I inhaled my cigarette deeply, watching Jake light his own. He looked good, really good. "Whatcha thinkin' about?" I asked.

"You." He said connecting his eyes with mine. I sat on the cold stoop in front of the dorm, my butt freezing quickly, but I was fine.

"What about me?"

"How good I feel around you." I smiled, knowing that the feeling was mutual. He came over and sat next to me. "God, you're so beautiful." I looked away, feeling myself blush.

"You're not too bad." I responded, but he was quick with his thoughts

"I messed up so bad. I don't know what I'm doing. I want to be with you." I looked at his eyes filled with frustration and desire.

"Jake, I think it might be best if we keep what's between us, just that, between us. I have a boyfriend. You have a girlfriend." He looked frustrated at me saying that, but I knew he'd never break up with Hannah, at this rate at least.

"I get it, can we just be together alone?" I looked at my feet, contemplating what he was offering. Almost as if I had responded yes, Jake moved closer to me. He kissed me and my entire body was warmed up again. I pushed my hands over to his chest, trying to push him away a bit.

"Ja..Ja.. Jake stop." I said as he kissed my neck. He looked up at me with puppy dog eyes, knowing he'd done something I didn't like. "I know myself. I know that I won't be able to do this. I can't watch you with another person, doing all the things I want."

"Mags, I want you and you know that. I just don't think I can do that to Hannah." He sighed loudly, knowing he probably wouldn't be happy at the end of the conversation. Something told me not to care, to just kiss him like in the pantry.

"If we do this, Hannah can't exist around us. She can't be between us." I said.

"If we do this?" He said realizing I was debating the situation.

"Oh, fuck it." I said quietly, pulling him only lips. He felt like the warm sun on a fall day, the type that crawls up your back and makes you sleepy.

We scurried through the first floor, trying to find an open door and then we found it. The room they used to show prospective students what a 'real' dorm looks like. "Perfect." I mumbled walking in. Jake turned to close the door and there we were again, this time I felt for nervous. The alcohol was wearing off and all the inhibitions that I lost at the party were back on me. I started thinking about it, I had lost my virginity in a weird pantry. I wasn't lying down, I was sitting up. It wasn't sweet and gentle like I thought it would be, it was rough and lustful. Maybe it was partially me, I thought as Jake pushed me against the wall making it thud loudly. I was just receiving the energy I got from him. He kissed all the way up and down my neck, landing on the warm, tender skin behind my ear. It felt good, I won't lie. Eventually a moan escaped my lips and I thought of marks. "Jake.. Jake.."

"Mmmh.." He mumbled into my skin.

"Don't.. don't leave.. marks.." I said, struggling to get my words out. He just kept sucking though and it annoyed me. "At least make them in a place no one will see." I said coming out of a haze. He looked up at me and smiled, one of those devious smiled. Then he started to kiss down again. I felt the wall behind me, it was cold and was making up for my warm body. He quickly threw off my sleeping clothes. I was bare, only in panties and I wanted him to feel the same. This time, I pushed him down onto the twin XL mattress. Getting on top of him, I was nervous, but it felt right. I pulled his shirt off, finally getting the chance to admire his chest. Then came the pants. I slid them off, having a little difficulty around the feet area, but we made it. Then I crawls back up, sitting on his lap, just to lean over and kiss him again.

"Fu-fuck.." Jake moans from under me. I could feel him more clearly now. Just on my inner thigh. I started to move back and forth, knowing it would make him feel good and that it might be a little bit of a tease. It turns out that it make me feel good too. I started slowly, the friction of our underwear building out our private places. I leaned over to kiss him, it was rough and it lingered on my mouth. I moved me mouth over to his ear as I moved.

I moaned loudly, pleasure building through my body. "Jake.. Jake!" I gulped down hard. "I want you in me. Now." My words were strong. He looked into my eyes, spinning our bodies so he was on top. Suddenly, I wasn't so nervous. He was in control and he knew what he was doing. He went back to kissing my neck before moving down to my breasts. Jake sucked on one side, watching me as I twitched under his lips, then the other. He continued down my stomach gripping every inch of my body. Quickly, he moved back up to me, his eyes locked with mine. Jake's fingers slid down my stomach, where kisses had been laid. Then he lingers near my underwear, just now realizing how little fabric they were made out of. He rubbed the inside of my thighs, then moved his hand right over my special place. I felt his fingers rubbing circles slowly on my clit. My moans were just growing from anticipation. I closed my eyes tightly, trying to take in the feeling, but then I felt Jake's hands sliding my panties off. Gasping a little as he made unscreened contact. I came quickly, I felt like maybe I should have been embarrassed, but something came over me. I flipped him over again, hoping to give him the same pleasure. I pull off his boxers making eye contact with it. I took a deep breath and made an uncomfortable movement down to take him in my mouth. I think it was probably obvious I didn't know what I was doing. He sat up a bit and reached for me, tugging at me.

"Hey, no it's okay, we don't have to do that." I was flustered in the dark.

"I'm sorry, it's just I've never really done it before and I don't watch porn because I feel like it's degrading and they treat the women really poorly." I said, speaking my truth. He kissed me. I started to feel comfortable again and then I was back laying on the bed. Jake between my legs. Looking into those big brown eyes was like some sort of drug. He kissed my forehead, then cheeks, then my lips. Without warning, he slipped into me.

"Fuck!" I yelled, still not used to the pleasure he was providing me. I closed my eyes tightly once more, hoping it would calm my breathing so I could enjoy it.

"Are you okay?" Jake asked, I could feel his concerned eyes on me. I nodded, eyes still shut. He continued on, in and out, in and out. He picked up the pace, every gasp I made acted as fuel for the both of us. My favorite parts were when he couldn't control his moans. He let out small throaty grunts and it got me closer to finishing each time.

"Can you hold on a little longer?" I asked him, hoping he could hold out cumming for at least a few more minutes. He nodded furiously, but I knew he couldn't, so I started to touch myself as he continued in me. The euphoria grew and I knew I would cum before him. "Fuck! Fuck! Fuuuuck!" I yelled, releasing myself into nirvana. I tightened around him and he started to go faster as I watched his every movement, now just enjoying him in me. He was sweating, but so was I. I pulled him towards me, kissing him. He moaned into my lips, his hips moving sloppily and then he came. He fell on me, his mouth still on mine. I was tired, but knew I would have to go back upstairs soon.

"Fuck, you feel so good." He said quietly. He pulled himself out of me and ran over to the trash can to take off the condom he had time to put on somehow. Then he came back over to the bed, getting under the weird covers. He reached for his pants, pulling out his cigarettes and lighting one. After he inhaled a few times, I stole it out of his mouth. I layed on his chest thinking about what we had just done.

I sat up and started to move to my clothes, or rather Cole's clothes. "Why're you going?" He asked. I looked at him with a saddened expression. It seemed like he hadn't fully got what I said before.

"I have to go upstairs before Cole goes looking for me." I said. He frowned at me. "Hey, I had a really nice time. Now and before.." I giggled a little. He smiled, looking at me as I slid Cole's big slippers on my feet. Walking over to him, I made him scooch over on the bed and laid down beside him out of the covers. "You'll be at Thanksgiving right?" I asked.

He nodded. "Yeah, I was supposed to go to Han- actually nevermind. Yeah, I'm gonna be there." He said.

"Good, I'll see you then." I kissed him, long and hard. "Something to remember me by until next time." I kept hold of his hand, not losing touch until I walked too far away.

I slipped out of the door making sure no one was in the halls. I took a deep breath. "I love you." I whispered. "Or at least I think I do.." I finished as I walked towards the elevators. Up I went, back to Cole.