"you're a mystery, you know that right" Alex says out of nowhere as we're lying on our hotel beds

"oh I know, it's how I like it to be" I say getting back to the reading I was doing.

"you've still got some tells about you though," Alex says making my head turn to look at her in interest

"tells? What do you mean" I ask curiously

"little clues that tell me about you," She says

"and what have you figured out about me from these little clues?" I say smirking

"well you flinch ever so slightly when a man comes up to you making me think you've got a bad experience with them in the past, Jill knows you from when you were very little as she's got a motherly instinct when she's around you, you rarely call anyone by their first name and always ma'am or sir if you don't know them making me think you were either in the military or some sort of training but after remembering that you don't have parents and were never adopted I assume you were raised in foster care and they must have been strict enough for you to call them ma'am or sir" Alex finishes explaining. I just stare at her in shock, not believing she's got all that from the way I speak and act.

"Toni, you okay?" Alex asks snapping me out my trance, I jump out my bed and stumble to the door feeling my breath becoming harder and harder to catch

"Toni!" Alex shouts as I walk out the door and run the best of my ability to the elevator. I quickly close the door and press Jills floor trying to find the right button since my visions incredibly blurry right now.

I feel the lift starting to move, making me lose my balance and slump against the side of the wall. I do my best to do the breathing exercises I've learnt over the years but nothing seems to be doing the trick.

Just as in about to give up the doors open and I can hear voices coming my way.

"Make sure you've got the statistics of Thailand and the- Toni! Jesus" Jill says having spotted me in the lift panting for breath.

She drops her stuff and kneels down to my level taking ahold of my hands in hers.

"she's having a panic attack, get me the headphones from my room now!" Jill shouts as she cradles my body into hers

"come on Toni, listen to my breathing and try to match it okay," Jill tells me, I try my best but my minds still flowing with everything Alex told me. I feel something being placed over my ears and music starting to be played.

It's the same song Jill showed me when I was 12 and had my first panic attack in front of her, it was what helped calm me down. I close my eyes and focus on the soft piano music forgetting about my breathing or Alex for a minute. I let my body relax into Jills as I wait for the song to end.

I open my eyes and see I'm still inside the elevator but we seem to be on a different floor because Alex is now standing in the doors.

"Alex can you go, I'll speak to you in a sec" Jill says and Alex nods her head but not before giving me a worried glance. I feel Jill slide the headphones off my head and wrap me up tighter.

"you are okay now, it's over, you'll be okay" Jill whispers as I start to cry. She rocks me back and forth on the floor as I let all the tears flow out.

I cry out in anger, hating every minute of having to remember what I had to endure, having to feel so weak when it happens.

"come on Toni, let's get you somewhere more comfortable" Jill says, I just nod my head wanting to be in a bed curled up right now. She leads me out the elevator doors, holding onto me tightly and I notice we're on my floor.

She gets to my room and knocks quietly since I don't have my keycard on me, Alex opens the door luckily and is about to speak when she notices me.

"Is anyone in here?" Jill asks Alex

"no, it's just me" she says, Jill helps me walk in the room and place me down on my bed. My bodies exhausted from having that panic attack so I can feel myself starting to fall asleep.

They both must think I'm asleep because Alex starts speaking.

"Jill what the hell just happened, I was talking to her one minute and then she just froze before stumbling out the room," Alex whispers, distress clear in her voice

"what were you talking about Alex" Jill says a little angrily

"I just said how she's a mysterious person but I could figure some things out from little clues, the asked what I'd figured out so I told her and then she froze" Alex answers

"I need to know exactly what you said Alex" Jill whispers back

"erm that she cowers from men so she had a problem with male figures growing up, that you've known her from when she was little and that she was raised in a stricf home because she calls everyone ma'am, sir or by their last name unless she knows them well" Alex tells Jill

"Jesus Christ Alex, no wonder she had a panic attack!" Jill aggressively whispers

"a-a panic attack is that what it was" Alex mumbles sadly

"Yes Alex because you brought up a bunch of stuff she doesn't want to remember, it took me years of trying to earn her trust for her to share her past with me and you just went and found out without permission" Jill whispers back very angrily

"I-I didn't realise," Alex says quietly

"Just keep an eye on her Alex, she's going to be passed out for a while so just wake her up before dinner, both of you skip the team meeting tonight"

"of course Jill, I'll make sure she's okay," Alex says, I hear Jill let out a heavy sigh and the door opening before closing again.

I peek open one of my eyes to see Alex slumped in a chair crying silently into her hands.

"Lex" I whisper out, her head shoots up and she wipes the tears from her face

"Toni, are you okay, do you need anything, should I get Jill?" she says asking me about 20 million questions all at once

"Lex," I say stopping the rant she was about to go on.

"Yeah," She asks me

"It wasn't your fault," I say not wanting her to feel guilty

"of course it was my fault, if I'd just kept my nose out of things and hadn't gone analysing you as I do to everyone then you wouldn't have asked what I know and you would have had a panic attack," Alex says starting to cry again

"Please don't cry, you're too beautiful to cry," I say lifting my and to wipe the tears from her face.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," She says again

"Just stop apologizing and come cuddle with me," I say with a small smile

Alex laughs lightly and climbs in next to me, I pull her into my chest and stroke her hair in hopes to calm her down

"shouldn't I be doing this to you?" She asks making me laugh slightly

"It takes my mind off things" I reply running my fingers through her hair.

I'm pretty sure we both fall asleep soon after, neither of us realising how relaxing the other presence really was.

••••••••••••

"snap a picture quick," someone says quietly in the same room, I scrunch my eyebrows up not sure if I'm hearing voices or not

"Shit, they're waking up," they say again.

"if I open my eyes and see someone standing at the end of my bed they are going to be dead," I say groggily.

I can hear a scramble of feet heading away from me so I just smile satisfied and snuggle further into my bed only to find a body on top of me. I open an eye and see Alex curled around me, her cheek resting on my chest.

"hey beautiful, we need to get up now," I say rubbing circles on her back

"5 more minutes, I'm comfy" Alex mumbles

"me too Lex but I'm hungry and I bet you are too," I say knowing food will do the trick

"I could do with a plate full of food right now," Alex says lifting her head to look at me

"How did I know that food would convince you," I say smirking at her.

"I think everyone knows my weakness is food," she says smiling up at me, I look at her in the eyes finding them incredibly beautiful.

"Hey, I'm sorry for earlier, I'll make sure to ask and not push for any answers if I want to know stuff," She says and I can tell she genuinely sorry.

"Its alright Lex, I promise. Surprisingly I trust you which is very rare for me since I've only got a small circle of people that I trust. I feel safe around you and I hope you do too" I say honestly

"I trust you too T, and that was probably the best sleep I've had in years," Alex tells me happily

"well looks like we'll be cuddling all tournament then huh," I say giving her a cheeky wink

"oh definitely," she says winking back at me as she climbs out of bed. I'm left there in shock that she just flirted back with me and didn't blush like she normally does.

I get changed into some nicer clothes and wait for Alex to finish in the bathroom before we head down for dinner. She steps out fixing her earnings and I just stare at her in awe

"sorry my earing would go i- you okay there T" Alex asks snapping me out my trance

"you look stunning Lex," I say stepping towards the bow blushing forward

"Thank you," She says looking down at the floor. I lift her chin up and stare down into those blue eyes if hers as I'm 6 foot while Alex is only 5'6.

"let's go get some dinner," I say almost whispering to her, she just nods her head and lets me lead her to the elevator.

"can you get me a seat, I need to speak with Jill for a second," I say to Alex when we are heading towards the food room

"yeah sure, do you want me to get you anything?" She asks me

"Nope, just my seat next to your cute butt will be perfect," I say smirking as she blushes again.

I spot Jill near the corner of the room so I walk over towards her.

"Toni, how you feeling sweetie," Jill asks putting her hand on my arm

"a lot better after that sleep Jill, sorry you had to see that by the way" I say feeling a little embarrassed over the situation

"it's nothing to feel awkward about Toni, the best of us have a moment like that and I've dealt with it all before" She says smiling sweetly at me.

"Thanks for stopping it by the way, I forget all about that song," I say thinking back to the first time she played it for me

"you used to listen to it for hours on loop at my house, I thought my ears were going to start bleeding!" Jill says making me laugh

"I'm blaming you for introducing it to me in the first place then" I reply

"alright put all the blame on Jill then," She says exaggeratedly

"oh I will" I answer walking towards where Alex has saved me a seat.

"there she is! The other half of Olex!" Kelley shouts as I sit next to Alex, I slide my hand under the table and find hers making sure to grab it and interlock our fingers.

"what the hell is an Olex Kelley" I question having no clue what my Irish sister is chatting about

"yours and Alex's ship name," She says smiling proudly at the name she's obviously invented

"wouldn't, I don't know, Talex be better?" I question making everyone who heard me laugh, Alex included.

"that ones already taken by Alex and Tobin" Allie says

"wait are you and Tobin together?" I say turning to look at Alex in confusion

"oh god no, the fans just ship us together, Tobins with Christen anyways" Alex replies and I feel my shoulders relax a little at the news

"Are we going to ignore that" Kelley whispers

"yep, we are" Allie replies back, I just ignore them and focus on Alex talking to everyone around her, a smile in her face

"If you're trying to be low key, start with not staring at her like you want to get down in one knee right here right now" Ali says next to me, I turn my head to see her smiling.

"I'm not" I say in protest

"oh please, I know that look anywhere, it's the same one me and Ash have for eachother," She tells me

"Okay let's say hypothetically I like her, but I don't know how to approach it since the World cups starting and I don't want to distract her from it." I say needing someone else advice

"Hypothetically speaking then, I'd leave it till the end of the final, continue doing all the other stuff like cuddling and holding but wait until this finishes before telling her your feelings unless she tells you first" Ali tells me

"firstly, that was was very wise and second how do you know about the hand-holding and cuddling," I ask confused

"well I have eyes and can see your hands under the table and there's a picture going around the group chat of you two cuddling in bed," She says

"I knew they had taken pictures! Those sneaky little shits" I whisper to myself

"I wouldn't be too mad, the picture is very cute," She says and gets out her phone to show me.

It's of Alex sleeping with her head on my chest while I have my arm wrapped around her shoulder. I do have to agree with Ali, we do look cute

"just don't post it anywhere I don't want her to start stressing over crazy fans and the media," I say to Ali

"of course, no one wants to cause unnecessary drama right before the World cup starts," She says making me happy with the fact it won't get spilt.

The rest of dinner went well, I didn't let go of Alex's hand the whole time and I don't think she minded it anyways. Dinner had just finished and we're now heading up to bed, we've got another full day tomorrow in the gym this time so it shouldn't be too much for me.

I'm getting changed for bed and I can feel Alex stating at me.

"take a picture it lasts longer" I say still facing away from her, I turn around and see her looking away blushing.

"Come on Lex, I'm only messing, now get over here, I need my cuddle bud," I tell her jumping into my bed and patting the spot next to me

"Just give me one second," she says and suddenly takes off her top leaving her in just her bra facing away from me

When I think it's all over she then proceeds to undo her bra, leaving her fully topless in the same room as me.

"take a picture, it lasts longer," She says with a smirk in her voice.

"fair play Lex, fair play," I say turning onto my back and looking up at the ceiling, my hands resting behind my head.

"you'll let me know if things weren't okay right?" She asks dipping into the bed next to me.

"You'll be the first to find out, I promise" I say making the forward smile and cuddle into me

"Thank you for today, the team really needed it," Alex says quietly

"Jill didn't just call me to fill in a spot, any player could do that, she called me in because she knows that I can keep people calm. That's my job with you guys, to keep you calm and relaxed while you go win this World Cup" I tell Alex

"well she chose the best person for the job," Alex says

"why, because it gave you a cuddle buddy?" I say jokingly

"exactly" She says quietly before falling asleep in my arms.

Dang this girl is making it really hard for me to wait a whole month before I can kiss her.