This person has started talking to their friend again but there is still some awkwardness.

Hello,

I'm glad to hear you talked it out with her previously. Great job! Now though, we've got a new problem. So, your friend is only engaging with you outside of school, or at least outside of class, and she's especially disengaged when she's with her new friend. It seems to me that school is a stressor here. She is lively and engaging outside of class and when you hang out in groups outside of school, but she stops paying much attention to you in class. You feel disconnected. As much as you don't want to talk to her about this, it's your only option if you want to reach any sort of understanding or compromise. You can worry and stress and think all day long about what is going on inside her head, but you will never really know if you don't have that conversation. Why play detective when you can sort it out between yourselves with one conversation?

You love your friend, and it probably hurts your feelings being so weird and disengaged with each other. If you want your friend back, if you want to get to the bottom of the weirdness, you're going to have to seek the answers directly from her. It's the easiest and cleanest way to manage it, and you are far less likely to get any more mixed up than if you were to ask around for other opinions on what's going on.

I suggest talking to her privately either in person or on the phone if you feel comfortable that way. Explain your position and how you've been feeling since school started, and ask her what's going on on her end, if everything is okay, or if you unknowingly did something that upset her (I am not suggesting anything, but it's good to cover the bases). You can tell her that you miss your friend, and you're tired of the weirdness between you.

As for your side, it can be difficult knowing how to act around someone you have or had a crush on. It's awkward. Unfortunately, that is a hurdle you have to jump over. Spending more time together can help you feel more comfortable in each other's space. Annoying as it is, there is no immediate fix here. It just takes time to get used to being yourself around her again.

I hope this helps, love. Good luck, and we wish you the best for the new school year!

Best,

The Advice Column Team