This person can't seem to move on from someone they loved.

Hey!

It’s very common for people who are in love to feel the way you’ve described yourself: being addicted, wanting her to talk to you, wanting to see her, wanting to go to the same university as her. But this just shows that despite the love you might feel for her, you placing her as a priority in your life could harm your life. That is to say, going to the university she is going to will not necessarily be a good choice for you. You might not like the environment there or find the right major choice. Being bored without her shows that you focused on her your entire life and now you have nothing without her. You are not focusing on yourself enough. Being super excited and crazy over a person is normal when you’re in love, but as you go years into a relationship, it’s not the exciting things that matter, it’s how comfortable and easygoing and peaceful it is when you’re with someone. That’s how you go into a relationship for the long run. If someone makes your heart flutter rather than your heart be at peace, you will never be able to show them your true colors and will always want to appear at your 'best' in front of them. That will cause you to never relax in front of the person you supposedly like.

If your friends are all advising that she is toxic for you, I’m pretty sure they have a good reason for it. And if you think it’s toxic but don’t care, that’s exactly how toxicity harms people. It’s a manipulation of how much you want someone, despite them constantly hurting you. That’s extremely harmful for you and you are disregarding your own life for someone else's. You live one life. You can only make a few choices in this short life, and spending it all on someone else is definitely not the right choice.

Overall, I think you are being quite impulsive. Yes, your feelings for her are strong, and there’s nothing wrong with that. But it’s entirely wrong to make major or minor decisions in your life based on someone else’s life and their choices. Love isn’t only about one-sided sacrifices. It’s also about give and take. I think you should let your feelings calm down and stay away from the person that doesn’t bring you positivity in your life.

I suggest you take your time and concentrate on yourself, not on your friends or family. Focus on yourself first and treat yourself with good food, splendid shows, and wonderful exercise; do better for yourself. Then focus on your familial relationships and treat your parents and siblings well. Your friends and neighbors come next. This teaches you to start from within and search for positivity in life. You have no reason to search for and go towards negativity and toxicity in life. You deserve better and you’ll find better once you focus on yourself more.

Please take care and come back again if you have more doubts!

Thank you,

The Advice Column Team