This person's boyfriend says that he is not physically attracted to them after they got a haircut.

Hey!

If the matter of your body image issues and ED were known to your boyfriend, and he still shamed you over it, then it most definitely is an issue you should be more concerned with. Being in a romantic/sexual relationship with a partner means you want them to be happy and healthy- emotionally, mentally, and physically. This goes both ways. If your partner isn't concerned about your body image issues or ED, it could be discouraging to know that. Moreover, shaming or making someone cry and even making bad remarks about your partner who is struggling with their body is a red flag indeed.

In simple terms, I would be very concerned about whether your partner is good for you or not, and in the short request you sent us, it seems he isn't a very good partner to you. A good partner would encourage body positivity and help you with your mental, emotional and physical changes. This also goes both ways again. A healthy relationship doesn't mean you rely on him completely for all the compliments and comments on your body. It means he encourages you to take more chances and changes to your body image. If you wanted a haircut and you feel good about it, no one should be allowed to discourage you about it. Haircuts can be a bit hard to get used to in the first few days but after a while, they feel good and you feel more positive about them. You should also be allowed to feel that positivity about yourself, especially if you liked your haircut before he said anything.

I encourage you to talk to your boyfriend about how hurtful his comment was and how it made you feel, especially since he made you cry. Even if he admits his wrong, his comment genuinely seems alarmingly immature, and in all honesty, I don't think a partner who makes a comment like that is quite mature enough for a good healthy long-term relationship. If the talk doesn't go well, I suggest a breakup because you do not deserve that kind of negativity in your life. Especially since you're struggling with the issues at hand, you should be focusing more on yourself and more on surrounding yourself with positivity rather than keeping company with people who bring you down. Please keep the negative people at bay, they won't do you any good.

I hope everything goes well in your life. Please don't hesitate to reach out again in the future. And personally, I'm sure your hair looks great.

Thank you,

The Advice Column Team