— Author's Note —

Alright, so I had a really hard time writing this. I just feel really connected to the story and to Maggie. I hope you enjoy ❤️

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I found myself taking more shots than anyone before the ball dropped, indulging in all of the extra limes Sam had cut up. "Maybe slow down, Mags." Ronnie said, looking at me as I held the bottle of tequila in my hand, not caring about a class anymore. I was getting hammered and it was happening fast.

"Alright.." I slurred, something I normally never did while drunk. "I don't have no one.. anybody haha to kiss at midnight. So here's how this is gonna work. All of you need to kiss each other and me. It'll be like.. like... like a wittle love fest." I said gesturing to my pinky while I tried to say little. They all laughed at me.

"It's starting!" Someone yelled.

"Alright, get ready for some lovin'!" I yelled, people turned to look at me as I was almost standing on the countertop. "Someone turn up the fucking music!" The Talking Heads song Once In a Lifetime had come on and I was into it.

"10!

9!

8!

7!

6!

5!

4!

3!

2!

1!!!!!!" Everyone roared and I watched at people started kissing their significant others. I turned seeing Sam and Carm then Danny and Kenz, then... Jake and Hannah. I thought I might be sick, but I held my alcohol in me, I wasn't throw up drunk yet. Ronnie and Josh came around me hugging me tightly. Ronnie kissed my cheeks maybe a million times and I giggled. I turned to Josh who was still holding onto me as Ronnie went to hug everyone else. He moved closer to me and placed his lips on mine. I knew it was wrong, like I always do with Josh. I was falling into a pattern, I knew I was. When he pulled away, I pulled him back into a hug.

"Thank you for being such a good friend.." I whispered sweetly to him.

"Anytime." He said back to me, it seemed like he knew this wasn't going to happen and that the kiss was a goodbye and a hello of sorts. When I turned around, they were looking at us.

"What? I told you, I need loving. Now each and every one of you get over here." I went to peck everyone on the lips. Everyone was watching as I pecked Jake and his lips fit into mine perfectly, but it was quick and like everyone elses. "Now that's the way to start the New Year!" I shouted. "Let's get drunk."

I tried to avoid Jake and Hannah for the rest of the night and it sort of worked. I walked back into the kitchen, but stopped when I heard Sammy and Jake talking. Patterns, patterns...

"You shouldn't have come here." Sam said.

"I- I didn't know she was gonna be here."

"I told you, not to come. Why would I do that if she wasn't here?" Jake didn't speak. I held my beer tightly and walked in.

"What's up tuckers! Tuckers. Tfuckers. Duckers. FUCKERS." I had a difficult time getting my words out. They looked at me, thinking I had heard what they were talking about. I played it cool. "I'm going upstairs to pee." I said frankly.

I hoisted myself up the stairs, using all of my strength. I closed the bathroom, locking the door behind me. I still looked fine, but in my eyes you could tell I was drunk. I felt a sharp pain in my stomach, the type that would have normally made me cry, but I was numb. I went over to the toilet and peed quickly. I was getting my fucking period, great, great. I could always tell because I would become irritable and then try to play it off with sweetness. I pulled up my pants fixing myself and walking back down the stairs. It was about two in the morning and some people had left, but most were still here. I grabbed another beer and went to dance, meeting Thomas on the dance floor. I moved my body to the music and felt him come up behind me, the music changed, but he stayed there swaying with me. "Hey, I think you better go home." I heard Mackenzi's voice say. Thomas's body moved from mine, giving me a kiss on the cheek. I kept my eyes closed, swaying to the Cure. I felt a girlier body move to the front of my body and sway with me. It was Ronnie I could tell. She put her head on shoulder and I did the same. Friday I'm In Love was playing and thoughts rushed through my head making me feel uneasy.

"I don't feel so good." I said quietly. Carm had come over and held my hand as we danced.

"Let's go upstairs okay?" I nodded my head, to drunk to speak. We got in the bathroom, locking the doors once more.

"Hey Mags, let's go over to the toilet okay?" Ronnie said, again I nodded to her. Jake had gone to take Hannah home and that was all I could think about, but I tried to push the thought out of my mind. After multiple attempts to make myself throw up, Carm came over offering her assistance. Ronnie held my hair back and Carmen got ready to pull my trig. She was successful to say the least. I barfed into the toilet. Carmen rubbed my back as Ronnie kept saying "You're okay, everything's okay." I felt the sharp pain in my stomach again, this time I let out a little scream, closing my eyes so hard that I started to see weird colors in the black. When I opened my eyes, they were looking at me weird.

"I think something wrong." I said, finally able to speak.

"What do you mean sweets?" Ron asked.

"I don't know, something just doesn't feel right." I started to feel light headed.

"Ron gets her water and wet one of those wash cloths with cold water." Carm propped me up against the wall. "Hey Maggie babe, let's try to not fall asleep okay. Did you hit your head?" I shook my head at her. Ronnie brought a cup of sink water to my lips and I drank, but immediately threw it back up into the toilet. She pressed the cloth to my head, the cold water seeping into my warm skin.

"I feel really warm." I uttered.

"Lets get her out of these clothes." Ronnie said seriously. They lifted my arms and took off my shirt, the same pain shot through my body. I whimpered as it hurt more than anything I'd ever felt. "She might need her stomach pumped..." Ronnie thought out loud. They took off my pants next and looked at each other with worried looks.

"Mags, how long have you been on your period?" Carmen asked me.

"I'm not. I'm supposed to get it in a week."

"Her periods are never early." Ronnie whispered. "Never, like never ever." She said something else, but I couldn't hear. My eyelids fluttered at them slowly.

"None of us can drive, we've been drinking."

"Are we going somewhere?" I asked.

"Maggie, come on. We're gonna go on a little field trip." They lifted me up, but I still wasn't wearing clothes.

"We need to go to Birch Run." Ronnie said to someone. I felt a shirt being pulled over me and shorts of some sort coming over my legs.

"What's happening??" Sammy's worried voice boomed.

"Nothing much, baby, what's up with you." I said, laughing at myself.

"She's bleeding badly, we need to take her to the hospital." I was snapped out of my faded world.

"Nope!" I popped my 'p'.

"Yeah, but no one can drive."

"I can drive!" I yelled.

"It's bad Sammy."

"I can drive, I only had one drink and it was a couple hours ago." I was brought into the frigid air without a coat and placed into the car.

When I woke up, the orange sun was peeking through the mountain tops, ready to come up for the day. I winced at the pain in my head. I was fucking hungover times a million. I looked around, I wasn't home, I wasn't at the Kiszka's, I was in the hospital. Sammy was holding my hand, his head resting on the bed. Carmen and Ronnie were passed out on the other chairs in the room. I was in a hospital gown in a hospital bed, what the fuck happened last night. I squeezed Sammy's hand and he looked up at me. His eyes were red and bloodshot, presumably for staying up so late. "Hey..." He said sweetly.

"Sammy, why am I here?" I asked softly, so soft I thought he couldn't hear me, but he did.

"I'll go get the doctor." He tapped on the girls to wake up and they jumped up. Each one of them on either side of me, holding my hands. Ronnie had tears in her eyes.

"Did you know?" I shook my head lightly, not understanding what she meant. My attention was turned to the door as a woman in a white coat came through it.

"Hello, Maggie. My name is Dr. Stevenson and I have been taking care of you. We've taken you off pain medication and are happy that you're awake." I looked around nervously at everyone. "Do you remember anything that happened last night?"

"N- no." I coughed out.

"We're sorry to tell you that you suffered a miscarriage, from the bottom of my heart I am sorry for your loss."

"What..?" I asked quietly shocked. "Bu.. but I was never you know."

"On the chart it says that you were about to be in your 8th week of pregnancy." I couldn't speak I couldn't think. "We've called your emergency contact, one Mrs. Karen Kiszka and she will be here soon so we can fill her in. Right now you should be resting." I didn't know why, but I felt my face turn into it's crying position. Tears flowed down my cheeks as I wheezed through my mouth. Carmen's hand remained in mine, but I turned away and removed it.

"Maggie, don't do this. If we can't get through this.." Sam whispered to me.