❝I live in Florida, and when people ask how close to the beach I am, I say, Twelve minutes or twelve hours. Depends on which beach you want to go to.❞—Jarod Kintz

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"Aria? This is Lyndsey... I thought you should know--I talked to Kale today."

"What? Oh, no..."

"'Oh, no'- what? What are you worried about?"

"You know what I'm talking about, Lynn."

"So you're acknowledging it?"

"Acknowledging what?"

"You know what I'm talking about, Ari."

"I just had a thought-- what if we're talking about completely different things?"

"But are we?"

"I dunno, maybe if you'd just tell me what you and Kale were talking about, it might clear up a bit of the confusion."

"He was talking about you. Obviously."

"What do you mean, 'obviously?'"

"Well, you are his girlfriend--last time I checked anyway, so it's natural that he should be somewhat into you. Does that seem unreasonable?"

"You know what? Bye."

"Sorry."

"Oh, no... this is just... Oh no, oh no, oh no ,oh noooo."

"What?"

"Shut up, Lyndsey. You know what I'm going through and you're not helping."

"No, I need you to be honest with me, Aria, or you know I can't help you. You need to tell me how you really feel about this guy."

"More like, 'how I don't feel' about this guy."

"So you're losing interest?"

"I don't know if there ever was any real interest to begin with, Lyndsey."

"So... you think whatever you guys had last fall was just a crush?"

"Maybe?"

"You don't sound one hundred percent sure."

"How should I know all this intricate psychological information?! I'm a teenage girl, Lynn; my emotions are harder to read than War and Peace."

"That's quite a claim to fame."

"Your opinion is irrelevant."

"Look, I'm sorry, Aria... I hope you don't think that I don't care about your relationship situation... I do; I really do."

"Nah, it's more like you care too much. It's hard enough for me, Lyndsey--you pressuring me to break things off is only making it worse."

"I don't want to pressure you; I'm just trying to help."

"That's like saying 'I don't want to kill you; just stab you repeatedly until you can't breathe and die anyway.'"

"Um... okay; that's more or less the same thing."

"Exactly."

"... Aria, I hope you aren't misjudging the situation."

"I--I guess I just want Tinkerbell back, honestly; he always knew how to brighten the mood... encourage me when I was struggling... send me... fruit."

"Go eat some fruit then."

"But--but I CAN'T because then I just think about him... and it hurts too much."

"Aria... I'm sorry, but I don't know what else to tell you."

"Let's see... we don't have anything fresh in the fridge..."

"I could drive over and take you to ShopRite--"

"... except, wait--there's some kale in here."

"Oooh, the irony."

"Shut up."

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