While I was inside the elevator, I was thinking of my explanation to say to Rafael. I can't freaking believe that he even assigned Don's mob to search for me if ever I was kidnapped or something.

He can be a total jerk to, huh? Rafael is surely not worried about . He us worried about if the people found out that I ran away from him and his pretty plan will be destroyed. Too shame for him.

Mike is here with me inside also, he is carrying my shopping bags for me. He said he doesn't want me to get tired from carrying them.

When the elevator dings as the doors open, his office is quiet and no sign of him. Maybe in his penthouse. I stepped out and told Mike to leave the bags here and I will take carry them from here. I am going to head the another elevator but it opens when I was about to press the button.

There he is, his face is blank but his eyes were staring to me. If looks can kill...I would be dead now.

"Rafael, I~"

"~Are you stupid or clueless or something?" He asked, walking towards me but his voice is somehow trembling a little. He steps out of the elevator as he just keeps on stepping closer making me step back.

"Where have you been?!"

"I-I just went for a little walk" step back.

"With who?!" God, his face is so scary like he wants to kill me.

"With...with someone" I faced away from him but he keeps on stepping forward until I felt the cold concrete wall behind me as he trapped me with his hand on the side of my head.

"I'm asking you again. Don't test me, Belle. You know how awful I am when I get angry." his voice sounds like he is warming me. "Who are you with and why did you leave!"

"BECAUSE I'M UPSET AND DEPRESSED!" I snapped at him as it came out that I am shouting, as my face feels hot from the anger building inside me. "I need to get away from all of these shits in our lives, Rafael!"

He seems a little taken back of my voice. "I went out to buy something but I ended up going to the park because I still don't want to face you but Gabby met up with me and we went out together to have fun!" I told him straightly without stopping "I just want to be myself in just a short time but suddenly I found out that there are hundreds of men are searching for me like in was a lost child, are you freaking insane?!" I am still shouting at this point. "But don't you worry, dear husband I am not gonna ran away from you and our deal"

Rafael was just looking at me, waiting for me to stop but I am sick of this and I was going to walk out from his arms but he suddenly hugged me tightly. A bone crushing hug.

"Rafael, what are you doing?! Let go off me" I told him but he is not listening to me.

"I thought something happened to you." He spoke that shutting me quickly. "You don't know how worried I am when I saw that you are not in every room in this penthouse, Belle. When the men downstairs told me that you left early in the morning...so many bad thoughts came into my mind immediately"

I was left there in his arms speechless. He's worried about me? His hugs was very tight like he is afraid of something.

"Jesus...you should have just answer my calls! Or leave me a message so I won't go crazy here searching for you." He told me as he broke our hug, but he held me arms length.

"I'm still mad at you, remember?"

"Fuck, what if something happened to you?" His frown went deeper "Then I have to search every corner of this city just to know if you are fine. What on earth is on your mind?!"

I shrugged off his hands on my shoulders first before starting to walk away from him "You don't have to know everything about me, Rafael. My business is my business alone. You don't have to know where I go or where I go because I don't fucking mind yours too."

I am near the elevator but Rafael's hard hand grab mine and pushed me back to the wall "What is your problem, Isabelle? That annoying attitude is making me angry. You talk like I did something to you at the party last night. Tell me the truth, did I do something that upsets you?"

"NOTHING! You did nothing, Rafael!" I shouted, trying to escape his hold but his grip. Of course I can't tell him that I saw him with Marissa planning to leave me. I will only make myself an idiot if that is. "You did nothing, my dear husband! Don't you understand that?! You absolutely did nothing." My voice was a little sarcastic as I repeated the same words over and over to annoy him.

"And you think that it will calm me if you said nothing, Belle?" His eyes became darker and his face was so serious like he is sick of my lies. Well, I'm so sick of him too!

"Why, Rafael? Why so guilty? Did you do something that might get me upset? Huh, you did something? You meet up with a slut?" Now the sarcasm in my voice were gone as it turns into an intimidation and stronger than I usually have.

Now it's his turn to be speechless.

"Whats wrong, Rafael? What's with that aghast look?"

"Don't accused me of something, Belle." He stepped away from me as he turn his back to me to head his office desk. "I am not doing anything wrong. As long as I remember, we were doing right in the party but it changed when you were gone to the restroom. Tell me the truth, Belle. Did my father talked to you?"

His stubborness is making me angry and how dare he accuse his father again! His dad has nothing to do with this!

"You have a lot of guts putting your father in the picture while all he did is be good to me" sheez, I cupped my mouth after I said that and that caused Rafael to face me.

"What do you mean be good to you?"

Oh no, he is misunderstanding this. "Your Dad is nicer than you thought he is. Why won't you give him a chance to prove to you that he can be a good father to all of you"

But Rafael's face shows confusion and pissed at the same time "Wait...my dad talked to you, didn't he?"

"Y-yes but~"

"~Bullshit!" He suddenly slammed his fist on his desk making some of the things on top fell from the impact and me to flinch. "That old man needs to be taught a lesson! How many times I need to tell him to leave you out of this!"

"He did not do anything wrong!" I shouted at him "In fact, all he did was be nice to me"

"Nice to you? So he does talk to you behind my back" his voice was terrifying.

"It's not like what you think, Rafael. What I mean is your dad is not as bad as you think he really is! You already closed your mind about him being a miserable Dad while all he wants is you and Roberto to be okay"

Rafael raised his hand in front of me, telling me to stop from talking "So this is why you are being mad at me? Because I'm being selfish to my own dad?"

"No, you are being close minded!" I blurted out and unable to control my own emotion. I ran my fingers through my curled long hair "You know what is making me mad? You don't know how to forgive someone. For once in your life, be happy."

"A man like me doesn't deserve happiness"

"Blah, blah, blah..." I mocked him, rolling my eyes and crossing my arms on my chest "You just keep on saying that to yourself, Rafael because you don't listen to anyone and you only listen to yourself!"

Rafael groaned and faced, the anger in his face is very visible but his tone remained calm but cold "We always have these kinds of conversation, Belle. We will always argue at the same topic over and over, telling me to change, be happy, let go of my usual self and learn how to get along with my brothers. Now let me get this straight to the point now for you to shut up about this..." he took a deep breath before opening his mouth again.

"It is my choice to be like this. People like you are always like that, you only care because you need something... but what happens if you already got that? You will do whatever your heart content and we will act strangers anymore so why interfere with my life?! You are nothing but a wife, Belle. You heard that? Fake. That means you will only act as my wife when I need you to. And having my life is not part of your job so OF MY LIFE AND MIND YOUR OWN FUCKING BUSINESS!!!"

His words shocked me.

Pained me to the heart.

I never saw this side of Rafael...so angry and he shouted at me.

Rafael groaned louder than earlier as he messed his hair in irritation, facing his desk again this time, his back to me.

My eyes starts to blur and tears started flowing down my cheeks.

"You know what?" I spoke bitterly this time, I'm done here. "If you think your mom will be proud to you if you fulfill that stinking revenge of yours...Tsk, you just put her on shame. Having a dark hearted son —no wait, scratch that. Having a stubborn son of a bitch, only made her death nonesense." I was gonna walk until until I remember something.

"Oh before I forgot...your Dad is dying." I blurted "He talked to me and explain everything. Poor guy. He is gonna die and his son is still angry at him for false reason" I told him before getting inside the elevator to go to the penthouse.

I started crying again, but this time, I felt the real pain. I can't help but hiccup and sob as I arrive at the penthouse.

Why do all people I love hurt me? I love my family...yes I really do but all they did is hurt me and let me drown on the pain by myself. Now, it's Rafael.

Why did I fall in love with a heartless man? I keep on saying myself not to but...that is why I hate love. You can't control it. You will just fall in love more if you ignore it.

I ran to my room upstairs and locked myself inside. I don't want to talk to anyone for today. I need to cool down.

Stupid sick love.

I didn't sign up for this. Our deal is clear that no one should fall in love but I was too confident that I won't be in love because based on my experiences.

God, why does this happen to me?

My phone vibrated once again in my pockets, I was about to throw it away but Gabby was the one who message me.

Hope that you and your husband be okay after you show him the lingerie we bought ;) Good luck, love!

Gabby...

Everything about her seems like I've been connecting dots. We look like a lot and many people noticed how we look twins...more like sisters to be in fact. But she was also abused...like me.

What if she's my lost older sister?

No, take that thought out, Belle.

It can't.

But the thought won't leave me in peace.

But the only solution here is...

I need to talk to my Mom.

It's almost 2 years since then...

That is the only answer to my problem so I have to make a decision.

I opened my phone and searched for Mike's name to call him.

It only took 2 rings before he answered it. "Mrs. Knight..."

"Mike, I have a favor to ask you." I clenched my fist as my heart starts to beat so fast. Why am I nervous? "Can you please search for Alyssa Heinrich. Investigate where she is now and how she is doing."

"Understood. This will be done as soon as I can, Mrs. Knight." He spoke with gentleness and generously.

"But please don't let my husband know about this? Please...?" My voice came out silently when I said the last. I grip on the hem of my coat, waiting for his answer.

"Of course." He finally replied. "I promise, Mrs. Knight."

"Call me if you have it." I told him "Thank you, Mike. Can I count you on this?"

"You don't have to ask me again, Mrs. Knight. You can count on me on this."

"Thank you." I replied before ending the call and throw my body on my bed.

I need to find answers.

Answers about my life. I want to know if there is still a family I can look forward to. Oh God please help me.

We will see each other again, Mama. Just wait and see.