what I was going to say.

Two weeks had passed since I'd met Van. We'd met up a bunch of times, twice for me to go see him play. I'd run into Angie, Talia, and Stacey, who gave me the evil eye the whole time I was there. Angie was nice to me, even referring to me as knowing her struggles as a "band girlfriend". Talia had greeted me like I hadn't totally ditched her, and I resolved to get her number and talk to her more. They were all nice people, but my first anxious thoughts when we'd first met hadn't allowed me to get to know them better. Well, maybe not Stacey. But now I'd be talking to them more regularly, because of Van.

When Angie had called me a "band girlfriend" I had smiled vaguely. Van and I had never exactly clarified that. For all I knew, he wasn't looking for anything serious. Unfortunately, in the span of two weeks I had invested myself into this blue eyed messy haired boy like my life depended on it.

Said messy haired boy plopped down on the couch, patting the seat next to him. "Come on then. I'm freezing, warm me up."

He was so blunt I had to laugh.

"You really don't hold back anything do you?"

"I do when it's worth it." He snaked an arm around my waist, pulling me into him.

"You didn't even let me turn the television on."

"Small details." He murmured, scratching the side of his head.

"We can't just watch a blank screen."

"I'll watch you then. You're more interesting than a movie at the moment."

I rolled my eyes, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. "Whatever you say Van McCann."

"Thanks Carmen Diaz. Two can play the name game."

"I thought you liked it when I said your name." He smiled, his lips inches from mine.

"I do, I just like saying yours also. Hope you don't mind."

I didn't.

One thing led to another and pretty soon I was lying underneath him. I wiggled below him, as he brushed his lips lazily through my jaw, his hands playing with the hem of my shirt.

"Wait, Van. Wait." I hadn't realized it was my own voice speaking.

"What is it? Are you ok?" He sat back, his hair hanging around his face and his lips parted.

"Yes. I just, I just want to know, what is this? What are we?"

He sat back, caught slightly off guard, but then regained his composure. "We're whatever you want us to be."

"But you can't mean that. Not really. You want this band to launch don't you? That means you won't stay somewhere for too long. You'll be moving around at all times." I sat up, pulling my knees to my chest. I looked at him, his eyes were suddenly averted to the ground.